5-20-2011

May 19, 2011

I am now looking forward to my one year mark.  I have about two weeks left until that day.  Where has the time gone?  I honestly can't believe it has been that long.  Nobody else can either when I mention it.  I am hoping to reach 100 pounds lost by that date.  I think I can do it, I only have 2.2 pounds left.  The only thing that will stop me is if I hit another stall.  I'm really hoping it happens though.  I have had a lot of ups and downs through this journey and there have been many many times that I didn't think I would make it this far because I would hit one stall after another, but it does come off eventually.  Some people just have a hard time at it, but when you look back, you see it does happen.  So whatever you do (new people) try not to get too discouraged along the way.  It's easy to do when you focus on the short term, like what the scale has said for the last week or so, but when you get to a year plus, and look back, you see all the progress that you have made.   That is when you are amazed at all the changes.  

My family is starting to tell me that I am getting too skinny.  I think this is a normal response since they are so use to me being overweight.  I  know this isn't the case since I am still considered overweight on the charts.  If I could have plastics done, I would be at a normal weight I'm sure, but that isn't something that will happen at this time, if ever.  When I say I need to lose at least another 30 or so pounds, they start to look at me like I'm crazy.  I could totally understand it if I was a size 2, but I'm not.  I currently wear a size 10.  

Shopping has become so much fun.  The only problem I have now is buying things that are small enough.  For some reason I keep trying to buy a size larger.  When I get it home and try it on, I realize it is too big and have to take it back for a smaller size.  I never thought that would happen.  Even when I hold pants up and think they look too small, they somehow fit.  That is probably one of the best feelings.  I absolutely love shopping now.  I always seem to find really cute clothes.  I also love shoes now.....high heel shoes that is.  It is very rare for me to have a flat shoe on anymore.  I just love heels.  :)

I am feeling great.  I try to take my vitamins daily and drink my protein.  If I forget for a few days, I start to feel tired.  I try to eat healthy, but I have to be honest, I don't eat very much.  If I eat two actual meals in a day, I feel pretty guilty about it.  For some reason, I feel like I overate.  I know that I haven't, but I also know how I lose and eating two meals in a day is not how it happens for me.  I don't really like food a whole lot anymore.  It truly is just fuel for my body most of the time.  I get tired but that is usually because I don't sleep much.  I have turned to caffeine to make it through my days and the biggest thing I consume in a day is my cup of teas.  I have several of those.  I still fight nausea a lot, and go on and off the Carafate.  I know the caffeine doesn't help, but it is the one thing I enjoy and most days, it is how I make it through my day since I work 12.5 hour days.  I'm not complaining since I had stomach issue prior to the surgery.  I get a little tired of feeling sick, but I really am use to it in a sense.  

Life is good right now.  I now know that my future looks bright no matter what life brings.  I hope everyone is doing great on their own personal journey!! 

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