PlumpKitty

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I think people focusing too heavily on their weight loss numbers are in risk of  sabatoging their chances of getting to goal. Focus on the life long commitment, making new good habits, enjoying the food you eat and being satified with the amounts prescribed by your nutritionalist and you will succeed. If you make it to goal in 9 months but don't bother making new healthy habits that you enjoy, its probably a good idea not to throw away your big clothes too quickly. Making it to goal in 1 or 3 years is the same if you can maintain it for life. Making it to a healthy weight that isnt close to goal is often enough for people. Some people are unrealistic in their goal weight which proabably accounts for some "failures". Personally I have no interest in gyms or daily exercise other than walking and staying busy. I made my goals based on my prefered lifestyle :)  
Knowing that WLS is in no way fool proof and that you actually have to work it for life is a great start to getting to your best weight :)

May as well do my what Easter means to me post op (no flaming either :P)

Well, I am an atheist. I attended church for many years on my own against my parents wishes since it was a penecostal church. I loved going to church. My atheism is not about condeming religion or religious people. I simply have no belief that God exists and I'm ok with it :) I still love going to church when the occaision arises and I still read from the bible though rarely. Religion teaches a lot about community and being part of a group focused on the same cause. In the case of Christianity that cause is usually following Jesus's teachings and being a good person in his eyes. 

I also believe in community, fellowship and being a good person. The hardest part about being an atheist (other than some people looking down on us and thinking we're works of the devil) is we have no celebration events. Everyone needs a holiday and a change. Everyone needs something to look forward to and dream of. I have never stopped celebrating the holidays I grew up with and have no intentions of ever doing so. I decorate and give presents on Christmas, Valentines Day, and Easter. I decorate and celebrate Canada day, Halloween and thanksgiving too. Birthdays simply must have presents and special activities. Basically I love any opportunity to get togther with friends and family. 

Its sad we live in a world that is so busy we only think of honouring our friends and family with celebration and gifts becuase of the calendar date. I am so envious of families that get together for Saturday or Sunday dinner laughing, talking and catching up on the week's events. When I was growing up just about everyone did this and now almost no one I know does :(

So here I am stealing a holiday from a religion I don't have and not even feeling the least bit guilty about it :) I sent my niece in Ontario a box filled with Winnie the Pooh items which she loves. I took my nephews and niece who live locally some candies and toys yesterday. My whole life I have heard people grumble about the commercialism of holidays but to me giving gifts is a great way to let people know you love them, think about them and appreciate them. When they use that gift in my absence I know they think about "Auntie Theresa," even years later after the gift is gone they still remember and thank me :) 

Easter and holidays in general are about taking time to show my friends and family I love them just in case I didn't do a good enough job every other day of the year :)

Happy Easter Everyone

I got a call today from a very long time close friend of my hubbies family. She is 60 years old and has been battling obesity for decades. She has had breast cancer and lymph-node cancer as well as tumors. In fact she was scheduled to be given gastric bypass 15 years ago and when the surgeon opened her up he found 41 pounds of tumors in her tummy. She went home lighter but without the bypass. She is treated for clinical depression and is also diabetic on oral meds as well as 4 shots of insulin a day. It seems like this poor woman has battled it all and won except obesity. She is so strong and smart with great wisdom that truly only comes with age and she called me asking for advice.

She came right out and asked me if I thought she should have the operation. I really hate answering that question to a total stranger but someone you know and love? Not a fun place to be. I skirted around the question by continuously asking her questions like:
"can you accept the chance of 1/300 of dying?"
"can you trade in your current problems for the whole new set of problems that come with surgery"
"how long do you think you can live like this?"

We got into the topics of over eating, self loathing, chronic dieting, diabetes and a lot more. I told her what I've learned since having surgery and left her with the advice to try not drinking with any meals for a whole week. Like I did, she drinks buckets with her meals flushing away her food as she's eating it allowing her to eat and eat without feeling full and when fullness comes it isn't accompanied by satisfaction. Most of us life long food addicts barely chew or taste as we stuff more and more food in. I told her that the lack of fluids would force her to chew more to create saliva to swallow the food which in turn sends satisfaction messages to the brain. She's going to call me in a week and tell me how it went, I hope she can handle it.

So now I'm wondering did I cheat her? Did I give her false hope? Would I have wanted to hear someone say "YES get that operation asap!" if it were me asking? My logical side says I only gave her advice that she would have to follow post op and if she can’t hack it for a week how is she going to make it for lie? My compassionate side just sees a woman suffering and getting no relief. I can't imagine how guilty I would feel if I actually told someone it was a good idea to get RNY before they themselves had made a decision and they did it but had horrible complications, death, pain, infections etc.

I really do hope that she can stick to eating her meals without fluids and it works for her as I really don't know what to say if she calls back asking my opinion again and actually making me give it to her.

You know many people don't realize how much they expect medical advice to be readily available day and night. There really are places where that just isnt possible :( Canada is a wonderful country and I absolutely LOVE NewBrunswick, my home. Like living anywhere we have our drawbacks in my province and one being not enough doctors. Doctors can make much more money for much less work elsewhere and many leave for that very reason. Those who remain have roots and a personal investment in the people here.
My own GP I would decribe as nothing short of great; the first time I mentioned I was thinking about WLS she looked at me like I was crazy (well a different kind of crazy than my usual.) So going to your doc isn't always the key. A second opinion??? What is that? Doctors here are almost never taking new patients and certainly not patients who already have a qualified physician.
There are times when we as the experienced are required to give an opinion because its the right thing to do. I am often too free with my opinions and really work hard at reigning it in LOL. With the RNY I would say it was nothing short of miraculous for me and the dilema to give advice is often based on my own great success. I keep confusing myself more the more I think about this LOL I am silly :P

In my opinion fear is only controlling you when it is irrational. Having 20 dead bolts on your door on a farmhouse in Kansas is being controlled by fear whereas doing it in down town NewYork is simply being safe. I too am very rigid in my post op ways and have no real interest in letting up on that. I do incorporte tastes and textures I love into my diet to keep a strong grip on not feeling deprived. I have failed enough in the past to know my fears are not irrational and though I don't let them control me I do take into account the ways and whys Ive failed in the past. If you really do feel deprived try thinking of ways to enjoy yummy and healthy foods without going off of your regiment.

I told the shrink that I feared gaining weight post op and he seemed a little suprised by it. I said I have messed up enough in the past and known enough WL patients who failed to obviously worry that it won't work for me long term and that is my ultimate goal.

In my opinion everything Ive seen you do jen is totally on the awesome side. The fear of things that have hurt you in the past is normal and some would say healthy. If you feel your fear is hurting you or your progress then it may be time to let go of some of those issues. Maybe you are having a hormonal day (Ive been having lots lately) or maybe you have stumbled upon a new journey for you. Either way we're here in any way we can be :)

I keep reading Oh-ers words thinking to myself "Oh thats good I have to remember it!" and then I forget :( So this my seection to keep them in :)
"I knew I was fluffier than the other kids, but it never bothered me until (and I can laugh about this now) one day my cousin called me Miss Piggy.  I have no idea why that bothered me, I absolutely loved Miss Piggy, but it messed with me." 
by the lovely Teacake :)
"No one's ever asked me straight up if they should have it or not, but I have heard people saying "Oh, look at you!  I so wish I woulda had that done too."  They treat the surgery like it's a new haircut I just got!  That does annoy me.  This is a life thing, not a new shirt.  I wish people wouldn't take it so lightly.  :(  But hey, as long as I know what it's really all about and what I did it for, I am fine!"
by the sweet MelanieM 
"I've been writing out a divorce letter to my favorite foods and saying goodbye to them.  It's almost like they where the abusive spouse and I'm the battered wife.  I allowed myself to be controlled by something that was no good for me.  I think I "love" this unhealthy  food and can't live without it... and it turns out that I don't love this food as much as I really I hate myself!"
by the darling Hisdove
"These folks that come on the boards and use the ruse of being "Just honest and helpful" whilst very obviously being obnoxious-were just as obnoxious before the surgery. These are the folks that talk about how YOU have to change and how much THEY have changed their eating habits and they also go on about how YOU just don't want to hear the truth (which somehow they believe they KNOW-and YOU don't). What should alarm these folks is the fact that they HAVE NOT changed their emotional habits. Guess what? The overeating starts in the BRAIN-the emotions follow the act of overeating comes next.If you learn HOW to ask for help and HOW to publicly acknowledge your bad habits-you are a step head of where you were.
Your THINKING has to change-period. Your mind has to change in regards to how you approach food and eating AND-your mind needs to change in the ways you handle your EMOTIONS. I honestly think these same folks that come on and bash folks should be ALARMED and seek some help. I am not joking about this. If you are SO upset about someone's behavior that you cannot let it go and you are not comfortable until you have sunken your teeth into them-you NEED HELP."
by the insightful Therese_Marie

Finally after more than 10 years of gaining and losing, I weight less than my hubby again! In the time we've been together his weight has generally fluxuated by about 20 pounds, his healthy weight being 220 and his *fat* weight being 240. The first time I lost a lot of weight I got down to 205 pounds but at the time hubby was doing a full labour job and even with 5 big meals a day he was down to 190 pounds of lean muscle machine. 
Currently we have a digital scale and it actually will get confused when our weights are too close and tell us both the same weight like 225.7 each which is obviously pretty unlikely when it was doing this with every different weight day and night. So for about 2 weeks I have been forcing him on the scale everytime I weigh to see who is bigger. I am now under his weight enough so that it tells us each a different number every time :) I would maybe feel a little ashamed of being so happy about weighing less than my big, tall and strong hubby if I hadn't started out weighing 100 pounds more than him 6 months ago. I'm pretty much shameless now LOL. 
Now I am the smallest person in my house and I am going to make sure that NEVER changes again :)
Just thought I would share the "milestone" with you wonderful peeps :)

Noodleless dishes.. I have a few reasons for my personal choice:
* I cook my meals focusing on at least 1/2 protein so when I was on 4oz meals I made sure it was 2 - 4oz of protein. Now I generally eat 6 - 8oz meals and strive for 4oz of protein always. I have very little appetite and use all of my pouch space for the neccessities and since protein is the only thing the body can't make on its own I have to make sure I at least eat that every day. To be honest I could easily go days without eating now Im so not hungry. (if you don't eat enough protein your body steals it from your muscles contributing to feeling weak)

* I focus on food tasting GREAT and to be honest the noodles and bread really aren't the tasty part. I can only describe my past love affair with them as addiction because on their own they are simply tasteless and awful. The flavour is so intense with my meals now I really do feel super saited without the breads. I actually did try doing the 1/3 cooking method in the begining and made all pasta dishes with 1/3 cup meat, 1/3 cup sauce/veggies and 1/3 cup of noodles. I didn't find I enjoyed the noodles and often picked out the meat and veggies leaving behind the pasta.

* All of my over eating in the past included HIGH amounts of bread/noodles/corn/potatos so I can only assume that I have some attachment to them and am trying to sever it with abstinance for a couple of years. Once I have reached goal I will incorporate a couple of grains a day into my diet.

Most post op diets do not exclude breads and grains, including mine from my nutritionalist. This is simply a personal decision that works for me for now :)

Different weight classes have different issues before and after surgery. For me personally weight influenced MANY of my preop decisions. Things that other people would not think even know were issues persay. Here is a brief list of pre op decisions that revolved around my personal girth. 

* could no longer mow the lawn, maintain the general house cleaning and had a hard time with the stairs for a large home with 3 floors, so we sold literally everything and moved to a small flat apartment.
* would not go to social events for obvious reasons
* whether or not an establishment had seating and bathrooms that fit determined if I went
* had to buy all leather furniture due to bladder spills, girls know what I mean
* had to give up working
* had to do most shopping for clothing and household items online, all else was up to hubby to get
* had to buy a van as I had outgrown my car
* couldnt go for walks, bikerides or participate in my fave hobbies like antiquing, yard sales and shopping
* hubby had to do all of the housework and most of the cooking (ordering in)
* spent most of our excess money on food, mountains of it
* could only wear slip on shoes when I went out and actually wore flip flops all year round at one point
*out grew the sizes at all local plus sized clothing stores and could only wear the strechable clothing *ugg*
*couldnt take niece and nephew to the places I used to which was very hard on nephew since his parents are underprivledged
* I could NOT leave the apartment in the summer but for dire situations due to the heat
* I had to sleep with the windows cracked in the winter and the airconditioner on 24/7 all summer (and I live in Canada!)

Since having RNY in September I have done the following that I could not do before hand:
* went off diabetic, blood pressure and poly cystic ovarian medications
* bath and dry myself with no help at all!
* walk at night with hubby (we live on a HUGE hill and I could barely get up it after losing 50 pounds!) I can now get up that hill without holding onto him :) I've even gotten small enough we've walked in the daylight a few times without embarassment
* shopping on my own once or more a week
* wearing clothing that fits, looks nice and is comfortable
* back to doing 75% of the house work and 90% of the cooking
* enjoying not staying in bed all day 1/2 the time
* was able to go house shopping and actually buy a house! Moving next month :)
* tie my own shoes!!
* walk up stairs
* doing all of the little things on my own without injuring myself or needing someone to hold me/help me
* just having fun in general

My life didnt turn into something so exciting as to write a book about, but all I ever wanted was a simple life anyway. I am much happier in general and am enjoying post op life for as long as I can :) I may even take a vacation to someplace warm next year with my sis and bro in law :) 

I actually went back to school while in my heavy stages I was 250 pounds when I started in 1999 and was 270 pounds by graduation in 2003 though I actually lost about 150 pounds along the way and gained it back. It was horrible and I actually had to drop 2 classes due to the seats being too small. One of the worst moments in my fat life was the graduation ceramony. We lined up and had to walk about a 1/4 mile uphill across campus to the hall. I had to hold onto someone while walking and was practically in tears the whole way from pain. There was a huge gap in the procession in front of me because I could not keep up and the street was lined with people (family friends) watching this. This was pretty much where I started giving up.

Hiya Darling OH Peoples!!
I suppose *TA-DA!* would be appropriate. This week I did something I haven't been able to do in years. I went to a store picked out a pair of sneakers, sat on a bench and proceeded to remove my own shoes to try on the new ones. I repeated this process probably 15 times at 3 stores tying and untying over and over until I found a pair I liked. My current sneakers, I am ashamed to say, are not only velcro but I couldn't even go to the store to get them. I told hubby to get leather, velcro size 9 women's sneakers and he did without me. They fit well enough for me to wear though I really did feel like a complete loser in white ugly velcro sneakers. We discovered while taking this picture I can cross my legs so comfortably I didn't realize I was even doing it at first. Though I'm not looking my best here as this was just before our walk tonight, I love this picture :P
Anywho just thought I would share :)