aphephobicfriend
Keep the weight off, advanced version
Sep 23, 2013
So, I'm here for another one of my sporatic posts. I am 4 1/2 years out from my sleeve/emergency fix to my band, about 5 years out from starting the whole process, and 9 months out from my tummy tuck. I have been exercising without my spanx, because it felt so normal I forgot... but I will probably grab them as I remember, especially if I want to do longer sessions.
Life wise, I am still in Gainesville, Florida. I graduated from law school, studied for three months, and then took the bar. I then moved in with a family from my church to begin my elaborate waiting process for the results. Yesterday, I found out that I passed.
I'm really proud of myself in that I managed to gain only a negligible amount of weight while studying 10+ hours a day. And really, almost all the weight I gained was solid muscle because I was working out 5-7 days a week for 1-3 hours a day (I listened to my lectures while at the gym, which was the only reason I 1. survived the bar 2. didn't gain 20 pounds in the process. So, that was pretty epic.
I'm living on the generosity of people around me and my parents now, so I put off joining a gym for awhile, and I have been eating whatever is being cooked mostly. I've been trying to focus on still getting vegetables in, but of course its hard to say no to tasty right there ready for you food. More than anything though, my undoing has been a combination of not really having much to do during the days (sedentary life), having access to a ton of sweets (which were always my downfall), and getting off my ADD meds which help me stay active, focused, productive, and goal oriented.
So, last week I decided to start by joining the YMCA close to home. The machines are pretty dinky and they don't have the options that I had at southwest rec (UF's gym) but I love how close it is, and it was very cheap. Today, I am going to fast to jump start my calorie restricting and the return to "stomach, you're not the boss of me" eating. I haven't really noticed the weight gain too much in my clothing, but I have seen it in my extremities. I'd say I put on another 5 pounds, making me dangerously close to the panic-mode 190 number.
Honestly, this is going to be much harder. I have never been good at resisting sweets, ever. I love them. I could eat them all the time. And having them in the house, well, yeah. Also, I cook dinner for the family I live with, and my boyfriend often eats with us, so its been harder for me to bow out and cook my own food. It's also just an incredibly stressful time for me in life, waiting to hear back about jobs, not being sure about whether I can hack it, etc. So, I'm not freaking out or really upset with myself, but I do want to take back my body and keep it from gaining more weight. I've worked too long and too hard to get slack now.
One major difference of now than before when I used to be doing all this, is that I'm in a relationship and devote a lot of time to being together. I tried once to calorie restrict when I was with Don, and I was so cranky I just couldn't handle it. It was also weird because I asked him yesterday if he found himself less attracted to me, and he said, "No. I've been watching for it, and I noticed you had gained weight, but I'm not less attracted to you because of it." On the one hand, this was really nice, reassuring, and honest. On the other hand I was thinking, "I haven't gained that much weight, and he's noticing?" (He is very unobservant generally). It was just a little sobering that two or three pounds would be noticeable.
So, that's the current fight and the current plan. Just wanted to get it down somewhere to help me stick to it in the coming weeks.
Frances
