Alayna A.

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It's amazing that it has almost been 2 years already. Time really flies! I am still floating within a few pounds of 100lbs down from my initial weight. I have found it difficult for my mind to adjust to the new me. I haven't really done much in the way of clothes shopping in the past 2 years. I actually find myself hating to clothes shop. This past weekend I went to the mall to find something to wear for my engagement pictures that we took on Sunday and was asking the sales people questions about a sweater and told them that I was fashionably challeneged. They decided to put together some outfits for me, accessories and all. I trashed their dressing room but what the found for me was great and I really loved how it all looked. I had them take pics of me on my cell phone so I could see what it looked like. I really can't see myself when I look in the mirror the way others see me. I ended up booking a 2 hour engagement picture session because I knew I would want a lot of pictures so I could see what I looked like and so I could change outifits a few times. I absolutely love how they turned out and it has been a great help in seeing myself the way others see me.

If anyone is interested in seeing my engagement pictures they are on my photographer's blog at renderphotography.blogspot.com.

I finally started working out again also. I have another photo shoot coming up that I wanted to try and boost my confidence for and maybe lift my butt a little bit before it. I had visited my shrink at the bariatric clinic and he told me to go buy clothes because I wasn't even wearing my own, I had been raiding my fiance's clothes. I love that I can go in and have other people put outfits together for me. That makes it fun instead of overwhelming and stressful.

140     It's been a little while, couple of weeks anyways. I am holding steady right around 140lbs. Better than where I was floating around for the longest time, 145. I started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred last Tuesday. Holy cow she works you hard in 20 mins! I did the first level for 4 days and now I have done the 2nd level for 2 days. I am really liking this program. I feel like I have worked REALLY hard in 20 mins and am feeling a lot stronger and leaner.

I finally found a protein shake I like, just made it tonight. 3/4 Cup milk, scoop chocolate Unjury protein powder, 1 tbsp instant coffee, and a tsp of mocha powder. MMM MMM it is nummy and didn't make too much. Oh yeah, and about 7-8 ice cubes. Usually whenever I try to make a shake I use a cup of milk and end up making way too much, like 2 servings.

My 10yr HS reunion is next month, I am very excited. Shopping for what to wear should be fun too! LOL

140.4    One week after my 18 month follow up and things couldn't be better. I am doing awesome on my vitamins. Still kind of suck with calcium but I am getting it in intermittantly. Gotta do better at that. One thing that I have done that helps my calcium is I haven't had any pop. Quit cold turkey and switched to water and green tea.

I am down 3lbs, clothes are fitting better already and I worked out yesterday! I am definitely feeling better. I have been doing an awesome job getting my protein in. We had made some chicken chimichangas this past weekend, refried beans and shredded chicken among other ingredients=lots of protein in one! Nummy!

I am really glad I have such frequent follow ups with my clinic. They really help keep me on track. I stray a little after a while and I don't know what it is, maybe it's the way things are said or something, but it helps. I know the things they tell me, but for some reason it all seems so much more doable after I have been there. It's hard to explain but I really like it. I am about to hit the 100lb mark. I hit it once, but didn't stay there long. I think I ate to celebrate :(

I had floated around the 145 mark for so long, for the past year. I would much rather float around the 135 mark I think. We're all human and have times in our lives where we're not spot on with working out, eating right and getting our vitamins in, can't beat ourselves up about it, just gotta get back to what's good for us and makes us feel good.

143.2     I had my 18 month follow up yesterday. Most of my labs are good. My zinc is a little low so she is having me do 50mg zinc 1/day for the next 6 months to get it back up again. It's not super low, just a little but it falls slow and goes back up really slow I guess. My multi-vitamin doesn't have iron in it so I need to do better at taking a vitron c every day. My hemoglobin is fine, but my ferritin, iron stores, are low. They were low before surgery too. My B12 was around 436 and I was 2 weeks away from giving myself another shot. >400 is good. So she wanted me to either go to a shot 2x a month or supplement with some sublinguals every other day when my shot is 2 weeks away or so. I opted for the sublinguals because for some reason lately it's been really hard to give myself my shot. I pull my hand back and lower it to just before plunging in about 20 times before I can actually do it. I end up doing it, it's just been harder to do lately for some reason.

I am down a pound since my 1yr appt. So I am maintaining my weight pretty good. Something I have never been able to do! This is amazing to me.

I have had a hard time getting motivated to workout, been feeling depressed. I have suffered from depression in the past and recognize the signs. I know exercise would and will help the mood but I can't bring myself to do anything. So yesterday we weighed the pros and cons of a few different anti-depressants and she prescribed me some welbutrin. I don't think that is one I have ever been on before. It also helps a number of other things. I forgot to ask her for a list of shrinks...will have to try to remember to do that in 6 weeks when I go back to follow up about the welbutrin.

I am really good with my protein for breakfast and dinner, I always have the same thing. However I pretty much suck at lunch. I really need to take the time to find some new recipes to try that are high in protein. I found a baked chimichanga recipe last night that I am going to try.

So for lunch today it's a tuna sandwhich on whole wheat bread, so I should definitely hit 60-70g protein today. 

I picked up my zinc and B12 sublinguals and already have my iron. Day 1 of these added things are going good. I had this surgery so I could be healthy, have more energy, keep up with my niece and nephew, and did I mention...BE HEALTHY!! So I need to live that way! I need to do what is best for me and my body.

I am going to take my vitamins, because I want to be healthy.

I am going to get in my protein and make better choices, because I want to be healthy.

I am going to make better beverage choices, because I want to be healthy.

Not because I am told I should or have to, but because I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!!!

I am definitely not perfect. i have done damn good keeping my weight off thus far, but it hasn't been easy. Easier than if I didn't have my tool I am sure,but not easy. This is an ongoing learning process, this is an ongoing endeavor. You don't lose the weight and then you're done. This is for life. I knew this going in and I have known this all along. I just wanted to reiterate it for anyone that might be reading this if you're thinking about surgery.

Despite any struggles, difficulties, etc. There is not ONE MOMENT I have ever regretted having this surgery. This is the best thing I have ever done for myself, my health and my future.

Not everyone can be perfect with their eating and exercise 100% of the time, everyone has times in their lives, times during the year where they're not as good. You can't beat yourself up, just get back in the game. The game isn't over, it keeps going, you've gotta jump right back in.

145.4     I looked back at my past weight on my last birthday and I am down 2lbs since last year. WOO HOO! That is awesome! I didn't gain and I wasn't really trying to lose, just maintaining and doing my thing. I am not sure I have ever kept a weight for an entire year. This is truly amazing. I know I would not have been able to maintain this without the help of my tool. I have quite the sweet tooth that is very hard for me to control. My tool really helps me control it since I will get sick if I have too much, so it keeps me within a reasonable moderate amount instead of me over-doing it. Or when I am wanting sweets it sends me to the strawberries instead of the sugary stuff because I will be able to enjoy more for longer than just a sampling of something sugary. I love my tool. :)

145.4     I am still moving my body...I ran 2x last week, went for a walk on Thursday, went scuba diving and did some laps on Friday morning, followed up with an hour and a half walk that afternoon. On Saturday we went for a 13 mile bike ride to and around Medicine Lake and back. Then I went scuba diving last night again. I have been keeping pretty active and eating ok.

Getting much much better with my vitamins again. Still not perfect, but much better than I had been for a little bit. I had been perfect for my first year out and then when my dietitian wanted me to change it up at my one year I struggled getting into a routine with what I needed to take. It's getting there though. I have found I do like the cherry lozenges for calcium from bariatric advantage. Or the citrical petites.

I have pretty much maintained this weight range, actually down a few pounds over the past year. I am 17 mos out, so almost a year and a half. I will be 28yrs old on Thursday.

I never would have put on a wet suit and attempted to scuba dive before surgery. I love being as active as I am now. It feels so good to get out there and do things.

143.6     A friend of mine lent me his Wii and Wii Fit recently. I haven't spent much time on it yet, but have done the body tests 2 days in a row now. It should be interesting to see where that goes. I did however, finally find the motivation and energy to go to the gym and hop on the treadmill today. I am not as out of shape as I was expecting I would be. I was quite surprised and relieved. I am running a 5K on May 10th and only have a month and a half to train for it. My sister has gotten quite the head start with training. I ended up running for 30 mins today non-stop after a 5min walk to warm up. I followed it up with a 5min walk cool down. I ran 2.5miles :) That 5K in May should be no problem! I can't wait! I haven't run since last October when I did a 5K in Delano with a friend and my fiance.

145    I finally had time this past weekend while at my future in-laws' cabin to read the latest OH magazine cover to cover. What a great wealth of information and ideas in there. As I stated in my last blog I have been struggling, about a 3lb struggle. There was a part in the magazine that said to adopt the mantra "It's what I do." I have been saying this to myself all day. I took my multi-vitamin, and my calcium this morning while saying to myself "it's what I do." I chose healthy options and skipped the sweets at the grocery store while telling myself "it's what I do." I didn't get myself to the gym saying that today, but I did make steps in the right direction.

I am signed up for a 5K on May 10th, so training needed to start last week or the week before. I need to get my butt moving!! It's what I do.

I am really glad I got a subscription to that magazine, it's a keeper :)

145.2     The scale has crept up a few pounds :( It's my own fault. The only exercise I have been doing is my yoga class 2x a week. That's not enough. I also have been doing some mindless eating and not really keeping track. All things that lead to not being successful in this journey. I am glad I recognize these things and can correct them before I get too out of hand. 4lb gain is something I can combat and handle. I tend to float around the 141-143 range.

I have decided to sign up for the Race for the Cure on Mothers' Day 5/10/09 5K. The last 5K I ran was in October and I BARELY trained at all for it. Not this time, nope, I am going to start with the Couch to 5K and see where I am at physically right now, I am hoping I will be able to start a couple of weeks into the program instead of right at day 1. I do have a pretty physically demanding job, so I am hoping I am not too out of shape. Yoga should help too.

I used to be great at my vitamins, but I have really sucked lately. I have to figure out ways that work for me to remember. I like my citrical petites, those are nice. I also found a multivitamin I can break in half and take no problem. I just need to find a way to always have them with me and remember to take them. It's amazing how you can do so good with something for so long and really have it a habit and then all of a sudden you lose track.

This is definitely a life-long battle against obesity. Choices every day, all day. I am choosing to win the battle,

141.2     Things are going well. I have been maintaining right around this number for many months now. I am taking yoga this semester in college and am very excited for this. I haven't been working out and I can tell. I don't feel as strong and don't have as much enery or endurance. I was doing great with my vitamins for a little while once I discovered I can take the citrical petites no problem. Then for some reason I totally fell off of the wagon on vitamins, even my multi's which I have never had a problem remembering to take. I am back into a routine though now. That's the important part, jumping back on and not kicking myself too much. We're all human, just have to make sure I get back on track quick. I picked up some Wal-Mart brand multi-vitamins for 50yr olds+. They are higher potency and don't have iron. I read somewhere once that iron with your multi can block absorption of some of the things in your multi. I have vitron C, it's a matter of remembering to take that one....Grr....I can and will get back into a routine of this.

I am back in school for the Spring Semester. Classes started yesterday. I will be quite busy and waking up early and staying up late. I will be very glad for my yoga class I think. I also have Biology and Math. I am also trying to plan a wedding during all of this!

The other day my fiance and I were at Target and I was trying on some new tops. He grabbed one off of the rack by the fitting rooms and said "look honey, this one looks warm" I said "uh huh" and he put it back on the rack and asked me "what does 20-22W mean?" I got the enjoyment of saying "what I used to wear" That was pretty cool. He's known and loved me since I was that size. The fitting room attendant looked at me for a few moments and finally said "wow, you look great!" I picked up some medium vests and some medium shirts and a juniors sweatshirt in a large. Today I went back for some super cute Mary Janes, no longer do I have to be limited to wide width shoes!! YAY!

Things I have learned....

No matter what size you are, where you came from, what size you've been, you can have insecurities.

No matter who you are, where you've come from, whether or not you've had surgery, whether you've been thin your whole life or heavy, you can have difficulty staying on the right path, eating right and exercising and drinking water. It's a never ending process.