iserene17
it approaches...
Apr 08, 2008
tomorrow is my day y'all!
i'm excited and HUNGRY! i have a headache. i'm thinking about all these things i should be doing, but am instead writing this dang blog.
i was reading all the drama on BAF earlier, and then the drama on the rants and raves forum. sometimes i get so sad for people - how angry and frustrated they are. then i feel sad for the people who get angry at them - don't they understand that EVERYONE gets angry and frustrated sometimes? and who are they to judge the ones who vent today, because it'll be someone else tomorrow. [except one. she vents EVERYDAY.] i read all the time, but between not wanting to sound holier than thou and just plain not having the energy to fight, i rarely add my own 2 cents. maybe one day i will, but man, those sharks have TEETH!
my order from bariatric eating is due today, and i have lots of other stuff coming. i ordered unjury protein, the new whey bullets, and chewable vitamins. some people advised that tastebuds change after surgery, and that may be true. but to be honest, i don't expect these things to taste good, i only expect them to be good for me. i will take them for my health - just like the meds. only, i'm starting to feel like i've traded the meds for vitamins. it may sound silly, but i'd rather pay $5 for an rx than $25 for vitamins - call me crazy. i'd rather not take anything at all! oh well. but you know what? i'd also like to be a lot thinner and be able to run around like i used to, and not have any more heart attacks! boy, am i in a funny mood today...
i'm very excited about the surgery, but i don't like leaving my kids, even for a few days. i AM glad that this is the beginning of a new, healthier, journey for me. last year, on 4/7/07, i had a heart attack.
by his grace, i made it here, to 2008, and tomorrow is a big day for me. i have prepared as much as i can. now, i'm just relaxing and looking forward.
just think - the next time i post here, i'll be on the other side!
good googa mooga!
i'm excited and HUNGRY! i have a headache. i'm thinking about all these things i should be doing, but am instead writing this dang blog.
i was reading all the drama on BAF earlier, and then the drama on the rants and raves forum. sometimes i get so sad for people - how angry and frustrated they are. then i feel sad for the people who get angry at them - don't they understand that EVERYONE gets angry and frustrated sometimes? and who are they to judge the ones who vent today, because it'll be someone else tomorrow. [except one. she vents EVERYDAY.] i read all the time, but between not wanting to sound holier than thou and just plain not having the energy to fight, i rarely add my own 2 cents. maybe one day i will, but man, those sharks have TEETH!
my order from bariatric eating is due today, and i have lots of other stuff coming. i ordered unjury protein, the new whey bullets, and chewable vitamins. some people advised that tastebuds change after surgery, and that may be true. but to be honest, i don't expect these things to taste good, i only expect them to be good for me. i will take them for my health - just like the meds. only, i'm starting to feel like i've traded the meds for vitamins. it may sound silly, but i'd rather pay $5 for an rx than $25 for vitamins - call me crazy. i'd rather not take anything at all! oh well. but you know what? i'd also like to be a lot thinner and be able to run around like i used to, and not have any more heart attacks! boy, am i in a funny mood today...
i'm very excited about the surgery, but i don't like leaving my kids, even for a few days. i AM glad that this is the beginning of a new, healthier, journey for me. last year, on 4/7/07, i had a heart attack.
by his grace, i made it here, to 2008, and tomorrow is a big day for me. i have prepared as much as i can. now, i'm just relaxing and looking forward.
just think - the next time i post here, i'll be on the other side!
good googa mooga!
i can finally do the happy dance!!!!!!
Mar 28, 2008
oh happy day - 4/9/08!
i was on the edge earlier today. mary from dr sapala's office and i got into a power play because she wanted the clearance letter worded a certain way, and my doctor didn't want to do it that way. so long story short, both sides help me up for the past 2 weeks, and i finally got mad. it wasn't pretty, i can tell you that.
so - my presurgical testing is on 4/2,
i get my vena cava filter 4/3,
and surgery is on 4/9/08!!!!!
i'm so happy
finally! i am so thankful, and so ready for the next step in my journey to begin. boy oh, boy - i can't wait to be taken off all these meds!
in readiness for the surgery, i treated myself to a whole bunch of music from itunes. i even bought a few videos to watch while i'm in the hospital. so now, i can finally go shopping for the foods i'll need post-surgery and for a few weeks beyond. my kids will be glad i'll stop TALKING about the surgery and finally HAVE it, and stop scaring them with being sick.
oh boy! oh happy day! 4/9/08! my new favorite day!
i was on the edge earlier today. mary from dr sapala's office and i got into a power play because she wanted the clearance letter worded a certain way, and my doctor didn't want to do it that way. so long story short, both sides help me up for the past 2 weeks, and i finally got mad. it wasn't pretty, i can tell you that.
so - my presurgical testing is on 4/2,
i get my vena cava filter 4/3,
and surgery is on 4/9/08!!!!!
i'm so happy
finally! i am so thankful, and so ready for the next step in my journey to begin. boy oh, boy - i can't wait to be taken off all these meds!
in readiness for the surgery, i treated myself to a whole bunch of music from itunes. i even bought a few videos to watch while i'm in the hospital. so now, i can finally go shopping for the foods i'll need post-surgery and for a few weeks beyond. my kids will be glad i'll stop TALKING about the surgery and finally HAVE it, and stop scaring them with being sick.
oh boy! oh happy day! 4/9/08! my new favorite day!
once again...
Mar 25, 2008
my surgery date has been moved. now it's 4/9/08.
i guess i shouldn't be upset, because it's only 2 days.
but metlife has not extended my disability past 3/19/08 because
they say my clearance for this surgery means i can return to work.
right now, i have to use my personal and vacation time for the period between the denial date and my surgery date, pending the outcome of my appeal. everytime they move my surgery date out, it eats up more and more of my available time.
my surgery is such a complicated matter because of my past cardiac issues. everyone is being super-careful. of COURSE i appreciate that, but no one is really taking into consideration what my mental status is like because of the financial difficulties i face. thank goodness i've never been extravagant, or else i'd probably be out on the street, or worse, back at home with my parents.
so, i'm set to begin my twice-daily lovenox self-injections on thursday, with surgery exactly 14 days later, wednesday 4/9/08.
i definitely will NOT be one of those people who has second thoughts the day before or the day of surgery. while i definitely understand why people get scared and freak out, i have been on a continuous freak out since 4/9/07 when i had my first heart attack. two heart attacks, a stroke and four stents later, i figure, what else can they do to me?
please pray for me.
i know in my heart and soul that everything is going to work out just fine, but right now i need a bit of reassurance, especially from those who have already gone down this road. i'm usually a lurker, but today i just need a few words of encouragement. i feel like such a baby, but there it is.
have a great day, y'all, and thanks for listening.
dee
i guess i shouldn't be upset, because it's only 2 days.
but metlife has not extended my disability past 3/19/08 because
they say my clearance for this surgery means i can return to work.
right now, i have to use my personal and vacation time for the period between the denial date and my surgery date, pending the outcome of my appeal. everytime they move my surgery date out, it eats up more and more of my available time.
my surgery is such a complicated matter because of my past cardiac issues. everyone is being super-careful. of COURSE i appreciate that, but no one is really taking into consideration what my mental status is like because of the financial difficulties i face. thank goodness i've never been extravagant, or else i'd probably be out on the street, or worse, back at home with my parents.
so, i'm set to begin my twice-daily lovenox self-injections on thursday, with surgery exactly 14 days later, wednesday 4/9/08.
i definitely will NOT be one of those people who has second thoughts the day before or the day of surgery. while i definitely understand why people get scared and freak out, i have been on a continuous freak out since 4/9/07 when i had my first heart attack. two heart attacks, a stroke and four stents later, i figure, what else can they do to me?
please pray for me.
i know in my heart and soul that everything is going to work out just fine, but right now i need a bit of reassurance, especially from those who have already gone down this road. i'm usually a lurker, but today i just need a few words of encouragement. i feel like such a baby, but there it is.
have a great day, y'all, and thanks for listening.
dee
just as i figured...
Mar 21, 2008
i am not having surgery 3/26/08.
it's been bumped up to 4/7 because heparin has been taken off the market. so now, instead of having to go to the hospital 3 days early to switch off plavix and onto heparin, i have to give myself 2 shots of lovenox a day for 2 weeks! unbelievably, one box (10 injections) of that stuff costs $400! thank goodness all i have to pay is my $5 co-pay.
also, i still need to make sure dr sapala gets my sleep test results, and then my pcp has to fax over her letter of support/clearance. my next appointment with him is on tuesday, and the surgery is set for 2 wks after that.
i am having a bit of a problem with my db carrier, metlife. all of a sudden, they need MORE information in order to extend my absence. they have suspended/denied my claim for disability past 3/19 unless until they get additional medical. but check this-the case manager has no idea what the additional criteria is. he says i have to wait until i receive the denial letter to know what the clinicians need. of course, the denial letter hasn't yet been issued. YET, they've already advised my supervisor that my claim for extension has been denied, so his next action is to issue an awol letter. he called me today to tell me i can begin using my vacation and personal time, which is great, because now, instead of getting a half check, i'll get a full check - at least until they revert the denial, or i have my surgery and they HAVE to restore my disabiity.
whew! as you can see, i've been going THROUGH this week, so seeing the light at the end of the approval tunnel has been a bit bittersweet. in fact, yesterday while all this was going down, i was "thinged up" (my phrase for bugged out), and my mommy had to come take care of me before i really went off the deep end. not knowing where your next dollar is coming from is truly scary, especially when you've prided yourself on keeping your bills paid, no matter what. plus i got these here two chirren to feed...
in the end, all will be well, because HE loves me. it's that simple.
happy easter to all who see these words.
BUT - if you're one of the churchless heathen going to church on easter sunday (first time since either new year's or christmas), just STAY HOME. you double-parking muthas get me sick! going to church on easter just to show off your new outfits. god ain't lookin at that - he don't care bout no prada! if you park me in, ima hitcha wit my truck and keep it movin!
praise god (oh, i ain't going either - heeheehee)!
love y'all!
dee
it's been bumped up to 4/7 because heparin has been taken off the market. so now, instead of having to go to the hospital 3 days early to switch off plavix and onto heparin, i have to give myself 2 shots of lovenox a day for 2 weeks! unbelievably, one box (10 injections) of that stuff costs $400! thank goodness all i have to pay is my $5 co-pay.
also, i still need to make sure dr sapala gets my sleep test results, and then my pcp has to fax over her letter of support/clearance. my next appointment with him is on tuesday, and the surgery is set for 2 wks after that.
i am having a bit of a problem with my db carrier, metlife. all of a sudden, they need MORE information in order to extend my absence. they have suspended/denied my claim for disability past 3/19 unless until they get additional medical. but check this-the case manager has no idea what the additional criteria is. he says i have to wait until i receive the denial letter to know what the clinicians need. of course, the denial letter hasn't yet been issued. YET, they've already advised my supervisor that my claim for extension has been denied, so his next action is to issue an awol letter. he called me today to tell me i can begin using my vacation and personal time, which is great, because now, instead of getting a half check, i'll get a full check - at least until they revert the denial, or i have my surgery and they HAVE to restore my disabiity.
whew! as you can see, i've been going THROUGH this week, so seeing the light at the end of the approval tunnel has been a bit bittersweet. in fact, yesterday while all this was going down, i was "thinged up" (my phrase for bugged out), and my mommy had to come take care of me before i really went off the deep end. not knowing where your next dollar is coming from is truly scary, especially when you've prided yourself on keeping your bills paid, no matter what. plus i got these here two chirren to feed...
in the end, all will be well, because HE loves me. it's that simple.
happy easter to all who see these words.
BUT - if you're one of the churchless heathen going to church on easter sunday (first time since either new year's or christmas), just STAY HOME. you double-parking muthas get me sick! going to church on easter just to show off your new outfits. god ain't lookin at that - he don't care bout no prada! if you park me in, ima hitcha wit my truck and keep it movin!
praise god (oh, i ain't going either - heeheehee)!
love y'all!
dee
update...
Mar 16, 2008
finally, amazingly, my surgery is scheduled for 3/26/08.
while this IS exciting, there is still much to do.
all my testing is done, but not all results are in yet.
the surgeon's office still hasn't received the results fron the pulmonary series (pft/sleep) nor the letter of support/clearance from my pcp. so, all that is in and the request for auth is formally submitted to HIP, i don't want to let myself get TOO excited.
i have been calling each provider everyday to make sure they're doing what they should - sending the reports where they should go.
my pcp was holding off because they were waiting to get the initial consult from the surgeon. why they didn't have that - despite the initial having been done in december, i will NEVER know. but finally, dr sapala's office did send the consult, so now dr iyer has to send the support/clearance. i will be checking with everyone on monday, to see if all the reports went to the people they were supposed to go to, so the req for auth can be submitted. cuz to be honest, you can set a date for surgery, but if it hasn't been authorized, it's not gonna happen.
i'm making a pain of myself, but i don't care.
maybe they'll appreciate how long i've been patient.
i'm not going to remain patient any longer.
HOWEVER, if all the paperwork gets in by friday, i WILL be able to have the surgery on the tentative date. won't THAT be great???
sigh!
while this IS exciting, there is still much to do.
all my testing is done, but not all results are in yet.
the surgeon's office still hasn't received the results fron the pulmonary series (pft/sleep) nor the letter of support/clearance from my pcp. so, all that is in and the request for auth is formally submitted to HIP, i don't want to let myself get TOO excited.
i have been calling each provider everyday to make sure they're doing what they should - sending the reports where they should go.
my pcp was holding off because they were waiting to get the initial consult from the surgeon. why they didn't have that - despite the initial having been done in december, i will NEVER know. but finally, dr sapala's office did send the consult, so now dr iyer has to send the support/clearance. i will be checking with everyone on monday, to see if all the reports went to the people they were supposed to go to, so the req for auth can be submitted. cuz to be honest, you can set a date for surgery, but if it hasn't been authorized, it's not gonna happen.
i'm making a pain of myself, but i don't care.
maybe they'll appreciate how long i've been patient.
i'm not going to remain patient any longer.
HOWEVER, if all the paperwork gets in by friday, i WILL be able to have the surgery on the tentative date. won't THAT be great???
sigh!
sighs...
Mar 07, 2008
saw the second cardio wednesday. he agrees w/what MY cardio says, but says he wants to SPEAK with him to verify the info in his report. HUH? why is the report alone not enough?
so anyway, i'm set for the pft tomorrow morning, and the sleep test sunday night. i should be done after those two things. i'll wait until wednesday and call mary, askig her when the soonest available surgery date is.
i'm starting to get SO excited.
also, i've enrolled in the university of phoenix's mba program, with a specialty in human resources management. i'm excited about that too!
my life is really starting to pick up points for being full and interesting.
more later, as events elapse and develop.
oh, and please say a prayer for ms dizzy dolores, who had surg 3/6/08.
i'm sure she's fine, but prayers can't hurt!!!
so anyway, i'm set for the pft tomorrow morning, and the sleep test sunday night. i should be done after those two things. i'll wait until wednesday and call mary, askig her when the soonest available surgery date is.
i'm starting to get SO excited.
also, i've enrolled in the university of phoenix's mba program, with a specialty in human resources management. i'm excited about that too!
my life is really starting to pick up points for being full and interesting.
more later, as events elapse and develop.
oh, and please say a prayer for ms dizzy dolores, who had surg 3/6/08.
i'm sure she's fine, but prayers can't hurt!!!
it's been awhile...
Mar 01, 2008
thursday was my son's 13th birthday, so today, i allowed him to have his closest friends over for pizza and games. the 7 young men here in my home are having a great time playing playstation, xbox and nintendo, and chasing my 7 year old daughter out of the room every now and then. they're all having a blast!
i'm enjoying it too, because no one has asked me for anything other than napkins. they've all been on their best behavior, and they cleaned up wonderfully. now they're out there singing to someone's ipod. they're so cute - and thank goodness they're going home... LOL!
my journey continues. i have my pulmonary consult and gave my bloods last friday. i have a follow-up cardio consult on wednesday, and i take my pft on saturday. my last appt will be the sleep test - i'm waiting on that appointment. so i figure, i should get my date sometime next week.
i can't wait to be scheduled and done. i'm looking forward to recovery, and finally, returning to work.
i know everything will work out - i believe that only good things are coming my way. i'm excited and grateful for it all.
til later y'all!
i'm enjoying it too, because no one has asked me for anything other than napkins. they've all been on their best behavior, and they cleaned up wonderfully. now they're out there singing to someone's ipod. they're so cute - and thank goodness they're going home... LOL!
my journey continues. i have my pulmonary consult and gave my bloods last friday. i have a follow-up cardio consult on wednesday, and i take my pft on saturday. my last appt will be the sleep test - i'm waiting on that appointment. so i figure, i should get my date sometime next week.
i can't wait to be scheduled and done. i'm looking forward to recovery, and finally, returning to work.
i know everything will work out - i believe that only good things are coming my way. i'm excited and grateful for it all.
til later y'all!
this has been a great weekend...
Feb 10, 2008
on friday, i had my psych eval. i thought i was going to have to take some kind of test, but nope. all we did was talk, mostly about my health issues this past year. even HE was kinda taken aback by all the stuff i went through. he recommended i change therapists, but he did say he thought i was dealing with it all pretty well. and then he said he definitely thought the surgery was a good idea for me, and that he felt i'd do very well.
of course, after that i was pretty psyched. i took the kids to cold stone in the atlantic terminal mall. we NEVER go there, i hardly ever have money to splurge on ice cream, but man, was it great.
yesterday, we went to see monster jam. it's a show where these huge trucks crush cars. it was LOUD and stinky, but the kids and i really liked it. we went with my brother and his kids and two of his friends and their kids. it was a beautiful evening, even though it rained a little bit. i even got a parking spot when we got home - how great is THAT!
today, we're going to see hannah montana in 3D. my daughter is so excited she can barely sit still. it's exasperating to have her ping-ponging herself through the house, but i get it. we haven't been able to do fun stuff in quite a while snce i've been out on disability, but bump it - the kids need fun, and so do i.
i haven't seen them smile so much in almost a year, and it really makes me feel good to share these moments with them. we'll never get these moments back, so i know i'd better make them count. i love those little people so much! i have been really blessed - they're well behaved and do well in school. i'm proud of them, and proud to be their mommy. they even teach me stuff!
enough mushy stuff. tomorrow i have my pulmonary appt, and probably friday i'll go get my bloodwork done. i shouldn't do it any sooner because i have my period. my pcp recommended i get it done about 2 weeks after it's done. the only bad thing is that the psych said he might not get my report done for 3 or 4 weeks. amazing that he could say that to me with a straight face. but anyway, if all goes well, maybe i can get my surgery scheduled for sometime in march, with a tentative return to work some time in april.
strangely enough, surgery can't come soon enough!
of course, after that i was pretty psyched. i took the kids to cold stone in the atlantic terminal mall. we NEVER go there, i hardly ever have money to splurge on ice cream, but man, was it great.
yesterday, we went to see monster jam. it's a show where these huge trucks crush cars. it was LOUD and stinky, but the kids and i really liked it. we went with my brother and his kids and two of his friends and their kids. it was a beautiful evening, even though it rained a little bit. i even got a parking spot when we got home - how great is THAT!
today, we're going to see hannah montana in 3D. my daughter is so excited she can barely sit still. it's exasperating to have her ping-ponging herself through the house, but i get it. we haven't been able to do fun stuff in quite a while snce i've been out on disability, but bump it - the kids need fun, and so do i.
i haven't seen them smile so much in almost a year, and it really makes me feel good to share these moments with them. we'll never get these moments back, so i know i'd better make them count. i love those little people so much! i have been really blessed - they're well behaved and do well in school. i'm proud of them, and proud to be their mommy. they even teach me stuff!
enough mushy stuff. tomorrow i have my pulmonary appt, and probably friday i'll go get my bloodwork done. i shouldn't do it any sooner because i have my period. my pcp recommended i get it done about 2 weeks after it's done. the only bad thing is that the psych said he might not get my report done for 3 or 4 weeks. amazing that he could say that to me with a straight face. but anyway, if all goes well, maybe i can get my surgery scheduled for sometime in march, with a tentative return to work some time in april.
strangely enough, surgery can't come soon enough!
one down...
Feb 04, 2008
persistence pays!
the flip-flopping cardio has finally written out his auth and clearance.it was like pulling teeth. once again i had to recite all my reasons for wanting the procedure, and demonstrate that i had done and continue to do, a great deal of research. he said, "you're smart." i told him no, i am EDUCATED. so he wrote his letter out in front of me, and even gave me a copy, along with all my test results, without me even having to ask him for it. the secretary wished me well, and gave me a hug.
so, i'm on my way! friday is the psych eval, then monday the 11th, i'll go to the lung guy. i'll probably do the bloodwork friday as well.
yay for me!!!!!
the flip-flopping cardio has finally written out his auth and clearance.it was like pulling teeth. once again i had to recite all my reasons for wanting the procedure, and demonstrate that i had done and continue to do, a great deal of research. he said, "you're smart." i told him no, i am EDUCATED. so he wrote his letter out in front of me, and even gave me a copy, along with all my test results, without me even having to ask him for it. the secretary wished me well, and gave me a hug.
so, i'm on my way! friday is the psych eval, then monday the 11th, i'll go to the lung guy. i'll probably do the bloodwork friday as well.
yay for me!!!!!
welp welp a welp....
Jan 31, 2008
had the old stress-test-a-roni today, and of course, it went GREAT!
so what's got me dragging my chain?
that freaking 'yes today, no tomorrow' cardiologist told me, again, that he will not clear me for surgery, even though last week he told me he would. his niece, the secretary, even confirmed it, because he said it to me in front of her and in front of my kids. so now he wants me back in his office monday to 'discuss' it. i told him to not even fix his mouth to say anything else to me, that he should speak to dr kazeem, my endocrinologist and PCP, who actually referred me for the procedure. well, he was kinda taken aback by that, but my mind is made up. his monkey ain't stopping my show! i will call dr kazeem MYSELF tomorrow morning, and we'll get to the freakin' bottom of this here thing!
whew! guess i'm kinda mad, huh?
i just KNEW he was gonna try somthing like this, but i'm not gonna stand still for it. it ISN'T that he thinks i should wait (that i could understand, in a way), he just doesn't believe in the procedure. he keeps asking me how much i weigh and what my co-morbidities are. i asked him if he thought i was stupid, or if he thought i believed HE was stupid. as my doctor, he already KNOWS the answer to those dumb questions! he laughed, but i wasn't kidding.
he doesn't think ANYONE should have the surgery if they weigh less than 300#. i have repeatedly told him that my PCP believes it can resolve all my health issues and give me a chance for a more healthy life. he doesn't know it yet, but he will get left by the wayside. i can ALWAYS get another doctor, but i only have this ONE life.
and i'm gon' make a way!
warm up that bench, y'all, cuz i'm COMIN'!
so what's got me dragging my chain?
that freaking 'yes today, no tomorrow' cardiologist told me, again, that he will not clear me for surgery, even though last week he told me he would. his niece, the secretary, even confirmed it, because he said it to me in front of her and in front of my kids. so now he wants me back in his office monday to 'discuss' it. i told him to not even fix his mouth to say anything else to me, that he should speak to dr kazeem, my endocrinologist and PCP, who actually referred me for the procedure. well, he was kinda taken aback by that, but my mind is made up. his monkey ain't stopping my show! i will call dr kazeem MYSELF tomorrow morning, and we'll get to the freakin' bottom of this here thing!
whew! guess i'm kinda mad, huh?
i just KNEW he was gonna try somthing like this, but i'm not gonna stand still for it. it ISN'T that he thinks i should wait (that i could understand, in a way), he just doesn't believe in the procedure. he keeps asking me how much i weigh and what my co-morbidities are. i asked him if he thought i was stupid, or if he thought i believed HE was stupid. as my doctor, he already KNOWS the answer to those dumb questions! he laughed, but i wasn't kidding.
he doesn't think ANYONE should have the surgery if they weigh less than 300#. i have repeatedly told him that my PCP believes it can resolve all my health issues and give me a chance for a more healthy life. he doesn't know it yet, but he will get left by the wayside. i can ALWAYS get another doctor, but i only have this ONE life.
and i'm gon' make a way!
warm up that bench, y'all, cuz i'm COMIN'!
About Me
brooklyn, NY
Location
27.6
BMI
Surgery
06/03/2008
Surgery Date
Nov 29, 2007
Member Since
