Pinkshell4u

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July 9th I woke at 6 am, we didnt have to be there until 8:30 but I hate being late.  Once at the hospital I checked in at the Admissions office.  A nice lady took us (me, husband and son) to another waiting room with our paperwork.  We sat in this room the longest, waiting made me more nervous.  Finally I was called and I left my bag with them as I was taken back to get started. Gown, booties, hairthingee. I was put in a pre-op bed and my nurse was very nice. She started my IV and covered me with hot blankets.  The anasteathologist arrived, he was cute and very young. I explained to him my fear of the central line and he told me to not worry, that I wouldnt feel a thing.  The nurse came back and pushed some drug into my IV and BOOM, that was it, I was out.  Next thing I remember was the recovery room. I vaguely remember my husband and sons faces but have no idea what I may have said to them.  That night I became alittle more lucid.  At about 8 pm I asked to get out of bed to walk. I walked everyday at least twice an hour. My cathater came out on Day 2. My EKG monitor came off Day 2. I developed a very strong aversion to Boost/Slimfast in the hospital. The smell makes my stomach clench now. Even after getting home and washing off the hospital smell, I still get whiffs of that stinking Boost. Ugh. I'll never drink another protein drink in my life...I'd rather suck my protein out of a dead cows ass.  Anyway, on Day 3 I got the foamies and it was aweful.  All day spewing up foam. Gah! I knew I would be able to leave until I had one good day of eating so I did my best on Thursday to get down some food.  At 6 pm the doc came by and we agreed that I could go home. Yay. They managed to stick me another few times before I left. Oh and my favorite nurse Melissa came and pulled out my central line (Owwwwie).  I was so ready to go.

So now I'm home.  Drinking water and licking yogurt off of a spoon slowly.  Had a hard time sleeping last night. Couldnt manage the recliner, it was just too soft. The bed is too high. So I dozed as I perched in the corner of the couch.  I only sleep a few hours at a time so I was up and down all night. I feel pretty good this morning, other than the incision pain. Its nowhere near as bad as when I had the TT. I wont take anymore of the pain meds, just Tylenol from now on. I took some incision pictures when I got home which I will post as soon as I can. Now I'm gonna lie down.

Now comes the bad time. My mother called and got all "You shouldnt do this." on me.  Makes me nervous and all I could say is "Everything will be fine Ma."  I've been hungry all day and today it is pissing me off.  I dont wanna go to sleep, I dont wanna stay awake.  I'm afraid.

Measurements for June 24, 2007. Weight 240.

Neck:16                                  
R. Arm:15.25              
L. Arm:14.5                 
Boobs:49                     
Under Boobs:41.5        
Waist:40.33  
Butt: 52.5                
L. Thigh: 30
R. Thigh: 29
L. Calf: 18
R. Calf: 18.5
R. Ankle: 10.25
L. Ankle: 10.75

Measurements for July 7, 2007 Weight 225.

Neck: 15.5
R. Arm: 14
L. Arm: 14.5
Boobs: 47
Under boob: 41
Waist: 40.5
Butt: 51
L. Thigh: 28.5
R. Thigh: 27.5
L. Calf: 17
R. Calf: 17.5
R. Ankle: 10
L. Ankle: 10.5

My waist and ankles seemed to have gotten bigger!? Ugh. But overall, with 15 pounds lost, I've also lost 9.75 inches. Cool.  My clothes fit pretty much the same.

Woke up early.  My shin was aching.  Last night I got up to pee and on the way back to bed I whacked my shin on the corner of the chest at the end of the bed. THWACK! It was so hard that Joe sat straight up and said Holy Shit Are you OK?! I limped back to bed and rubbed it alittle, eventually going back to sleep.  This morning? A HUGE black egg.  Its ugly. That was my excitement for the day.

I have nervous butterflies. I'm finishing off the laundry and just got back from the grocery store.  Last minute stuff.  Sydney will be staying overnight with her friend Angela, her Dad will drive her down to 4-H camp in the morning.  I really need to remember to buy them something for everything they've done for us, they really have been lifesavers.  Averys bag is packed for the hospital as well.  Autistics dont like sitting for long periods of time, Avery is easily bored.  So I bought him a bagful of stuff to do, hopefully it will be enough so he doesnt drive Joe nuts in the waiting room.  

So here I sit, waiting. Tomorrow I will be internally disfigured for life. Its been a long road to this decision.  I know its the right thing to do. I just wish it would hurry up and get here dammit!

I'm serious......my house is caught in some kind of maniacal time stall.  Everytime I look at the clock, its only moved a minute or two....eerie.  I have nothing else to do, unfortunately I have OCD and have been prepared since last week.  I'm actually making messes so that I have something to clean up. Its pathetic. My old man gets home at 7:30 tonight and I already have his dinner ready. He goes back to work in the morning and I start my final full day of waiting. OH GAWD! Another day of doing absolutely NOTHING! ARRRRRRRRGH! 

Sorry.  I do have movies to watch and a book to read. *Sigh* Maybe I'll walk the mall in the afternoon. Crap.

I forgot a few things that went on in my last doc visit.  Silly old brain.  I WONT have a drain. YAY!  I still have to have the central line. BOO!  He promised (hehe) me a 4 inch incision.  He said he doesnt want to make a bigger than necessary hole in me, we hope it will be small.  I told him that my liver should be about the size of a kidney bean, he said he'll measure it for me. HA!  Its getting late and I feel oh so loopy. Nite.

Pretty uneventful day today.  Took Joe grocery shopping (his least fav thing to do) and made sure he knew he'd be cooking for himself and kids for at least a week or so.  He bought stuff he could make, hehe, Hamburger Helper anyone?  I'm actually looking forward to the hospital stay......ah, peace and quiet....noone to wait on.....damn, I even get to SLEEP.  If you knew my house, you would understand.  Last major surgery I had, I didnt get a lick of rest once I got home.

I'm kinda getting used to the LD, although I must say I'm getting very sick of Crystal Light.  I dropped another pound, wheeeeeeeee.  Thats 15 pounds!  So I'm on the phone with my Dad last night (Hi Dad!) and he reads my blog and he says "You're losing weight with that diet they have you on.  Why do you need the surgery?  Why not just stay on that diet?"  I answered that I couldnt stay on this diet forever, it just isnt practical.  Also I failed to mention that theres nothing stopping me from cheating.  And I would at some point, its in my nature.  With the RNY I wont have the HUNGER that KILLS me, its the reason I am this size, my demon hunger.  The nerves will be cut, the stomach will be smaller, I wont have to plan where my next large meal will be coming from.   I'm keeping a positive attitude, although I've had family and friends tell me "It probably wont work for you."  I'm going to make it work, I have the determination. That sounds so goofy, and I dont care.

I've been reflecting today, imaging all the things I'll do when I'm rid of this fat suit.
1. Dress better.
2. WANT to play with my kids.
3. NOT sweat while I'm folding laundry.
4. Have better sex.
5. Be more confident.
6. Make more friends.
7. Get involved with everything.
8. Run.
9. Go to the pool more.
10. Enjoy life.

Today I met with Dr. Hutcher for my pre-op appt.  He's a great man, with a very small complication/death rate.  I was impressed with his record before I even chose him.  He only does Open RNY which is what I wanted.  He's very straightforward and honest.  He stayed and answered all my questions (and I had some doooozies,hehe)  He wasnt happy that I was refusing the epidural but oh well, I know I dont need it.  That was it, now we just wait until Monday 8:30am.  I cant eat or drink after midnight on Sunday but no bowel flush (yay.) 

End of another day.  Two shakes and a little dinner.  Sounds like the title of a porno! HA!  Ok, but seriously I'm not doing too badly.  I feel...good, lighter and maybe slightly less gassy.  HUNGRY fer sure!  All the damn time.....I chase it away with water, popsicles, more water....and when I absolutely cant stand it, half of a Atkins bar.  My breath has gotten to the point that now I can smell it. HOLY CRAP. Bad. I chew gum endlessly.  I see gum as my transfer addiction.  And I'm cool with that. 

Pulled all the clothes out of the attic today. Wow. More stuff than I remember.  Its hilarious, I have the same pair of jeans in 4 different sizes.  I really loved the cut.  I like a low rise, dark rinse with stretch and a boot cut.  I dunno, they have always been the most comfy.  I never bought any in the size I am now, hmmmm.  I have probably 12 pairs of shorts/pants/jeans in size 22 but I only wear about half.  In size 20 I found more than 25 pairs, I stayed this size for a longer period of time.  There are 7 pairs of size 18, almost all of them look brand new.  Nine size 16's, some of these are skirts, which I stopped wearing because of my treetrunk legs.  I also have a huge number of workout outfits in various sizes.  Thats alot of damn pants isnt it?  HA! As for shirts, well, most of them are t-shirts in Larges and XL that are not in the best shape.  So I spent the day arranging my dressers...top drawers with the biggest clothes, lower drawers have smaller.  I also found 15 pairs of sweet shoes that I had collected from when I was my smallest.  I can barely get my feet in most of them! HA! I'm hoping I'll get some use out of them soon. ITS SO DAMN EXCITING!!!! 

Well, I've managed to live through another day of liquids.  Vanilla for breakfast and vanilla for lunch.  I also ate an Atkins candy bar today, well only half at a time.  The one thing I am noticing is that I'm consuming more popsicles every day.  I bet I've eaten enough to fill a freezer by now.  I am definately getting all of my water (plus fiber) because I pee like every fifteen minutes and its completely colorless. Imagine that.  For dinner I had 4 oz of lunchmeat (AGAIN!) and mixed veggies (AGAIN!) MmmmMmmm.....vomit.  It isnt the food per se, its the monotony. 

Today I yelled at a perfectly nice person for no reason too.  The camp director asked me to bring in a childs birth cert. because I had forgotten to do it last week. I freaked. I am not a person who freaks. At least unless its warranted. I snapped and growled for like 10 minutes until I realized what I was doing and then had a complete nervous breakdown. I begged her to forgive me and started crying. WTF?! I left quickly cause other parents were showing up and I felt like an ass. I told my old man when I got home and he blamed it on hormones. Uh, possible I guess.  I'm chewing gum like my life depends on it, I just buy 2 packs at a time now. I also only chew each piece until the sweet is gone, spit it out, start another. HA! My jaw has never been in better shape!