LaurieBK
Sunday, Christmas Eve, 2006
Dec 23, 2006
It's only been a couple of weeks since I posted, but I'm happy to report that I am down 62 pounds now. Incredible! But I must admit that I keep wondering if my scale isn't just screwed up. I actually bought a new scale because I thought mine was broke. But it said the same, so I suppose I have to start believing it. I HONESTLY can't see it in my body, but I can feel it in my clothes and I can see some changes in my pictures. It does seem so surreal. I never thought it was possible. I've learned that this is truly all a head game. People who have gone through this struggle, whether it be a lifetime or just many years, seem to go through the same psychological difficulties. The short and long of it is that the weight loss just seems too good to be true. On a daily basis, I still wonder if this will really work for me. I also can't help wondering how long it will be before it is all back plus extra. I try really hard to combat this train of thought but it is easier said than done. One of my biggest struggles is trying to graciously accept compliments people give me without shrugging them off and changing the subject really fast. I honestly feel as though they may be sincere comments and not being said to only be nice. I hope all this gets better as my self confidence builds over the coming years.
I can honestly tell all those who are curious that I am honestly eating just about everything.......of course that means everything that is acceptable. No sweets and very limited bread. Bread just hurts and fills me up so fast so I avoid most of it. If I get a sandwich, like chicken or even a burger, I pull most of the bread off. I may take the first bite of it just to know what a real sandwich used to be like, but then for the most part I remove it. Then I am able to eat about half of the sandwich. But as far as the sweets, I was never really too hooked on them anyway. But I have been able to find great substitutes. Frozen fruit bars are great with only 30 calories and I actually found a fudge bar that packs 70 calories. It really satisfies the occasional mild sweet craving I experience. Another good source is sugar-free candies.......but be careful of them unless you want to spend a good amount of time in your bathroom!! LOL!! I allow myself one of those in a day......love those caramels! And of course, by now, everyone out there knows I have fallen off the wagon (sort of) and am drinking diet sodas). I just couldn't cut the water anymore. Still drink it, but let me tell you, I am much closer to my fluid intake goal now that I've added the diet beverages.
I suppose the most challenging part of life after surgery is the amount of food you can eat. Which isn't much. Which is how it is supposed to work. There have been a couple of times (twice last week), that I just pushed the limit and ended up vomitting after eating. I remember reading about the 'frothing' and vomitting people would do when they overate or ate something that didn't agree with them and I used to think it was so gross. Well, now it's my turn. I suppose that's why the docs impress upon you that this surgery isn't a cure but a super-great tool. The hard work is up to us. But that fact alone enables us to possess a real sense of pride in our tremendous accomplishment.
If you are out there still contemplating one of the weight loss precedures, you are already one step ahead of the game. Just the fact that you are reading this or any other profile shows that you are taking a healthy approach to the whole idea. Never take surgery lightly, most especially this surgery. Research and read until you think you've burned your retinas out! This is serious business and I don't think anyone can prepare you for what lies ahead. But I can honestly tell you this........I am to a point where I can tell you that I'm very happy that I took this step. And yes, I would do it all over again. I really feel that gastric bypass not only saved my life, but has added many good, quality years to it. I actually look forward to each day. I no longer fear future trips to my doctors and their dreaded scales. I actually take better care of myself......I plan to visit my GYN doc this spring for the first time in MANY years. If you are trying to decide about this surgery, don't let what others say tarnish your decision (whether that decision is 'yes' or 'no'). Never allow someone else to make a life changing choice for you. And never consider this surgery because someone else asks you to do it for them. You must learn to put yourself first and foremost, not the ideals others may have for you.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an even more wonderful New Year!
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Dec 06, 2006
I am also finding that I'm definitely one of the lucky ones when it comes to my surgery and recovery. Other than the anesthesia scare (which was really minor now in hindsight), I've had an uneventful recovery. My only problem is that I worry that I'm "breaking all the rules." I know that I'm not getting a lot of protein in, and another deadly sin -- I can't tolerate the multi-vitamins. I wonder if anyone else has had this problem, but they leave a terrible odor in my urine. I know, too much information, but it's really bad and I feel like it just hangs around me. I wonder if anyone else has had this problem???? And is there anything that can be done other than just not taking them? I'm hoping that I will get enough in the foods I'm eating to suffice. I guess my first set of labs in January will be the proof. Any suggestions would be most welcome.
As far as my eating......well I wonder if I'm not eating too much. Seems as though I can eat an awful lot sometimes, and then not much at all at other times. I'm probably up to taking in about 500 to 600 calories a day and I am exercising. I just hate these stalls I experience. I'm also eating pretty much everything -- of course, I'm sticking to good things, lots of meats (protein), and absolutely NOo sugar. Oh, and the other no-no is that I have started drinking diet sodas. I am much more able to get in my fluids this way -- my nutritionist told me I could never have them again because they may cause my pouch to stretch. And, I must admit, when I first started drinking them, I couldn't handle much because of the discomfort, but I have seemed to adjust. I've seen other people on this site who's surgeons tell them three months. Oh well......if that's the worst I do on this lifelong diet, that's not so bad. One exciting thing is that I have reached a whole new category as far as my BMI. I started at almost 48 which categorized me as morbidly obese -- bordering on super morbidly obese. Now, at 39.4, I'm just obese. Wow! That's kind of exciting.
Another new avenue I'm exploring is purchasing clothes on eBay. I find that I'm going to need clothes every 20 to 25 pounds and they are just to expensive to be an entire wardrobe that often. For the clothes I can't take in myself, I've started ordering off of eBay. I do like to have two pairs of jeans for every size and that's kind of the important to me. Well the savings online is pretty incredible. If you haven't thought about it, give it a try.
I do think I will try to post some pictures. Although I definitely cannot see the weight loss in myself, the pictures I've been taking make it pretty undeniable. I hate pictures of myself, but I would love to be an inspiration to others. Remember, it's only been 52 pounds and I have a long way to go. I would love to think I could lose another 82 pounds, but I would be ecstatic with another 68.
No matter where you are in your journey, and whether you chose the route of surgery or not, remember that you are worth every bit of effort you put in to the process. Hang on enjoy what you have for you never know when it will be ripped away from you!
Friday, November 10th, 2006
Nov 10, 2006
Good news -- I think my plateau is broken for now. I've lost 6 pounds this week which is great. I've picked up my walking routine and am actually able to walk a mile in 20 minutes -- this is phenomenal for me! So, my loss total now stands at 36 pounds in four weeks. Wow! Maybe this will work for me. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Something else that impresses even me is that my BMI has dropped from 47.5 to 41.6. Only a couple of more points and I'll enter a whole new category for obesity......!
I would love to think that I would have a total weight loss of 50 pounds by Christmas. A big goal, but may be unrealistic. I try to set goals for every 10 pound mark, which is good and realistic. Maybe at that point, I'll post some before and after pics. It is becoming quite obvious, at least in the pictures.
Another tidbit for post ops......those infamous frozen dinner meals -- Lean Cuisines, Healthy Choice, and Smart Ones -- could become your best friend. I can actually get all those down (hope this isn't too much!) then I go and walk for a mile and burn off all the calories I consumed!
Okay gang.....have a great weekend out there. Keep the faith!
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Nov 06, 2006
Anyway, I went back to work yesterday just three weeks after my laparscopic RNY. I actually did fairly well although I was pretty tired when I got home last night. I think going back to work just three weeks after major abdominal surgery is pretty damn good. I must tell you something a little funny though.......it amazes me how many people are not up on the facts of gastric bypass......a few people thought I would come back to work weighing only 150 pounds! Wow! If that were the case, I would have done this 10 years ago! LOL!
Anyway, my weight loss is slowly starting to pick up again. I'm at 34 pounds lost now. Even though the early plateau is frustrating, who could ever guess that someone could lose 34 pounds in three weeks! So I'm not going to continue to complain. I do need to pick up my walking though and I'm sure that will help......finding the time to do so though is a challenge but I have to make myself. And I will as soon as my routine becomes more normal. I know, seems like just an excuse and it probably is, but in another few days, I should be used to the work routine again and will be able to work it in.
People are starting to notice the weight loss, but I'm not sure if they are just being nice, or if they can really see it. I imagine it will be another 20 pounds before it will be really noticeable. I did have to take in all my work slacks though and they are still a little big. I'm also able to get in to some jeans that my butt hasn't seen the inside of for quite some time. Anyway, all is good. Wouldn't it be great if this time next year I was at my goal of 185? I'd be happy to just be in the 100+ range (just under 200). If I could do that, I have 84 pounds to go........I just don't know if its possible, but I guess you never know!
Have a good one everybody and GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, October 27th, 2006
Oct 27, 2006
I guess even more amazing than the 30 pounds loss is the total inches I've lost. All over my body, I've lost a total of 13.75 inches and my BMI has dropped from 47 to 42.5. Hopefully, I'm on the right road now to a healthier life. I just pray it keeps going in the right direction!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Oct 25, 2006
Okay everyone, tell me that someone out there besides me watch Oprah yesterday. Well, unfortunately, my youngest watched the show with me. Her show yesterday featured gastric bypass recipients and their 'transfer addictions.' Two people became alcoholics (one of which was Carney Wilson) and the last a sex addict. My 12 year old thinks we're doomed now. I actually turned the show off. I was interested in what they have to say, but come on. I know Oprah is dead set against any sort of weight loss surgery, and of course she is very entitled to her opinion. But geez, not everyone is going to turn in to a booz-guzzling, sex addict. I do understand the theory behind the transfer addictions, but not everyone will succumb to this. I was scared to death when they announced Carney Wilson would be on the show that she was going to get up there and denounce the weight loss surgeries and I can tell you, I would have been crushed. I really do value her opinion on the subject, so I was glad not to hear her talk bad about it. But let's face it, she had a drug problem before the surgery. The surgery didn't force to continue on with an alcohol problem. I also do agree that there are underlying emotional issues as to why people become so overweight then stay that way.....even though there are a lot of medical reasons as well. The fat is a sort of shield, but only we can decide when it is time to put that shield down. I just hope this program hasn't caused too many people to decide to forego the surgery for the wrong reasons. That would be so unfortunate.
Then there's the entire Dr. Phil show this week that is dealing with a 'House of Hatred' including a very overweight person. Oh, boy! I've decided that it is just about time for me to go back to work and get away from all this TV trash! LOL!
October 23rd, 2006
Oct 23, 2006
Anywho, I'll be posting again at least by Thursday to update on my latest numbers. Take care out there!
October 21st, 2006
Oct 23, 2006
Okay gang, let me be the first to say that I DO NOT like this new format. I can't get all my previous posts to show so I'm doing something wrong. And I'm just too sore to sit here for too long and figure it out. I'll make this brief just in case this doesn't work either.....no sense wasting time. Why did they change something that worked so well. Oh, well!
Anyway, today I am 10 days out and I am 23 pounds down! Whoa! Never in my wildest dreams did I think that would happen. Of course, then I tell myself to remember that it is probably all just water anyway, but I'llk take 23 pounds anyway I can get it! I'm still very sore, but using pain meds less and less. Actually just at night now. I did walk my furthest today to see my daughter's band competition. I walked 2 miles. Didn't know if I was going to make it at times, but I did it! Now I'm pretty worn out, but still feeling pretty damn proud of myself. I really think that by this time next week, I'll be pretty much completely back to my old self and will be able to kick up the exercise notch a bit! I'm so grateful for this second opportunity at life. I just keep my fingers crossed! Food is going okay....probably too well. I'm being very careful about what I eat though I'm not doing a lot of puree'ing. Really haven't had to. I've been eating a lot of soups and such. I did have one small piece of a chicken tender and some rice. I imagine they probably should have been puree'd but I seemed to accept them fine. Tonight I may try a slice of deli ham with some ricotta cheese spread on it for extra added protein. We'll see how that goes or if I even get to it. I'm just not all that hungry yet.
Anyway, have a great rest of the weekend gang! I'll 'attempt' to post next week!
October 17th, 2006
Oct 23, 2006
Well, I'm 5 days post-op and still feeling pretty weak. I know I'm not getting in all my fluids and protein and I'm working really hard on that. I'm still in quite a bit of pain, but it does get a little better each day. Stay on those pain meds and take them regularly. They really do help you be able to move around much better. Also, and this is huge......make sure you have a comfortable recliner available for when you come home to recuperate. I don't have one and I'm really having a tough time. I have to sleep flat on my back which is difficult at best and can only sleep about 45 minutes to an hour at a time. No side sleeping, and my back starts to hurt so bad that I have to get up. Getting up is another story. You can't help but cry out when you do. So, get that recliner -- I think I would feel so much better if I could get some decent sleep.
Home Call home visiting nurses were here yesterday. Two hours! But they definitely reviewed absolutely everything again. They also checked my many incisions. I have an appointment with my primary care doc tomorrow for a post op follow up......I just hope I don't have to wait too long in the waiting room.
Other than this, nothing new to report. I haven't weight myself, but I really don't want to get in to that habit. I'll weigh myself officially on Thursday and then not again until October 30 when I have my first post-op with my surgeon. So, Thursday will be my next post day!
October 15th, 2006
Oct 23, 2006
Wow! Where do I begin??? Yes, I'm now a winner because I've joined all you losers. I may have to post all this is sections, as I'm still fairly worn out. I guess I should start at the beginning. We left my house on Thursday morning (October 12) at 9:10 in order to get to the hospital by 10:50. I was there by 10:30. My surgery wasn't scheduled until 1:00 p.m. so I had LOTS of time to stew and wonder if I should back out. Yes, I finally did get really nervous on my way over and during the pre-op 'stuff.' I did even more paperwork when I got there. Then they called me back to a pre-op area to get my vital signs and have me change in to an ever-so-lovely hospital gown. I actually swam in that gown, believe it or not! After sitting in an uncomfortable recliner for more than an hour, I had to walk down a hallway to the true pre-op area. That's when things really started happening. I had three anesthesiologists come speak to me. They were all super nice. They told me they would give me something to relax me, but that really didn't come until they were rolling me away. They had to wait until everything was explained and papers were signed. Dr. Schweitzer's resident, Dr. Sebastian, spoke to me. Then the man himself, Dr. Schweitzer, spoke to me. He told me and my father that that he thought surgery would take about four hours at most because of my scar tissue. My cousin and aunt came in at about this time, so my dad was blissfully distracted. After that another anesthesiologist came in who was funny as hell and told me it was time. He hit me up with some glorious Versed and all I remember is that I started talking a mile minute. I hope it was all appropriate. I remember everyone laughing a lot, so I'm guessing it wasn't. Once in the OR, I transfered to the operating table which was narrow as hell. Once I was down, my arms were strapped down and then I remember by legs being strapped. That's pretty much it. Next thing I know, I was waking up in my room......at 11:00! My poor father! Apparently, they had some pretty major complications because of my scar tissue and I had a LOT of it. I think I was seconds away from having to convert to an open procedure more than once during the surgery. But, Dr. S was finally able to get it done.....this is why I chose him. If anyone could do it, I knew he could. Of course, when I came to, all I wanted to do is vomit and dry heave. The nursing staff spent a lot of time rushing around pushing meds to keep me from doing that. The last thing they wanted me to do at this point was vomit. I had a catheter in so I really didn't have to worry too much about getting up during that night. And let me tell you, I had some pretty major pain. I can't imagine what the people having open procedures must go through. The morphine in the self-administered PCA really did very little to control it. And on top of that, I think it made me pretty nauseas. One problem I think I had was that I wasn't giving it to myself on a regular enough basis. I would go hours without when I could actually push the button every six minutes. Once a nurse caught on to the fact that I needed to give myself more, the pain did start to diminish. So, I guess the reality is I was going for quite awhile with no pain meds and that's why it hurt so much.
On Friday afternoon, they brought me my Stage I diet which consisted of exactly what it was supposed to consist of.....Crystal Light, chicken broth (more like water a chicken had walked through), and jello. Jello is pretty nasty. Everything tasted way to sweet and was hard to get down. To be honest, I couldn't get most of it down and just didn't. They weren't too worried though because of my being immediately post-op. Later in the day, I had to walk with a physical therapist and walk up a flight of steps for him (four or five). He said I passed with flying colors. I walked the hallways three more times that day and of course was exhausted after each time. My roommate.....oh boy.....that is another story. If you can get a private room, do it! She was a very loud person who was partially deaf, she left her TV on all night long with the sound turned up very loud. She was not a bariatric patient. Get that private room!
On Saturday, I had much of the same. More food from the Stage II diet that I couldn't eat (milk, Carnation Instant Breakfast, Yougurt, jello, and beef broth), more walking that wore me out, and boatloads of doctors coming in and out poking and proding all day long. Dr. S wanted me to stay an extra day or two because of the complications, but his resident came in and said I was fine and wanted to release me. Wonder who will get in trouble for that??? They finally came in and told me I could go home. Then, the same resident came in to take out my TWO drains. I did forget to mention them. I had all the nurses laughing earlier because when I would walk, these drains would bounce against my knees. I told them that I felt like I was 60 years old and had grown testicles! You can imagine their reaction! Back to the main story, the resident came in and removed the drains. OH MY GOD! Not the worst pain I've ever felt, but certainly most unpleasant, especially the second one. I was home by about 8:00 last night. Although moving around in my bed was difficult to say the least, it was so nice to be in there and not that hard hospital bed. When I can finally sleep on my side, I will be in heaven!
I have to call and make appointments to see Dr. S in two weeks and my primary care physician in one week. I think that's about everything. I hope I didn't bore you with all this, but I wanted to be sure I told you every little detail. I'm getting ready to hop in to the shower which should be an adventure -- my hair is one big matted mess. And also, yes, I cheated. I couldn't wait. Last night when I got home I weight 318.5. Was I ever pissed.....I had gained three pounds. But then I remembered all the fluids they pumped in to me. I checked this morning, and I'm down to 311.5. Wow! At seven pounds a night, I could be done in less than a month! LOL! Thanks to everyone out there for traveling this journey with me! It has been an adventure to say the least, and it's just beginning now. I can't help but imagine what this time next year will bring. I just hope I'm not too disappointed. I'll check in with you all in a couple of days!
