Tammi H.

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I am so happy, I only have 4 more pounds to go to have lost 160lbs since 2007 when I was 320. Don't know how long it will tke me to get there, but I am doing everything I can to reach that. It will also be that I am only 10 lbs from my goal weight of 150. I may never see 150 but I can sure try.

I just want to reach 160 then I will be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY. That will be 160 I have lost and I will weight 160 of course, now doesn't that seem like a good goal? I think it does. For I am going to reach this, I only have 8 more lbs to go to reach it. So yes this is reachable, but it will take work of course, and that I am giving it my all.

This always sucks when one's weight loss slows down, to a crawl, to the point of almost stopping all together. Now stopping is not most likely not what is happening, just a major slow down has taken place. I am 19 pounds from reaching normal weight on the bmi scale, so looking forward to seeing this weight coming on, just wonder for how long I will have to wait in order to reach the goal weight.

Been doing quite a bit of walking since I started to take the bus, haven't been to the Y one time since getting the bus pass. This kinda sucks. I have to start making time for it and soon, but then again I am thinking about Monday calling them and letting them know that I have to put the direct withdrawals on hold till the beginning of January, which will be the third or fourth month.

Missing Ray, but time apart is a good thing I guess lol. Just haven't received my good mornings from him yet. SO not sure what to think, have to not allow this to push me into comfort eating, I can't do that any more. I will remain focused on my health. While also trying to focus on this newly developed relationship.

I'm in a new relationship, while I have longed for this to happen, the bad side of it has come out, lack of trips to the YMCA, and not eating as I usually do. So it is a challenge to figure out time for the relationship, but at the same time making time for the Y. I really have to keep my focus on continuing this weight loss journey to the end. But don't want to sacrifice this awesome relationship either, so what am I to do? I guess the answer to this would be to make time for meals and for me. Give this all a chance to work it's self out. God is in control...

 I am so sleepy, only slept for about 4.5 hours. I don't want to take a nap, would like to spend time with BF, but not sure of when that will happen. Grrrr.

Thinking it is finally absorbing in to the amount of weight I have lost total since 2007, but most important is that I have lost almost 100 lbs since 2010 or 2011 and so am thankful that I have been able to loose again the weight I regained after surgery, and then some. I am still loosing, and hope I don't stop until I reach my goal of 145-150. Might give myself a break and settle for 150-155, that is if I can't get a tummy tuck. Of course I really want to see 150 for then I will NO LONGER BE OVERWEIGHT. It feels good to not be OBESE any more, just being overweight is feeling pretty good as well. People tell me that I don't look that big when I tell them I am 20-25 lbs over weight still. That is so close to my normal/goal weight, and I am really excited believing it is within reach and I will not stop trying to reach it. Even if it takes me forever. It has seemed to take me forever to get to where I am now any ways. It didn't happen in the first year for me, well I did reach 180 the first year but it didn't last long at all. I regained up to 265 lbs, so only 4ish more pounds and it will be 100 lbs lost again.

Weight loss has slowed down. Question is, can I do this? I just want the weight off, and sooner the better, but guess the whole process has been slow for me what is this going to be, right? I can do this slow, I have to , I really don't have much I can really do about it.

I have started focusing more on the YMCA. Been starting to do weight training and cardio, instead of just swimming. So I am all happy about that, no longer just doing one thing at the Y. Today after I meet with Joseph at 12 I will then head back home for lunch, or take it, and go to the Y even with the date, I can't afford to stay home again today, that will make 4 days in a row, and 3 days in a row is bad enough. I just don't want to do 4 if I can avoid it at all.

Still doing the protein shake in the morning, and really need to do one in the evening after dinner sometime, cus I find I want to munch after dinner until bed time. Still loosing doing that, but I would probably loose faster if I wasn't doing that. So this month think I will try adding another shake.

I will be breaking the diet this week end, or so I am hoping so. Neighbor/friend promised to take mom and I out to eat. MMMM Pizza, I have been wanting it every since I started this diet. So I am 18-25 #s from my goal weight, I think it is a good month to allow treats (non sugar) treats into the picture once to twice a month. I will make for a close eye on the scales, and my reactions to hunger, and to how I just do over all. I won't let nothing get out of control.

Can't keep my eyes opened much longer so guess this is where I get off of this thing and put it down. Good night.

It is hard to grasp the fact I am 18-25Lbs from my goal weight in the BMI chart. I just have to keep telling myself this. Other wise I just feel larger then I probably am. I am having emotional issues with the stomach/extra skin it makes me look so chubby and fat feeling. I just hope and pray that I can get the surgery. Won't know anything until after Feb. 4, 2014, months from now. Well there might be an open and I might get called, but they told me it never happens, so mark that out lol.

I really want to be at the YMCA every other day, but with all the migraines I have been getting has been preventing me from attending like I would like to. So just going to have to suck it up. and still go even when I am having a bad day, go and do a mile + on the treadmill of just walking, I should be able to do that so long as I am NOT having the severe pain at that moment. So I just have to get busy doing this, for I really want this, I NEED THIS.... Either every other day, or Mon, Wed. and Fri. It is just so hard when I have suffered pain/migraine that day, it takes so much out of me. Gonna cowgirl up.

I have decided to embark on the journey to seeing if I can get the pannilectomy (tummy tuck) and I have an appointment for a visit with the University of Washington Dr  Feb 4th 2014, yep that far in advance, can't believe it, but I am going to get in and do everything I can do to get this done, because I am tired of looking fat in my stomach area, the smell if I don't have time to tend to it, and the sores I have gotten there before and now that summer is here I will get them again. This will not be a quick journey, and it most likely won't end the way I need it to, I know I sound negative, but I just don't want to hope to hard for a maybe. But the fight is on the do everything I can do on my part to get this done. I am still loosing weight, so by the time I see the dr I will be at my goal weight and will hold it there for awhile, they may make me wait awhile longer to make sure that I am able to maintain the weight, or yet they may not, all kinds of hurdles that could possible be in my way to getting this done. One loop/hurdle at time is all I can do, take one at a time.

I have reached another goal. I wanted to see 175 so badly, which I did and now I am looking forward to seeing 169, Wow, I know I can do this, never thought I would be at 175. Last time I saw this I was 18-19 (1988-1989 )  and I thought I was just the biggest fat person there was. But not feeling that way now. Feeling pretty positive and confident person looking forward to my goal of 154 or lower, I want to no longer be overweight, just want to see normal weight on the bmi chart.