Tina65

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I am so behind on posting.  I so apologize.  I am working full-time and in third semester RN school.  Needless to say, I am extremely busy.  So much has happened in my life.  I just don't have time to explain.  I am doing really well, feeling great, but still need to lose about 20 pounds.  I think I'm kind of  happy where I'm at, but I'd really like to take off the last 20 pounds.  I still feel fat even though people tell me I'm skinny.  Skinny, me.....who ever thought someone would say that about me.  Wow, it feels amazing to hear, but I know that isn't the case since I know what size I wear.  Anyway, I will really try to post soon.  I added a picture so that people can see where I'm at.  I hope everyone is doing great!!  Don't give up, it is so worth it!!  :)

I finally posted my one year photo.  When I look at my first picture and compare it to this one, I honestly wonder who this person is in the picture.  It can't be me.  How did I change so much?!  I still have my times that I feel as though I haven't lost any weight when I look in the mirrow.  Those times are occuring less and less, but they do still happen.  I also feel like my hips are still really big.  I am trying to come to grips with it and realize that they aren't as big as I think.  I still need to lose another 25 pounds, and hopefully that will happen.  If I stopped here, I could live with it, but I hope that isn't the case.  I wear a small to medium top, and usually a size 10 pant.  The waist is always big on the pants so I always have to wear a belt.  I'm okay with that.  lol I love high heals and have no trouble wearing them.  Something I never would have done before.
 
I have a friend who said that he considers me to be skinny......me???  That sounds so weird when he says that.  I never thought someone would describe me as skinny.  I still see all my flaws and usually point them out when someone pays me a compliment.  I guess I'm just not use to it.  My husband says that I am literally skin and bones.  I love the sound of that.  Actually, I love my bones!!  It is such a great feeling to see my collar bones, ribs, hip bones, etc.  I never thought I'd see those again.  I also love how prominent my veins are now in my hands.  Something you could hardly see before.  It's the little things that mean so much now to me.  

I could ramble on and on, but I think you get the picture.  Anyone that has gotten to this point, knows what I am talking about. Everyone else that is on their way, just stick with it and you'll get here too.  It is such an amazing journey!  I hope everyone is doing well and if you have any questions, please feel free to write.  :)

Wow, where has the time gone.  June 4th was one year for me.  As of that day, I had lost 100 pounds.  Wow, I still can't believe that!  That day came and left and not once did I realize what day it was.  It wasn't until a couple of days after that I realized my one year anniversary had passed.  So much has changed.  I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was a year ago. Sure, some things are the same, deep down I still have the same beliefs and love for people, but my attitude about life has changed.  I've been told by a few people that I am more confident.  I would totally have to agree with that.  I'm not afraid to do new things, or meet new people.  This surgery has done so much for me!  I have so much more energy.  People now think that I'm a fast walker and comment about having to keep up with me.  I still have my times when I feel big.  I'm not sure if it's because I have more to lose, or if it's in my head.  I so love to buy clothes now.  I'm not happy with how I look naked, but hey, it's better than it was before.  lol  I struggle at times with food.  I don't really like food and usually prefer not to eat.  When I do feel like eating, I make sure I do.  Some family seems to have an issue with it, but I think it's healthy.  I drink my protein, take my vitamins and eat small amounts of healthy stuff.  I don't eat a lot, but I think that is the idea of the surgery.  lol  In the beginning I hated the way I could only take little sips of drinks.  Now, I take large drinks just like I use to without any problems at all.  That was a big improvement for me.  I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life only taking little sips. I want to lose at least another 30 pounds.  If I do that, I will weigh what I weighed when I got married.  Not sure if I'll be successful or not, but we'll see.  But then I never thought I'd reach 100 pounds either as I was plotting along, and yet I did.  :)  I need to have my labs done and am, curious to see how they are. Hopefully all is okay with those.

I hope everyone is doing well.  For those just starting out, hang in there.  It really does get easier.  Before you know it, you'll be writing about your past year.  :)

I am now looking forward to my one year mark.  I have about two weeks left until that day.  Where has the time gone?  I honestly can't believe it has been that long.  Nobody else can either when I mention it.  I am hoping to reach 100 pounds lost by that date.  I think I can do it, I only have 2.2 pounds left.  The only thing that will stop me is if I hit another stall.  I'm really hoping it happens though.  I have had a lot of ups and downs through this journey and there have been many many times that I didn't think I would make it this far because I would hit one stall after another, but it does come off eventually.  Some people just have a hard time at it, but when you look back, you see it does happen.  So whatever you do (new people) try not to get too discouraged along the way.  It's easy to do when you focus on the short term, like what the scale has said for the last week or so, but when you get to a year plus, and look back, you see all the progress that you have made.   That is when you are amazed at all the changes.  

My family is starting to tell me that I am getting too skinny.  I think this is a normal response since they are so use to me being overweight.  I  know this isn't the case since I am still considered overweight on the charts.  If I could have plastics done, I would be at a normal weight I'm sure, but that isn't something that will happen at this time, if ever.  When I say I need to lose at least another 30 or so pounds, they start to look at me like I'm crazy.  I could totally understand it if I was a size 2, but I'm not.  I currently wear a size 10.  

Shopping has become so much fun.  The only problem I have now is buying things that are small enough.  For some reason I keep trying to buy a size larger.  When I get it home and try it on, I realize it is too big and have to take it back for a smaller size.  I never thought that would happen.  Even when I hold pants up and think they look too small, they somehow fit.  That is probably one of the best feelings.  I absolutely love shopping now.  I always seem to find really cute clothes.  I also love shoes now.....high heel shoes that is.  It is very rare for me to have a flat shoe on anymore.  I just love heels.  :)

I am feeling great.  I try to take my vitamins daily and drink my protein.  If I forget for a few days, I start to feel tired.  I try to eat healthy, but I have to be honest, I don't eat very much.  If I eat two actual meals in a day, I feel pretty guilty about it.  For some reason, I feel like I overate.  I know that I haven't, but I also know how I lose and eating two meals in a day is not how it happens for me.  I don't really like food a whole lot anymore.  It truly is just fuel for my body most of the time.  I get tired but that is usually because I don't sleep much.  I have turned to caffeine to make it through my days and the biggest thing I consume in a day is my cup of teas.  I have several of those.  I still fight nausea a lot, and go on and off the Carafate.  I know the caffeine doesn't help, but it is the one thing I enjoy and most days, it is how I make it through my day since I work 12.5 hour days.  I'm not complaining since I had stomach issue prior to the surgery.  I get a little tired of feeling sick, but I really am use to it in a sense.  

Life is good right now.  I now know that my future looks bright no matter what life brings.  I hope everyone is doing great on their own personal journey!! 

Wow, today is 11 months for me.  Where does the time go?!?! I honestly can't believe it's been that long!  So much has changed in that period of time.  Of course there is the obvious, I have gotten a lot smaller.  95.6 pounds smaller to be exact.  I'm not averaging 10 pounds a month, but I'm happy with all that I've lost.  I had several months where I only lost about 5 pounds in the month, but I seem to be back on track for now.  I have had to stop eating and be diligent in drinking my protein.  So now, most days consist of two scoops of protein (60 grams) that I take to work with me.  That is my breakfast and lunch.  Then I have a small serving of cottage cheese and a few bites of meat for dinner.  Sometimes I'll throw in an Atkins bar if I want a treat or am still hungry.  This is the only way that I can lose weight.  I am taking my vitamins so I feel great.  I only sleep about 5 hours a night and I seem to have plenty of energy.  I have to confess though, I start my day with a cup of tea and someone got me hooked on the 5 hour energy drinks.  I work a 12 hour day and those seem to help me get through the late afternoon-evening hours.  I'm not happy about all the caffeine, but I figure it could be worse.   I'm hoping to lose 100 pounds by 1 year.  I should be able to do it.  I did get the depoprovera shot the other day and I'm hoping that doesn't slow the weight loss down.  If it does, I won't get it again.  
Although I am looking good with my clothes on, I'm not very happy with how I look naked.  My arm, stomach and legs, leave something to be desired.  I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to fix any of those things, so I'm just trying to be content with how I look clothed.  It is certainly a lot better than how I looked before.

I currently wear a size 10 pants!!  Woohooo!!!  Before losing the weight, I wore a size xxl in scrubs.  I had to go buy some the other day because my current ones were too lose.  I currently wear a medium.  Wow, how did that ever happen?!?!   People are starting to say I am skinny......me.  I know I'm not skinny yet and still have a good amount to lose on my hips and legs, but my upper looks a lot better.  I never knew my clavicles could stick out like they do!!  I like it...I like it a lot!!  hehe 

I now enjoy healthy eating.  I can make bad choices and I won't suffer too much, but I don't want to.  I enjoy eating healthy and feel like I have more energy when I do.  It has now become a decision that I choose to make daily.  I do it for me. 

For all the new people, just stick with it, and you too will do great!!  You also won't believe all the changes you go through.  I hope everyone is doing great!!  :)

Today is ten months since I had surgery.  Where has the time gone to??  So many things have changed for me.  My life is completely different than it was.  I think I will list just a few things that come to mind:

1.   I no longer feel fat when meeting someone for the first time
2.   My self confidence is much higher
3.   I can buy clothes off of any rack at the store
4.   I don't think about eating most of the time
5.   I have more energy
6.   I have an amazing job
7.   I can jog (I just don't do it enough)
8.   Walking on the treadmill is now easy
9.   I like what I see in the mirror (most of the time)
10. I love shopping for clothes
11. My hair color (I wanted to go totally blonde but my stylist gave me a heavier weave. I'm not happy with it so I'm going to talk to someone tomorrow about doing the rest. I'm finally brave enough to try blonde)

So many other things have happened, but it is hard to list them all.  I have absolutely no regrets, except that I didn't do it soon.  I was afraid of different changes that might occur and honestly, none of them have happened.  It has just been one amazing journey!!  I can't say everything is easy.  Sometimes the head hunger can be strong.  I hate when that happens.  I deal with it pretty good now and every once in awhile I will give in to it and eat something.  I have just learned to try and pick something that isn't too bad for me when that happens.  

I hope everyone is doing well!  :)

I am no longer considered obese, according to my BMI.......I am now overweight.  Yay!!  Wow, that is sure exciting.  This has so been worth everything.  Would I do this again??  YES, and I wouldn't have to think about it.  I can't think of anything that would hold me back.  :) 

Wow, I am finally under 170 pounds.  I never thought I would see this again.  Next short goal, to be in the 150's.  I have started losing weight again.  Working has helped a lot since I don't eat much when I'm at work.  Unfortunately, I only work 3 days a week.  I work twelve hour days so as long as I don't have anything else around to eat, I stick to this pretty well.  I try to follow it at home, but I usually eat a little bit more.  My new routine is to drink my tea when getting ready for work, I take two scoops of protein powder which equals 60 grams of protein and drink that until lunch time.  Then for lunch, I have one scoop of cottage cheese, or tuna fish, and then for dinner I eat a small piece of meat.  Sometimes I have another shake at night, but that isn't the norm.  This seems to be the key for me since I think I have lost 10 pounds since I started working and that has been a little less than a month ago.  Hopefully it continues.  I am feeling great.  I make sure I take my vitamins everyday which seems to be helping too.   It feels so good to put on my scrubs and to look half way decent in them.  

I hope everyone is doing great with their own journey.  :)

I almost forgot to mention something really exciting that happened to me yesterday.  I was at work and my son (who also works at the same hospital) stopped in to say hello to me.  While there, he ran into a nurse that he knows and that I recently met.  After he left, she asked me if he was my brother.  She was totally serious.  I told her I really really like her and then said that he was my son.  Wow, that was a good feeling.  Totally made my day!!  :)

I can't believe the scale is finally moving down again.  I have only been losing about 5 pounds a month, but this month has been different so far.  I have lost about 7 pound so far this month and the month isn't over yet.  

I have changed a few things since last seeing the nurse at my doctors office.  I am now drinking 60 grams of protein, taking my vitamins and because of work, eating very little during the day.  I know I have to basically eliminate food in order to lose weight, (have always been that way), but it isn't easy to do.  If I eat three small meals a day, I never lose.  Because of work, I drink my shake between 7-8 in the morning, have a small serving of cottage cheese or tuna for lunch around 2-3 in the afternoon and then a small portion of meat at night and that is helping me to lose.  I am at work 12.5 hours a day when I work so by the time I get home, I eat and go to bed.  No time for snacking.  :) I am also trying to go to the gym as often as possible.  It sure feels good to see the scale going down.  It also feels good to see bones showing....I so love that look.  :)  I am still hoping to reach 100 pounds lost by 1 year, but we'll see if that happens.  I am coming up on 10 months and have only lost 80 pounds so far.  We'll see what happens.  I would like to lose another 50 or so.  Life is pretty good right now.  I'm feeling good even though I'm not sleeping much so I guess all that I'm doing is paying off.

I hope everyone is doing great on their own personal journey!!  :)