Cheryl S.

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My reply....HELL YEAH!!!!!   Scale Victory and size victory too!  I am down in the 250's on the scale and I couldn't figure out what had happened to my dressing on my port drain thingy, I have shrank is what happened and now the only thing holding it on is the tape.  I can't believe it.  I'm so excited! 
Also, yesterday I had cabin fever and hubby was taking the boys out for mexican food (my favorite mind you) and I told them I wanted to go.  They just looked at me, I said what I'm going crazy here I need to go somewhere.
So we went they ate and I drank.  It did not bother me at all.  As a matter of fact I found out they have a child's fajita plate so when I can eat we can go back and I can order it.  Plus guess what the best part was?  Our entire bill for a family of four under $20.00.....
So yes all of this has been worth it.  I'm really excited to see what tomorrow brings...

Well first things first.  I still have one drainage tube (might come out today) and some staples (those too might come out today).  But, this a.m. I decided to step on the scale just to check if anything was ever going to give there.
Well much to my suprise it has, not the dramatic 20 lb loss I expected (and still expect) but I'm down 4 since my check in weight of the hospital.  That is something!  Another non scale victory, and this may gross some of you out but I can wipe my own booty now (this was a HUGE accomplishment and relief for dear oh DH, trust me)...LOL  I had sort of been trying my best but wilh the surgery gear still in place it was just pulling and tugging in all the wrong places which really hurt.   Anyways, it's good wake up to positives!  
Have a great day!

Separating Food From Feelings
by Vicki R. Pierson, ACE Certified Personal Trainer

From the day we enter this world we naturally learn to associate food with love, nurturing and warmth. As infants, being fed by our mothers was accompanied by the security of being held and gently rocked. As a child, you may have been rewarded with food for behaving well. Or maybe when you were hurt, physically or emotionally, you were given a special treat or meal to make you feel better. As an adult, it's likely that you continued the practice of rewarding yourself, lifting your spirit, or searching for love through the same means... eating.
Given these circumstances, it's not surprising why many people confuse hunger for food with their hunger for emotional fulfillment. Take a moment and think about your eating patterns. Do you eat when you're anxious, frustrated, bored, angry, sad, lonely or even when you want to celebrate something? Often during these emotional eating episodes the foods that are chosen are fatty, salty, sweet and/or high in calories. Even if low calorie foods are eaten to fill an emotional hunger, food is being used inappropriately. Food should only be used to nourish the body, not the soul.
How can you stop this unhealthy cycle? The first step is awareness. One of the best tools to help you gain awareness about your eating patterns is to keep a food diary. In addition to when and what you eat, record how you are emotionally feeling when you eat. If keeping a food diary is not for you, try taking a few moments before you eat to get in touch with how you're feeling emotionally. The objective with either technique is to make you aware of your emotional eating patterns and give you the opportunity to cope with emotional hunger in a more constructive manner.
Coping with Emotional Hunger
Once you consciously begin distinguishing physical hunger from emotional hunger you'll need techniques to help you cope with your emotions. The techniques discussed here are not intended to address serious emotional issues that require professional treatment. Rather, they can assist you in coping with common emotions that cause you to eat when you're not physically hungry.
Sort your feelings out. Instead of munching on a bag of chips without thought, take some time-out to sort through your feelings. This way, you can sort out your feelings without the added guilt of overeating. Many times, the simple realization that you're feeling bored because there's nothing interesting on TV is enough to get you engaged in some other activity that's more fulfilling.
Face your feelings later. Once you realize that you're reaching for food out of emotional hunger, you may elect to take a short vacation from your feelings_ without eating. Make an agreement with yourself to engage in some other activity and deal with the emotional issue at a specific time in the future.
The loving heart exercise. This is an exercise designed to fill yourself with love. Find a comfortable place to sit and relax without distraction. Close your eyes and hold your hands, cupped like a bowl, in your lap. Think of someone in your life who deeply loves you or whom you love deeply. Now, visualize this love as something tangible_ feel the dense, soft, warm love fill your cupped hands. When the love fills your hands so much that you can no longer hold it all, bring your hands toward your heart and take a deep breath. Inhale all this pure love deep into your body. Continue to breath deeply and slowly until all the love you've been holding in your hands is now in your heart being pumped out to your body. Feel the warmth of this love saturate every fiber of your being. As you bask in this feeling, say to yourself, "I am filled with love. I am love. I have value"
It's not uncommon for this exercise to result in an immediate emotional release in the form of tears. If this happens, don't be startled or embarrassed by your reaction. Continue to relax, breathe deeply and feel the love emanating from inside you.
Seek professional assistance if needed. There are some deep emotional issues that can manifest themselves into eating disorders. If your emotional eating feels way out of your control, don't hesitate to seek some professional assistance.
Substituting Alternate Activities
Each coping technique concludes with the requirement to find some activity, other than eating, to engage yourself in. Make a list of activities to substitute for eating and keep it handy for reference... you may want to put it on your refrigerator! The activities can be anything that aren't associated with food or eating. List fun activities such as going for a walk surfin' the Internet, reading a good book, calling a friend, etc. You can also list required activities such as washing the dishes, emptying the garbage, doing the laundry, cleaning house, etc. Here are a few examples:
Stress: Visualize yourself in a calm, relaxing place while you take in slow, deep breaths. If you want to learn yoga or meditation, go to your local video store and check out a video tape on the subject.
Boredom: Most everyone experiences this emotion at one time or another. Select any activity from your list or engage in some physical activity!
Loneliness: Get together with, call or write a relative or friend, volunteer some of your time, join an organization, or get involved in your community.
Depression/Sadness: Try to identify the reason for your depression. Once identified, try putting your feelings into words either in a journal or by talking with a friend. If the depression is due to a major issue or event, seek professional counseling.
Frustration: Identify the source of your frustration then confront it and deal with it, if possible. Use positive communication skills to express your feelings and desires. Don't be un-necessarily confrontational, angry or place blame.
Anger: Take a time-out and calm yourself down by using relaxation techniques or going for a walk. Once relaxed, try to deal with the situation that's causing the anger using positive communication skills.
Anxiety: Try to find the cause of your anxiety. If it's caused by coffee or something you've taken internally try to find a way to correct the situation from happening again. If it's emotional, try some deep breathing and relaxation exercises. (See Stress)
Tiredness: Take a short nap or get some exercise.
In the Mood to Celebrate: By all means, celebrate! Get together with friends, go to a movie, buy something you've been wanting, or go dancing... use your imagination. A celebration doesn't mean food must be involved.
___________________
Nan Kathryn Fuchs, PhD, "When Feelings Make Food Irresistible," IDEA Resource Series, 1993.
Habits Not Diets, James M. Ferguson, M.D., Bull Publishing Company, 1988.
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Well I'm working 1/2 days from home now and it sucks to sit here with staples and a drain in trying to work.  I can't really sit here for long periods of time so I have to take frequent breaks but it's only 1/2 days so I can do it.
I am feeling better today, have itchies on the sites which drive me nuts upon occasion.   well anyways. I'll post more later.

Well went in today and got all my stitches, 1/2 my staples and another drain tube removed.  He wants me to come back tomorrow (if it's not all icy on the roads as they are predicting).  
I am feeling better still swollen, no weight loss but I know as soon as my body re-adjusts I'll get a big surprise.  I have been following instructions to a "T" so no doubt I'll wake up and be like 20 or so pounds just gone...
I'll be updating my BMI logger then.  
Otherwise.  I'm a bit sore though from the removal of the listed items above.  I am going to take some tylenol and since it's raining I guess I'll watch some TV as I cannot sit here for long periods of time like I used too.  
So be happy everyone.  I am beginning to feel the changes in my body (other than pain and owies) and know soon I can actually eat a little bit of food again and will enjoy the tastes and textures where before I just wanted the fattening junk cause it was yummy, I can't immagine now why I mean I practically inhaled it, and it's crap.  Strange how our minds play us!

Well I'm feeling better today, still having some pain which is to be expected and lots of swelling (cannot wait for that to go away).  I am getting in all my fluids and protein as well as walking.  So I'm doing everything I was told to do.  I go tomorrow and hopefully they will take something out a drain or a staple or something???  We shall see.  
Anyways, I need to rest but did want to blog.  I just got back from a walk it's so pretty outside right now.  I love it.  

Ok, well sorry for the delay but my experience hasn't been anything to brag about.  I had my surgery and in less than 12 hours had a leak another surgery.  I got to leave the hospital yesterday and am home (yippee) with 2 drains still and 7 incisions instead of 5.  But on the brighter side they said it happened so suddenly that I could have died so I am very grateful fo being here.  I'm still extremely sore and am really trying to get in my liquids, yesterday was the first day I did get the 40 in, trying again today while reading "before & after" someone gave me (which is encouraging, although I doubt I will ever have to deal with 5 star resturants on a seemingly daily basis as she does but it's encouraging none the less).  
It really is good to be home and around my family even if I can't do anything for them just yet.  I'm so swollen and I hope it goes down soon I know having back to back surgeries only amplifies the swelling, but I just want it gone.  
Anyways, I'm going to go back to my book.  I'll try to blog more later. 

I am feeling all sorts of mixed emotions from scared to death to excited and even sad for some reason.  It's like the death of the old me and a rebirth of who I will become, yeah I know I'm getting weird here but it's true.  
For about 25 years food has dictated to me and that has all stopped.  It will never be that way again and I think it is a mourning period for this and although it sounds riduclous I'm saying goodbye to the old me and sad for the comfort I found in food that I will no longer have.  Food is now a fuel that my body needs to survive and not a source of comfort any longer.    
So, goodbye old body, goodbye old habits, goodbye to all the feelings which made me eat.  My body cannot absorb all of these things by a means of food.  It was never meant to to begin with, the body which houses health and my soul which I was trying to feed with food for comfort will now have to be comforted the right way, through dealing with those emotions.  
Hello renewed health, hello renewed energy, hello to a new "me"!
You are welcome. 

Well I went and pre registered at the hospital and they took my temp and it was 99.4 and she told me if my WBC was elevated they would cancel my surgery.  I was like NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! this can't be happening.  
She said it's probably nothing and just because I had my coat on or something.  I was like "I certainly hope so".  She asked me if she wanted me to call her as soon as the labs were back so I wouldn't worry needlessly?  I said yes please.  So I went on and got my mani/pedi thing and while I was in the chair she called me and said my labs were great!  I was just thanking God let me tell you.  I don't even want to think what I would have done if they had canceled this.  So now I'm home and about to drink my yucky stuff.  Oh and they moved my surgery to 9am so I have to check in at 7:15 am (no later) so Jim (dh) said great I can't take you now.  So I thought I was going to have to drive but my nail lady and I have formed a good friendship and she said she would take me (she just had the band last week).  She is the sweetest and she lives not far so it's not too bad for her.  So I should be done by 12 noon at the latest.  I am now allowing myself to become fully excited w/o reservations.  It is going to happen, finally after all these years. 

Well tomorrow is the BIG day!  I have plans today to go get my labs done this morning (and pre register at the hospital) and then have a mani/pedi and finally home to drink the wonderful magnesium citrate!  Clear liquids until midnight (or whenever I go to bed) then nothing until tomorrow.
My scale hasn't moved and I'm doing everything I should eating and drinking wise.  I think I will add in walking around the mall after my mani/pedi.  
Well got to get the kiddos moving around, life still goes on with the family...
will blog more later today I'm sure, I have so many emotions going on, it's surreal actually, I just feel like I'm standing back watching everything...