Sally,
I am so sorry you have so much pain. I wish that I could carry some of that burden for you. Keep the faith, I know right now that is near impossible, but you have already taken the first step to a new you. Some day (hopefully by next year at the latest) these horrible days will be nothing but a painful memory of a past you, and you will be able to look forward again.
May God give you the peace and strength you need to continue on your journey
Grace and Peace
Tami