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A darling man named Jim from Pittsburgh, PA posted the following in response to someone who'd been told that all the postops a friend knew had gained back the weight.  She'd posted looking for sage advice in how to handle the situation.  Here's Jim's comments:

The amount of "experts" out there on this surgery who have never had it is staggering.
I've developed canned answers over the last year:

1) "Everyone who gets this surgery dies in 10 years."
Really???  I'll have to find my friend Tim who had this surgery 15 years ago and drive a stake through his heart then, because he is obviously undead.

2) "It's just a tool, not a magic bullet!" 
Yeah, thanks.  I think I figured that out one year and 190 pounds ago. 

3) "So and so had it and gained all the weight back." 
Wow, they must have really tried hard to do that.  Fortunately, I don't have the underlying psychological issues that goes along with the small percentage of people that have that issue.

4) "Don't you miss eating like a normal person?"
An extremely small price to pay being able to look and feel like a normal person.  And with few exceptions, I DO eat like a normal person, only smaller amounts.

5) "Everyone I know who had this surgery regrets it and / or is sick from it."
Then you need to get out more, because that is an extremely small minority of people who get this surgery.

6) "You took the easy way out."
No, staying fat and dying young would have been taking the easy way out.  And there is nothing wrong with taking the past of least resistance.  That's like telling a woman who had difficulties giving birth that she took the easy way out having a C-section.  Or like telling a cancer patient that they took the easy way out by getting chemo.

7) "If you would have just quit eating, you wouldn't have gotten so fat and needed this surgery."
And if you would just quit talking, less people would think you are an ignorant a$$hole.  The best thing was that this was told to me by a smoker who had tried to quit and failed at least five times. Ah, sweet irony.

I've learned that the worst thing about ignorance is its insistence.

I've started doing angel duty for folks having their surgery....  If you find someone who is willing to be your angel, there are several bits of information you should pass on to them to make their job easier!  Here's a list!

1) FULL name (not just your first name as they need the full name to ask for your room at the hospital)
2) mailing address
3) your home phone and/or cell phone numbers
4) the hospital name, address and phone number
5) Date of surgery
6) ype of surgery (lap or open, lapband, RNY, etc)
7) name and cell phone number for your spouse, SO, or someone who will be with you during/after surgery so that there is someone to speak to when you are out cold or feeling groovy from pain meds
8) your email address

These are just the bare minimums!  It is hard for an angel to do a good job without the necessary information.  I just recently did angel duty for a new friend.  I had her hospital info, but no home info.  So, once she went home from the hospital, it was impossible to get in touch with her to see how she was doing! 

I'm happy to do angel duty for anyone who needs an angel.  Just PM me with your info!

My my my how time flies!  I was just realizing that in about six weeks, I will be celebrating my one year surgiversary!  Tomorrow (7/13) is the one year anniversary of my first consult with my bariatric surgeon and Aug 29th is my surgiversary...  When I saw Dr. Stickler for the very first time, I was on 8 or 9 different medications and felt like CRAP!  Now, I am off of all of those but my thyroid med which I will take for life.  The only other pills I take are my vitamins and stool softeners.  I take the following:

morning and evening
1 Sam's Club generic Centrum multivitamin with iron
1 dose (2 tablets per dose) of calcium citrate/vitamin D (630 calcium/400 iu D)
500 mgs magnesium (to help with constipation issues)

Then, I also take 2 tablets of vitamin D that are 400 iu each at another time during the day to help with my vitamin D deficiency (mine was single digits at 6 mos postop and "normal" is anything 25 or higher).  At bedtime, I also take 4 generic Colace (get those at Sam's Club too--400 in the bottle for less than $6!) to combat the constipation.  On occasion even that isn't enough and i have to take more stool softener OR take a laxative.  Before surgery, the pain meds I was on for my back caused constipation and my PCP had me taking a Correctol every night at bedtime.  I think I sort of depend on the help now as even without the pain meds, I still battle the constipation and must keep on top of it DAILY.  I am adding some fiber pills to the mix as well to try and stay ahead of the game here.  I've never gotten so constipated that I was impacted and I do NOT want to get there! 

I spend much less per month on my vitamins and stool softeners than I spent in just COPAYS on my medications before surgery.  So, though some folks say that you don't spend less on groceries because you have to buy vitamins, that is not the case here!  I do spend less on groceries AND I spend less on medications, so I'm saving money here.  Hopefully, once my clothing size levels out, I can invest some of that savings into a new wardrobe!  LOL   

I started my journey in a size 4X.  I wore those same size 4X items till I'd lost over 110 pounds.  By then, I couldn't keep them up anymore and the shirts looked like dresses.  But, due to financial limitations, I couldn't just go buy more in smaller sizes.  SO, I turned to my OH friends and was blessed to receive several boxes of clothing in sizes ranging from 24 to 28.  And, finally, I was able to truly see the weight I'd lost when I stood in front of the mirror in clothing that fit me properly!  That was when I was a 28 or 30.  Some of the stuff I got didn't fit me yet, but it was only a matter of time.  I cleaned out the closets and hung up all these new (to me) items so that I could get to them and enjoy them. 

Fast forward from then (Feb 07) to about late April, early May 07.  I was shrinking out of even the 24s!  I could put them on and wear them, but I went around pulling my pants up all day long.  It took me so long to lose those 2 sizes to get to the 24s that I didn't think I'd drop any more any time soon.  Then, all of a sudden the 24s were too danged big and I realized it was time for 22s.  But, I didn't have ANY!!  So, back to looking for clothes again!  Now, finally, I have rounded up enough 20s and 22s that I felt comfortable cleaning out all those 24 through 28s and passing them on.  Why couldn't I do it sooner?  They didn't fit and I wasn't wearing them anymore.  Why was I hanging on to them????  LOL 

So, last night I wen through the whole closet item by item.  I tried on 50 different things to see how they fit or didn't fit.  I pulled out some of my 3X/4X stuff that I had kept because they were favorite items and stupid me had thought that there was no way I'd lose enough that they'd look sloppy big on me.  WRONG!  I tried on my favorite blazer last night and it looked like a circus tent on me!  I wrapped the middle around to both sides.  The excess fabric under the arms on the side was hilariously large!  And, now I have to accept that those are HISTORY for me.  But, I have a dear friend who wears almost that exact size and I'll give them to her.  Perhaps I'll still get to see her enjoy them! 

I sorted out 3 large boxes of pants/capris.  One box was mostly 28s with just a few 26s (gotta have one or two pairs for when the next person begins to shrink down too!).  The next box was mostly 26s with just a few 24s, and then the last box was mostly 22s and some 24s.  These 22s were things that were too tapered in the leg or were low-rise/hipster stuff that I have found just does NOT look appealing on an ass this large!  LOL  There is no sense in me keeping them and sitting on them when I'll not wear them and someone else CAN!  So, out they are going.  I got those boxes packed, taped, and ready for mailing labels and posted them on the clothing exchange.  While the 4X stuff I posted moved at a snail's pace, I've had several requests for all 3 of those boxes in the first 12 hours after I posted them!  They won't be here for long!

The moral of this story??  If it doesn't fit, don't keep it!  Now I am not gong to lie.  I did keep a pair of size 24 pants that I liked--ONE pair.  Why?  While I hope and pray that I NEVER regain to that point again, I plan to keep at least one pair of 24s, one pair of 22s, etc till I see where I land at the end of this journey and how long I am able to stay there.  If I am able to maintain successfully for a while, I may let go of them.  BUT, it is too early to know!  I'm doing great.  I've already surpassed my own thoughts of where my journey would draw to an end and the weight would stop coming off.  Will I make it to 175?  Who the heck knows.  Am I trying to get there?  You bet your ass!  And I will fight tooth and nail to stay there when I get there...

Hi all!
We all remember that nerve-filled weekend before our surgery...  What will I pack?  What if I forget something?  Who's going to feed the dog?  Hope my ride shows up on time...  AND, then there are those anxious feelings that so many folks have regarding the actual surgery.  Well, I'm here today as an  for BlkButterfly who will be having a lap RNY on Monday in South Carolina.  Let's all show some love to this soon-to-be-loser during these last few stressful pre-op days.  Please visit her surgery support page at
http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/status.php? N=G1180829527
and let her know we're here for her--both now and after the surgery!

Hugs,
Lea

When I started my journey, my BMI was 64.2.  Anything over 40 usually qualifies a person for WLS.  Mine was a no-brainer for my insurance company, especially when combined with high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and being a prime candidate for diabetes, stroke, and heart attack due to my family history.  So, here I am 9 months later....  I've lost 156 pounds, over 120 inches, and my BMI is FINALLY below 40.  As of today, when I weighed in at 254, it is 39.8 which takes me,if I remember correctly, from being "morbidly obese" to just plain old "obese."  And, for whatever reason, my long stall has broken and the weight is coming off again--about 7 pounds in the last 5 days!

Now that I am 148 pounds lighter, I am able to do sooooo much more.  I mow my own yard with a push mower--around 3 acres.  I walk more.  I actually DO chores I used to depend on my daughters to do.  I exercise and actually enjoy it and look forward to it. 

But, I am also noticing that I expect more--of myself AND those around me.  Things I used to do before I lost the weight draw criticism from me when done by others.  I'm talking about when my hubby will call someone to do something for him that is right within the same room where he is at and he just has to get up and do it for himself.  When I was sick all the time and less able, I did the same thing.  But, now I do it myself and I expect him (and our girls) to do the same.  Why does it bother me now but didn't when it was me doing the asking?  Why do I see it as just plain old lazy out of him when for me it was a real help?  Is it just that old saying "What is good for the goose is good for the gander..."??????

I'm very thrilled with my progress to date.  My surgery was 9 months ago and I've lost 148 pounds and 120 inches.  Those numbers simply astound me when I look at them.  And, as I drop clothing sizes without having lost a bunch more weight, I know that I'm toning and compacting some of what is still left of me.  It is a great feeling!  I'm now in size 22 and 24 clothing, having shrunk down from 36W clothing.  And, I've decided to start looking at clothing patterns and start thinking about making some of my clothes once again.  I'll have to replace my old Kenmore machine as it isn't up to the task, but I look forward to making my own clothes again!

I was a 4X for so many years that I never really thought about "fashion" as there just is not a whole lot of "fashion" available in that size bracket.  Well, when I started cleaning out closets and drawers to pass on all those size 4X clothing, I realized that I was a CLOTHES HORSE!  I have already shipped off 150 pounds of clothing and still have more here to go!  I must have owned almost 40 pairs of slacks, 10 or 15 different skirts, dresses, vests, etc and the shirts and blouses--OMG!  I bought all of my clothes except my bras and panties through Lane Bryant and Roaman's catalogs.  You know those are not cheap.  I bet I had $10,000 accumulated here and as I had so many, nothing got worn a whole lot.  I get great feedback from the people I send stuff to!  LOL 

I am happy to be able to pass these items on especially since they are such a hard to find size when you really are a 4X, not just a 3X person who likes roomy clothing....  And, now that I am starting to go through my 26/28 stuff (that I got from so many great OH friends!), I am still happy to pass these on to others who I know will appreciate them and wear them in their journey towards a smaller, healthier life. 

It seems I have always got something up for grabs on the clothing exchange...  Check it out at http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/clothingexchange/  And, don't forget to share some of your own wealth in those too big clothes you may still have hiding in your closets and drawers!

I've been doing support groups of one kind or another for almost 10 years now.  Here's a few things I've learned in that time....

Find a free meeting site.  Here's some places to look for that:
community organizations such as the Lion's Club, Moose Club, Masonic Lodges, etc.
YMCA
local fire departments
schools (public or private) as well as school board offices (ask about the room where they hold school board meetings!)
after school program sites
churches (even if it isn't YOUR church!)
libraries--including school libraries
hospitals and home health care agencies
clinics
Granges
Dr's offices--they often have conference rooms or rooms they use for public presentations
union halls
some restaurants have meeting rooms, but often expect everyone to at least order coffee
some local shopping malls have meeting rooms available

We meet in the multipurpose room at our hospital.  It is free and is set up with tables and chairs to seat probably 50 people very easily.  We can use just one side if we like to make the group closer to each other...

THEN, contact all local newspapers and ask if they  print meeting notices for free for local groups.  If so, get an email address that you can send the notices to for inclusion in the paper.  This way you can send your monthly meeting notices to all papers with just one email message!

Try to pick a day that won't change--2nd Tuesday, 3rd Thursday, etc.  That way even though the actual DATE changes, the day never does.  Folks will remember easier that way.

Make up a flyer about the new group starting up and post it on area bulletin boards, at gas stations, post offices, etc--anywhere they'll let you put one up.  Put your phone number AND email on there if you can.  Some folks will be shy about inquiring and may be more comfy sending you an email than calling and speaking to you.  Consider making the little tear off pieces across the bottom so folks walk away with the number without having to dig out a pen and paper.

Notify ALL area doctors and hospitals.  Don't forget about orthopedists and such who also see overweight patients.  Also include the psychologists/psychiatrists.  Just about ANY doctor sees overweight patients some of the time!  Provide a copy of your flier that they can copy and give to interested patients.

Keep fliers in your car!  You never know when you'll be out and find a new bulletin board OR meet someone who is interested in attending!  Be prepared!

I guess it is just part of the weight loss journey--cleaning out the closets...  But, for me it is a biggie.  I've been in size 4X for probably more than 15 years and, as I've moved 3 times in those 15 years, I had NOTHING left that was smaller than a 4X because I had no thoughts that I'd ever see a smaller size again and got rid of them all as I moved. 

Then, early this year, I got clothing in sizes that fit me--size 26, not 4X.  This meant that the closet was still full of 4X clothes but none of them fit me.  And, the newer clothes were spending time piled in laundry baskets or folded up and stored in boxes.  WHY??  Perhaps it was because I was hesitant to let go of the old and familiar clothing??

SO, I began posting things on the clothing exchange (http://obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/members/clothingexchange/) here on Obesity Help.  I got many of my newer clothes through the exchange, so it seemed only fair to pass on my older stuff through there too!  I've cleaned out most of two closets now and shipped off numerous boxes of 4X clothing to other WLS folks.  It feels good dropping those boxes at the post office.  It feels even better hearing from the person who got the clothing and how good it makes them feel to have some clothes to choose from finally.  I can't say enough about how rewarding an experience it has been to participate in the clothing exchange.  Please consider posting some of the clothing that you have shrank out of so that others can get some use out of them!