fashiondini

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Today is the day.  I havn't been nervous at all but I am startin to feel a liitle anxious right now.  I check into the hospital in 1 hour.  I should have been in surgery right now but they switched two us because of the latex thing so I have to hang onto my hunger and thirst for 3 more hours--feeling a little light headed right now.  I feel all will go well just counting down the minutes.  See everybody soon

Nadine

1 more day

I'm on a liquid diet two days before surgery and I really really don't like it.  I hope it feels different after surgery because I am having major food withdrawal.  I think it was hard to do that today--especially having to run around at work.  We were so busy today--I continuously had customers today and since there were only two of us, I never went to lunch.  I swear I was seeing stars.  Finally I heated up some broth to drink when I was helping my customer and then I felt better.  Of course tonight my thin boyfriend brought home soup and cheese bread.  Maybe I need to send him out to eat tommorow so it is not so painful.  I guess I havn't let myself feel hunger in quite awhile.  But no worries--I'll get throught this.

Well it is two days before my surgery and except for the little freak out I had about 3 weeks ago, I have been relatively calm.  Alot of my customers have come by to wish me well and that makes me feel really good.  I start my liquid diet tommorow and although I ate lite throughout the day, my boyfriend and I just went out for "my last meat".
I had mussels and salad and french bread.  I feel so full.  It will kind of be a relief not to focus so much on all of my lasts and look forward to the future.  My boyfriend and everyone I work with seems to have colds and I am trying so hard to stay healthy, I feel like I am coming down with one but I think it is all in my head.  I just can't wait to do this.  two more days of work and surgery.  Is it wrong to think of surgery as a vacation?  I have saved mine for this surgery so I am in great need of one--at least I'll have a good couple of hours of sleep. 

It is 6 days befor my surgery and I have to work for the next 6 days straight because one of my counterparts decided to go on vacation next week.  Everyone around me is sick at work and Briand has a really bad cold.  Poor Brian--I won't go near him or kiss him BECAUSE I DON"T WANT TO GET SICK in the next 6 days!  Yesterday I got a sonigram, I guess, to check out my go\allbladder and liver.  Also took a urnine test to make sure I am not pregnant  (I know I am not).  But I'm doing everything they ask me to. I went out grocery shopping and bought broths, sugar free popsicles, sugar free jello and snapple to start y liquid diet in a few days.  My life is changing.

It is Christmas day and I am all by myself.  Brian went home to Portland to be with his family and because I work in retail and have to be up and the buttcrack of dawn, I decided I would stay put.  I am trying to feel sorry for myself but I kind of like the alone time.  It is 9 days before my operation.  I have 2 more things to do--a stomach x-ray and a pregnancy test.  Then it's operating time.  I've been eating each meal like it is my last including my prime rib, potatoes and stuffing meal topped off with tiramasu for dessert that is waiting for me tonight.  I had my last glass of wine a couple of nights ago and after tonight I need to get back to healthier, smaller portions.  48 hours before surgery I then have to go on a total liquid diet.  I think I'm already mourning my best friend--food.  I need to get a grip on this and really dig deep into my soul to cope with the loss that is coming up and discover a new bff. 

It's Saturday morning and I'm waiting to go to work.  Two days before Christmas and it is not a pretty site in the retail world.  Today I will be helping desparate men who have not carefully thought out gifts that their wives or girlfriends might actualy appreciate.  Like my boyfriend.  Don't get me wrong, I have the most loving, supportive, trustworthy giving boyfriend in the world but I have to say when it comes to giving gifts, he is a little challenged.  I have to admit, I am a little spoiled (mostyly by myself) and tend to like the better things in life.  I would rather hold out for a really nice handbag that I saved for than settle for the knockoff.  My laptop seems to be dying and he got me a 5 year old refurbished computer--oh no no no--when it comes to electronic gadgets, I need the latest which is surprising on his part since he is a computer geek.  I guess this is how we think differently.  But as I think about this, I feel how unimportant this is in the scheme of things.  I just keep thinking about this operation and want so much to get my energy back.  It's not that I am a slug--I have no problem going out for an hour walk or a 5 mile hike in the mountains--it just takes me longer than it did before.  I actually have to wobble to get myself off the floor like one of those wobbly toys.  I get tired at work and let my coworkers take over selling because my feet hurt so much and that commission just doesn't seem as important..  Every meal I have right now seems like my last.  Last night I had to split a banana and pecan crepe with Brian and I thought no more of this.  I really need to start dealing with the reality of this operation.  I have to admit, I'm stressed out but keep trying to put it in the back of my mind and get through this holiday season.

I am trying to survive this holiday season in retail but since I am at my heaviest, I tire so easily and just want to come home and cuddle up in bed.  There is so much drama and downtime in my store that it is rewarding to go to lunch or to eat to get through the day.  I really have to face this issue and find a substitue after my surgery.  I'm going to our 
Christmas party tonight so this will be the last alcohol before my surgery January 4.  I don't drink very much anyway so it is no big deal.
I went to see Myra today and she went over the surgery and I signed all the consent forms.  I've been reading all the memorials on this site and it saddens me that people have died and scared me a little.  My boyfriend , Brian, had to pull me away from the computer.  Anyway, besides making me sad, I also felt more informed on what can go wrong.  I will call if anything feels weired and I made sure to go over blood clots with Myra.  I feel a little more reassured again.  Now I am just patiently waiting until this thing gets here. I want in to be here now!
 

I have been thinking about this weight loss surgery for the last 5 years
and have steadily been working toward this the entire year.  I can't believe that I am actually almost there.  I am having the surgery on January 4 at 7:30 in the morning.  Everything has gone so smoothly so far and has fallen into place.  Yesterday I had blood tests and an ekg.  I then met with all of Dr. Anwar's other patients--some who have only had the surgery one week ago.  I was getting all the helpful hints that I could about water and protein.  I am getting really excited and have gotten the time off work that I need.  20 days to go.