Why I Haven't Had My Revision Yet

Sep 13, 2011

Believe me, if it were up to me, this would be done by now. 

Dr. Simper is apparently intent on sending me on a wild scavenger hunt that consists entirely of me collecting OKs from various specialists. 

I need an OK from my cardiologist, because of my Mystery Tachycardia, who says (My doctor, not my Mystery Tachycardia) my problem is due to dumping. 

Then I need an OK from my endocrinologist. I need to do a test to see if my adrenals, which have been sleeping for two years, are awake enough for me to have surgery. The problem with this test is that I have to get up early for it, and I just don't do mornings well. All my life I've been accused of being a vampire...just not a sexy or powerful or rich one who sparkles. (And I don't drink blood. You do believe that, right? Right?) I've been thinking of changing continents, thinking that maybe I'd become a morning person, but I'd probably just get my days and night mixed up there too. 

Now I need an OK from my gastroenterologist, due to my stomach acting up. My PCP says my problem is yeast overgrowth, which I believe is caused by the Florinef my cardiologist prescribed, to fix my Mystery Tachycardia, which is caused by dumping. 

I wonder who I'll have to get an OK from next? Maybe my mom? She'll have to sign a permission slip, maybe? I'm thinking it would read like this:

Dear Dr. Simper,

My daughter is good to go.

Love, her mom

Oh, and then I get to do some silly diet to prove that I can eat right. Or something like that. I don't know. I haven't got that far into this yet and apparently the rules are just a tiny bit different for revision patients. I get the impression that it's all up to whatever Dr. Simper feels like making me do that day. 

Wanting to get this show on the road? Frustrated about it? Me?

In Dr. Simper's defense, I can understand his caution. Revision carries a host of potential complications and really, I'd like to be in the best possible physical condition before surgery as well. And let's face it: my adrenals may not be strong enough yet. I'd heard it takes a year for the adrenals to start functioning after long-term steroid use. Of course at the rate I'm going...

0 Comments