Dan, I am pre-op so I have not walked your path, however, one thing I have learned in my 60 years on this earth is that we will have trials. But, it has also been reinforced to me through my husband's battle with cancer that no matter what the eyes see or the ears hear--God is still God--He still loves you and cares about what you are going through. Our prayers are with you--keep looking up for your strength.