iserene17
hurray!
Jan 30, 2008
just got a call from my cardiologist's office - my stress test is set for TOMORROW!
i'm so happy i could bust! i know it's only one business day closer, but that means so much in this waiting game, especially when it comes to my yes today, no tomorrow cardiologist.
so, we shall see.
i'm so happy i could bust! i know it's only one business day closer, but that means so much in this waiting game, especially when it comes to my yes today, no tomorrow cardiologist.
so, we shall see.
funny...
Jan 30, 2008
so last night i go to the psychology eval... or so i thought. my analyst made the appt for me, because she said she couldn't administer the test. my apt was for 6:35. i drag my kids - good natured souls will go ANYWHERE mommy goes - to the office where i have therapy on wednesdays at 10am. boy, is it DIFFERENT at night! the waiting room was crowded with dirty, unkempt and possibly drunk people, kids were running all over, and we were lucky to get seats together. a few people were talking to themselves. my son kept saying, do you really come here every week? i told him it was never like that during the day, thank god.
after an hour and a half, the doctor comes out and calls my full name (can you say HiPPA, anyone?). i go to his office and he starts asking me questions - are you depressed? do you hear voices? do you want to hurt yourself? aren't you depressed? i'm looking at him like, what? don't you know why i'm here? so i ask, didn't ms. w tell you i'm here for a psych eval for gastric bypass? he goes, OH! no, i cannot do that. then he gets up, brings this lady in the office who tells me they don't do those there, that i'll have to go to the HIP center downtown, and why did i waste their time. i was like, my analyst made this appt, not me, and she never told me you guys couldn't do the eval. SIGH!
so we leave, and my son says, you're never going back there, are you. i go, nope. to be honest, i couldn't stand that analyst. i knew more about HER problems than she knew about mine. i went there looking for coping skills to help me deal with my recent health issues, but we rarely ever talked about that. mostly we reminisced about the similarity in our childhoods - we're both black women, same age. but she's an ovarian cancer survivor. i'm proud of her for that and don't want to detract from that in any way, but i'm not there to discuss HER issues, i'm there for help with my OWN.
anyway, i called the HIP center, and my new appt is for 2/8 at 4pm. unless i have to get a sleep study, that should be my last stop. my stress test is set for next monday, so i no longer have to worry about that. once i've taken all these tests, my pcp will write his letter, submit it all in a packet to mary at dr sapala's office, and then she'll send it to HIP for approval. i can't wait! slowly but surely, i'm getting there.
after an hour and a half, the doctor comes out and calls my full name (can you say HiPPA, anyone?). i go to his office and he starts asking me questions - are you depressed? do you hear voices? do you want to hurt yourself? aren't you depressed? i'm looking at him like, what? don't you know why i'm here? so i ask, didn't ms. w tell you i'm here for a psych eval for gastric bypass? he goes, OH! no, i cannot do that. then he gets up, brings this lady in the office who tells me they don't do those there, that i'll have to go to the HIP center downtown, and why did i waste their time. i was like, my analyst made this appt, not me, and she never told me you guys couldn't do the eval. SIGH!
so we leave, and my son says, you're never going back there, are you. i go, nope. to be honest, i couldn't stand that analyst. i knew more about HER problems than she knew about mine. i went there looking for coping skills to help me deal with my recent health issues, but we rarely ever talked about that. mostly we reminisced about the similarity in our childhoods - we're both black women, same age. but she's an ovarian cancer survivor. i'm proud of her for that and don't want to detract from that in any way, but i'm not there to discuss HER issues, i'm there for help with my OWN.
anyway, i called the HIP center, and my new appt is for 2/8 at 4pm. unless i have to get a sleep study, that should be my last stop. my stress test is set for next monday, so i no longer have to worry about that. once i've taken all these tests, my pcp will write his letter, submit it all in a packet to mary at dr sapala's office, and then she'll send it to HIP for approval. i can't wait! slowly but surely, i'm getting there.
on my way...
Jan 25, 2008
yesterday i had my angiogram. they found that my heart is 100% healthy. i DO have 2 blockages, but one of those is in a tiny branchlet, and the other is at the end of one of my stents. the cardio who performed/read the angio says these blockages should resolve themselves soon after the bypass as long as i lose the weight and stay compliant with any meds. she recommends clearing me for the bypass!!!!!! she has already faxed the results to my cardio, and i will see him monday for his final clearance! that is fantastic news, since he's the only one who'd hold me back. i still have to have an echo and an updated stress test, but he can do those in his office.
s/w mary at dr sapala's office, and she says once i have everything else in, she'll schedule me for the soonest date they have! o happy day!
so! monday i'll see the cardio, tuesday the psych, thursday the lung guy and friday the bloodwork. all that stuff will be sent to my pcp, then he'll have everything forwarded to dr sapala who will send everything to HIP. mary says HIP will probably take less than 72 hrs to approve. mercy, mercy - i could be scheduled sometime in february if everything works out!
i'm so excited!
s/w mary at dr sapala's office, and she says once i have everything else in, she'll schedule me for the soonest date they have! o happy day!
so! monday i'll see the cardio, tuesday the psych, thursday the lung guy and friday the bloodwork. all that stuff will be sent to my pcp, then he'll have everything forwarded to dr sapala who will send everything to HIP. mary says HIP will probably take less than 72 hrs to approve. mercy, mercy - i could be scheduled sometime in february if everything works out!
i'm so excited!
great news!
Jan 21, 2008
on friday, i'm having an angiogram. if all goes well, my cardio says he'll release me to have the rny. i will still need updated stress test and echo, but at least i got him to say he'd clear me! this way, i won't have to wait until april, and i'll be able to get back to work and back to health THAT much sooner! i'm so happy. there's a lot riding on this angio, but i'm confident everything will come out fine.
on wednesday, i'll see the psych, thursday is my pulmonary, friday is the angio and next monday i go to social security. i was waiting on some papers from this law firm - i was hoping THEY would file the papers for me, but i guess we'll see. in any case, i have a busy week coming up!
on wednesday, i'll see the psych, thursday is my pulmonary, friday is the angio and next monday i go to social security. i was waiting on some papers from this law firm - i was hoping THEY would file the papers for me, but i guess we'll see. in any case, i have a busy week coming up!
today's update...
Jan 17, 2008
yesterday, i saw the cardio. he tells me my pressure is up, and that i've retained water. he starts ordering tests and making calls. i say, waddaya doin' in a little singsong-ey voice. he asks me if i want another angiogram. i'm like, WHO is the doctor here??? then again, my regular doc was away until monday. so we put off me having to go to the death trap hospital - interfaith - which is where this young doc has privileges. i can wait until monday, when my regular doc comes back, to see what HE says. anyways, it's probably anxiety from not being paid, and physical stress from having my auntie over.
so, monday, i have to see the cardio in the early am, then the pcp. and i'll make SURE they fax the eds directly to metlife, so i don't have any more pay anxiety. it's bad enough i'm only getting half pay right now, but to turn around and not even give me THAT... it's too freakin' much!
on a brighter note, i FINALLY rec'd my check!
the area superfood town and the laundry are FIRST on my list of places to visit....
one day at a time...
Jan 16, 2008
not much going on, except that because my doctor's office personnel is mega-lazy and didn't send my meds over, i didn't get paid. of course no one else would care about this, but my kids gotta eat! they finally worked it out, and i should be getting an off cycle check tomorrow. WHEW!
cardiac rehab - NOT! i couldn't go because i had no $ for the co-pays. i DID go to my weekly analyst appt. once again i felt it was a waste of my time, but now she says she'll refer me to the psychiatrist. at least then, i'll be able to get my RNY psych referral done. they will also review my ambien rx. tomorrow i'll have a consult w/the cardiac rehab dietician. on monday, i see the diabetic educator, go to the regular rehab and then see my pcp. i'll ask him for the support letter, bloodwork and pulmonary referral. even though my cardio says i have to wait until april, dr sapala's office told me i don't have to wait until april to get all my clearances. i figure, if i get them all done as soon as possible, then maybe the cardio will clear me early. i'm just really hoping to get this out of the way so i can move on to my healthier life.
today, i have an appt w/the cardio, for 2 reasons. first, before i can do any exercise at cardiac rehab, i need an updated stress test. i haven't had one since the 10/07 stent was placed. SECOND, there's a new controversy about one of the meds i currently take - vytorin. i take the strongest dose available, because i have extremely high cholesterol. the problem seems to be that a study, which ended 11/06 but whose results were only released 1/08 (over a year later), found that vytorin did NOT significantly reduce cardiac plaque in those who took it, as opposed to just taking statins. it DOES reduce total cholesterol levels better and faster than just lipitor, but the cardiac plaque seems to build up FASTER. how that happens, i don't know. however, the fast plaque buildup does seem to be happening to me, given the fact that i've been taking vytorin since 11/06 and have had 2 heart attacks, a mini-stroke and 4 stents placed (allegedly, all due to plaque buildup) since taking it. over the phone, my cardio told me to continue taking it, but again, i do have an appt to see him today. we definitely need to discuss options and possible changes in my scripts.
i try to stay upbeat, but it is difficult. i'm not talking to my best friend, my money is funny, and i'm not really in the habit of pouring my heart out to strangers. so i come here, to let it all hang out. i do this in the hopes that one day i'll come back here and see just how far i've come. i know it will happen, and soon, but TODAY i am just down. i'm tired of being tired and sad. and i'm impatient. the only thing that sustains me is the knowledge that i'm not running this here, and that it is not in the Creator's will for me to understand everything, at least not right now. and that's ok. for now. i guess i'll just take it one day at a time....
cardiac rehab - NOT! i couldn't go because i had no $ for the co-pays. i DID go to my weekly analyst appt. once again i felt it was a waste of my time, but now she says she'll refer me to the psychiatrist. at least then, i'll be able to get my RNY psych referral done. they will also review my ambien rx. tomorrow i'll have a consult w/the cardiac rehab dietician. on monday, i see the diabetic educator, go to the regular rehab and then see my pcp. i'll ask him for the support letter, bloodwork and pulmonary referral. even though my cardio says i have to wait until april, dr sapala's office told me i don't have to wait until april to get all my clearances. i figure, if i get them all done as soon as possible, then maybe the cardio will clear me early. i'm just really hoping to get this out of the way so i can move on to my healthier life.
today, i have an appt w/the cardio, for 2 reasons. first, before i can do any exercise at cardiac rehab, i need an updated stress test. i haven't had one since the 10/07 stent was placed. SECOND, there's a new controversy about one of the meds i currently take - vytorin. i take the strongest dose available, because i have extremely high cholesterol. the problem seems to be that a study, which ended 11/06 but whose results were only released 1/08 (over a year later), found that vytorin did NOT significantly reduce cardiac plaque in those who took it, as opposed to just taking statins. it DOES reduce total cholesterol levels better and faster than just lipitor, but the cardiac plaque seems to build up FASTER. how that happens, i don't know. however, the fast plaque buildup does seem to be happening to me, given the fact that i've been taking vytorin since 11/06 and have had 2 heart attacks, a mini-stroke and 4 stents placed (allegedly, all due to plaque buildup) since taking it. over the phone, my cardio told me to continue taking it, but again, i do have an appt to see him today. we definitely need to discuss options and possible changes in my scripts.
i try to stay upbeat, but it is difficult. i'm not talking to my best friend, my money is funny, and i'm not really in the habit of pouring my heart out to strangers. so i come here, to let it all hang out. i do this in the hopes that one day i'll come back here and see just how far i've come. i know it will happen, and soon, but TODAY i am just down. i'm tired of being tired and sad. and i'm impatient. the only thing that sustains me is the knowledge that i'm not running this here, and that it is not in the Creator's will for me to understand everything, at least not right now. and that's ok. for now. i guess i'll just take it one day at a time....
it's always something...
Jan 06, 2008
a longtime jump-off partner called to let me know he wants something more real. OH? i asked. he says yeah, he'll be available in march. check this - he's waiting until then to see if his married friend in MD is gonna leave her husband. if she doesn't, he wants to make things permanent with me. i'm kinda shocked. there was a time when i'd have wanted nothing more than to be his lady, but now, i don't know if i really want him. i don't like the idea of waiting for this MARRIED heifer to let go of this man, and i don't like thinking i have to wait until march. and best believe, NOTHING else will jump off physically until i believe eveything is over between those two. anytime a man can cheat with a married woman, he can cheat all the time - and cheating has always disgusted me. things can never be simple, i swear!
anyway, denise from my surgeon's office called to follow up with me. even though i can't have the procedure now, she says i can begin getting all the required tests done, that many of them will be valid for 6 months. this is great news! and makes me feel as if i can at least play at getting my new life started. i said i need to do more proactive things, well, this is it!
wish me luck...
today's news...
Dec 29, 2007
had an appt today w/my pcp, dr kazeem. every time i see him, i feel so comforted, even though he doesn't say much. he says i'm doing well - my pressure and my blood sugar numbers are good. he told me to keep up the good work in terms of my home exercises and diet. HOWEVER, he agrees i'm to stay out of work for the next 3 months at least, and i'm to have an appt with him every 4 wks until i have my procedure.
i begin cardiac rehab 1/8, and i'm excited to have something to do, someplace to go where i can be proactive about my health. besides, if i'm going to the cardiac rehab, i won't be home anxiously waiting for the rny, right?
christmas was great. christmas eve, my parents came by and my mom gave the kids money. of course the day after christmas, we were in toysrus spending it, but even that was okay. the only bad thing is that i haven't seen my best friend, and she hasn't called. we haven't talked about the wls again, but i know she disapproves in a big way. i feel if i get slim, we won't be friends anymore. i'm willing to take that chance, but it makes me sad.
i met this TRULY boring guy from match.com. he's the whitest black guy i've ever spoken to, second only to my ex-husband. he wants to meet me for a drink wednesday, but i'm kinda like what's the point - he talks too much but never about himself. he talked for an hour about his family, which WAS kinda interesting, but like i told him, i don't want to kiss his family... this dating thing is so beyond me. i can't make an emotional connection with a less than intelligent man, but why are all the smart guys i meet so incredibly boring and oreo-ish?? aren't there any available intelligent brothers left in brooklyn???
my christmas wish and my new years resolution coincide - SEND ME A GOOD MAN!
i begin cardiac rehab 1/8, and i'm excited to have something to do, someplace to go where i can be proactive about my health. besides, if i'm going to the cardiac rehab, i won't be home anxiously waiting for the rny, right?
christmas was great. christmas eve, my parents came by and my mom gave the kids money. of course the day after christmas, we were in toysrus spending it, but even that was okay. the only bad thing is that i haven't seen my best friend, and she hasn't called. we haven't talked about the wls again, but i know she disapproves in a big way. i feel if i get slim, we won't be friends anymore. i'm willing to take that chance, but it makes me sad.
i met this TRULY boring guy from match.com. he's the whitest black guy i've ever spoken to, second only to my ex-husband. he wants to meet me for a drink wednesday, but i'm kinda like what's the point - he talks too much but never about himself. he talked for an hour about his family, which WAS kinda interesting, but like i told him, i don't want to kiss his family... this dating thing is so beyond me. i can't make an emotional connection with a less than intelligent man, but why are all the smart guys i meet so incredibly boring and oreo-ish?? aren't there any available intelligent brothers left in brooklyn???
my christmas wish and my new years resolution coincide - SEND ME A GOOD MAN!
something to look forward to...
Dec 20, 2007
i've been pretty cranky since i found out my cardiologist wasn't going to clear me for the procedure until i'd had a 6 month period without cardiac issues. my BRAIN knows this is a good thing, a safer way to play, but i'm NOT a patient woman. and incidentally, i'm home on disability and have been since 8/9. i'm freakin bored. anyway, i totally forgot that my doctor recommended me to go to an outpatient cardiac rehab program. he'd gotten me approved, and i was waiting for the initial intake. that was back in early november, before i began my mad push for rny. WELL, they called yesterday, and my first appt is 1/8/08. i'm SOOO glad. if i can't have the rny procedure now, at least i can do something else constructive for my health. i'm excited to be playing a more active role in my own road back to better health. but again, i'm not a patient woman, so i just CAN'T wait!!!!!
i spent this morning with my daughter's 2nd grade class making gingerbread houses. we used every kind of candy you can possibly imagine, plus pretzels and marshmallows. of course we used white cake icing. we started at 11 - by 12 i was practically COVERED with all types of little people white hand prints, hug marks and smudges. it was SO great. i loved having that precious time with her - cam's my second, so i don't always get to lavish as much 'just girlz' time on heras i'd like. tomorrow, presents for the teachers (soft, snuggly micro-fleece blankets from tar-zhay), secret santa's for classmates, buckets of kfc for each class (i've got a 7th grader too), and then i'm done. at least until i see my brothers and my 9 nieces and nephews!
i spent this morning with my daughter's 2nd grade class making gingerbread houses. we used every kind of candy you can possibly imagine, plus pretzels and marshmallows. of course we used white cake icing. we started at 11 - by 12 i was practically COVERED with all types of little people white hand prints, hug marks and smudges. it was SO great. i loved having that precious time with her - cam's my second, so i don't always get to lavish as much 'just girlz' time on heras i'd like. tomorrow, presents for the teachers (soft, snuggly micro-fleece blankets from tar-zhay), secret santa's for classmates, buckets of kfc for each class (i've got a 7th grader too), and then i'm done. at least until i see my brothers and my 9 nieces and nephews!
ambivalence...
Dec 14, 2007
this year, i'm having a love/hate relationship with christmas. i love the church traditions and religious ceremony of it, but dang if shopping doesn't just about bite my butt!
yep, i just came back from green acres mall, having spent ALL my damn money. an ipod nano and 2 nintendo ds games for my son, a nintendo ds and 2 games for my daughter, a doggy bed and some chewies for our shih-tzu sacha bibbins and 2 ds games for mommy. but DAMMIT if i'm not yet finished shopping because the kidz still need clothes! plus, i have 9 nieces and nephews. auntie deedee is tapped out.
i've always been able to lavish gifts on my kids and the rest of the tribe because i've always had a good job. i'm not rich, but i've always been comfortable financially. this year, being out on disability twice (for a total of 6 months and counting) is wearing my 'ends' thin. i know my kids won't say anything about the size of their present piles. in fact, they think they're not getting anything because money has been so funny. but i feel bad, like i'm a failure. my head knows that's absolutely ridiculous, but my heart aches. i tell myself that this too shall pass, but you know, we all live in the NOW. at the very least, all my bills are paid, my gas tank and refrigerator are full and i have no debt. i'm moody and whiny because my period's coming, and i can't have my procedure until april (stomping foot).
(pouting) it's not FAIR!
yep, i just came back from green acres mall, having spent ALL my damn money. an ipod nano and 2 nintendo ds games for my son, a nintendo ds and 2 games for my daughter, a doggy bed and some chewies for our shih-tzu sacha bibbins and 2 ds games for mommy. but DAMMIT if i'm not yet finished shopping because the kidz still need clothes! plus, i have 9 nieces and nephews. auntie deedee is tapped out.
i've always been able to lavish gifts on my kids and the rest of the tribe because i've always had a good job. i'm not rich, but i've always been comfortable financially. this year, being out on disability twice (for a total of 6 months and counting) is wearing my 'ends' thin. i know my kids won't say anything about the size of their present piles. in fact, they think they're not getting anything because money has been so funny. but i feel bad, like i'm a failure. my head knows that's absolutely ridiculous, but my heart aches. i tell myself that this too shall pass, but you know, we all live in the NOW. at the very least, all my bills are paid, my gas tank and refrigerator are full and i have no debt. i'm moody and whiny because my period's coming, and i can't have my procedure until april (stomping foot).
(pouting) it's not FAIR!
About Me
brooklyn, NY
Location
27.6
BMI
Surgery
06/03/2008
Surgery Date
Nov 29, 2007
Member Since
