michigangirlatheart

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I went to my doc appt and he agreed to do the tummy tuck IF my insurance (tricare/military insurance) approves me.  I hope that they do.  Either way, I am going to be okay with it.  I am under 200 lbs for the first time in YEARS! I am at 193 lbs as of the 1st of June.  That puts my total weight loss since starting my journey a grand total of....drum rolling here.......143 lbs.  Can you believe that? I can't!  I am still 13 lbs from goal though.  Things are looking up for me in all parts of my life.  I have struggled with removing negative people from my life.  It is funny how as soon as I do that, I lose 14 lbs in the time since I talk to them.  Maybe the drama that they brought to my life caused me to feel far worse than I did.   Well the doc had me on a diet for a few days that was the diet I was on at the beginning of this whole journey.  I lost 3 lbs on it and it was meant to give me rapid weight loss.  The only thing it did give me was blackouts.  I was so sick.  I started eating again.  I decided that getting the tummy tuck was not worth getting sick for.  So I am still losing and being sensible with it.  I will get as close as I can WITHOUT making myself sick.  I am not silly like some people and going to go on diets that are not healthy for me.

Well next week (actually a week and one day from now and counting) I meet with my surgeon about my tummy tuck.  I am not yet at goal but I think that after talking with my surgeon and being so close, he will consider doing it so I don't have to live with my "front butt" for the rest of my life.  It is harder to work out with it there, it is unattractive to me, not to mention health concerns.  I am so excited about the prospect of getting it done before the military sends us on to the next assignment.  We should get orders in June and depending on surgery dates, be out of here in August.  The military wants us to move in August so that is the plan as of now.  I am super excited about all the changes coming this year...not just the ones that have happened. 

 I have to say, I know I live a blessed life.  I have a wonderful husband who supports me, lifts me up when I am feeling down and brings me back to earth when I am too full of myself (ha ha).  My daughter is truly a gift from GOD!  I am so blessed to have her.  She is my rock.  Without her, I would be a shell of a person.  She gives me life! 

Okay, so it hasn't been 8 months yet and I have lost over 130 lbs so far.  I have a few more to go and I will get there.  The closer you get to goal, the harder it is to drop.  I will never try a crazy diet though to reach my goal weight.  I will not put my health into jeopardy.  I do not believe that people realize the long term effects of such "fad" diets.  We are all here because they don't work in the long run.  If you do not teach yourself to eat healthy, you wasted your time, your surgeons time and a LOT of money.  It is a bit crazy to me to be honest.  Why would you sabotage yourself?  Thankfully I don't live unhealthy any longer.  I took the tool my doctor gave me and I am using it to live a better, healthier life.  I know he is proud of me, he tells me so!

I know that I have to clean my life up.  By this I mean getting rid of the negative people that I have dealt with.  Some are family, some are friends, and some are people I have met since surgery.  I don't want to surround myself with unhealthy people any longer.  I do not mean overweight people, so please don't take it that way.  It is a mental unhealthiness that I speak of.  I can not let myself be brought into the unhealthy world that these people live in.  What hurts the most is that some of these people, that have had Gastric Bypass, should have been found during Psych Evals and they were passed over somehow.  It truely bothers me and that is why I researched the surgery so much before going through with it.  I think that it is too easy to have the surgery honestly.  You have to be in the right mindset to follow through with this.  And I do not believe that you should stop talking to someone once you meet the requirements to have surgery.  I am a firm believer that everyone should seek counseling.  It is nice to talk to an unbiased party about daily life.  Not that you have to have something "wrong" with you....that is a myth.  I am taking time off right now, but I am going to get my degree in Psychology one day.  Somedays I believe I should go toward nutrition instead.  Maybe "fix" people so they do not have to have the surgery that I had.  I would like to teach people the healthy way to live, tell them my story and teach them that there is a better way.  Who WANTS to go through this surgery and life post op?!?

I had an appointment with my surgeon on April 6th.  I was down another 4 lbs at the visit.  I was super excited but a bit disappointed.  It is hard to get use to the weight slipping off slower now that I am closer to goal.  I have said all along that I thought 140 lbs was unrealistic for me if you consider my height.  I was looking over some charts and I looked at some pics of me from high school and I thought to myself, I am going to be fine with 170/175 lbs.  Well when I went to see the doctor, he said the magic number was 180 lbs for me.  I need to get there by July so I can have my tummy tuck.  That won't be a problem.  I am sure if I put my mind to it, stick to the new diet he gave me and keep doing my workouts and walks, I will be there even before that.  I am looking very nice now I think.  If I took off much more weight I would look sick.  I know that.  I am real about it.  I have seen many people who are not doing what they should to stay at a healthy weight and they look sick too.  I am going to stay healthy.  I said that all along!  Now that I know how to handle my iron pills that were upsetting my stomach, I am going to have a whole new experience.  So all along, what I thought was dumping...it was just my iron making me sick to my stomach, or making my stomach sick rather.  I would get cramping and usually "throw up" after eating (no matter what the amount...sometimes sugar free freezer pops made me "throw up").  I have a lot of stress in my life too.  My daughter's health is all over the place lately.  UGH!  It is funny because all of the mind games that my mind was playing, they seem to be fading away.  I see that I am thin now.  I think that I look nice.  I am ready to shop, buy new glasses (well get some in the first place) and do all the things I have wanted to do for YEARS!!!  My daughter and I have plans this summer.  I am super excited....the future looks bright....and FIT!  I am going to take up going to the gym and working out more.  I need to do that.  I have met so many people just out and about who have had the surgery.  There is a local woman who I like very much.  She is fun, funny and just a lot of...well FUN!  I hope that we can continue making a friendship.  Well I wish everyone luck.  I hope all are well.  Keep your fingers crossed for me as well.  If anyone wants to pass along experiences with the TT, let me know...I want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly!

A friend on here, Renee (from Michigan), posted this in a blog that she wrote.  I want to share it with all of you.  I know that now that I am 6+ months post op, I feel that I can eat more of certain foods.  Those are the days that I worry!  I have yet to have had weight gain, but the weight loss has SLOWED down!!  This site tells you how you can make sure your pouch has not stretched, and if yours has, how to "fix" it.  I am not going to try it as of yet, but if I ever need to....  So here it is: www.5daypouchtest.com   Good luck!

Heather

PS Chelsea, my daughter is on her meds and we have not seen any real signs of seizures.  The meds sure make her grumpy though!!

Okay, I have been going through a lot of stress over the past few months.  I think that this has contributed to much of my not feeling well.  I have been so busy that in all honesty made me forget to drink my water.  It is true that I am not, nor have I ever been, a fan of water (thanks to Environmental Biology Class in High School).  I do drink it though, just not as much as I should.  I think that this has been the cause of my dizzy spells.  I also think that I have not been consuming enough liquids PERIOD!  So I have been more aware of the fluids I take in.  I am not drinking out of my plastic "jug" they gave me at the hospital.  I can't stand that plastic taste.  So I drink out of glass, no plastic here.  So things are much better in that department. I also think that my feeling cold all the time is due to the fact that I have lost 118 lbs in just over 6 months.  That has to do something to the body.  My fat reserves, my blanket if you will, is not here to give me warmth as before.  All of my blood tests come back fine so I am assuming that the liquids and the fat is the cause to my issues.  I go to see my doc on the 6th of April.  I pray that he will make the decision to remove my belly skin even though I am not at "goal".  Again, I think my "goal" has changed.  I would love to be 140 lbs, but I will be fine at a higher weight.  I lived so many years at 300+lbs.  160/170 or so will be a HUGE change and one that I will be happy with.  I want to remain healthy.  I have seen people that are further along in their journey that do not look healthy.  I don't want to be sick.  That is my fear.

Well as far as good news goes, my friend DeWhitney has joined us on the Losers Bench.  She had her RNY on the 23rd of March 2009, also with Dr Warnock.  She is doing well which makes me SO HAPPY!  I always worry, but that is my nature.  She is sore, but good.  I am so happy that she decided to do this surgery while her son is still young.  He will have a different life.  Again, I do not think that this surgery is for everyone, but for those of us who feel that it is our only hope for a "normal" life, I support you FULLY!  She is going to have a totally different life and she is young enough for it to really make a difference for her (it does at any age actually).

Well all, I just wanted to give a few updates.  My daughter is dealing with some health issues so I am not sure how much I will be on or post.  I hope all is well with everyone.  Please feel free to write, call or hit me up on Myspace.

Hugs to all,
Heather

Well I went to the doctor on base today and talked to her about some things that have been going on.  They think that I may have anemia.  I am not shocked really if it is found that I do.  Right around my monthly cycle, I keep getting dizzy.  I feel not like myself.  I am cold all the time as well.  So they are checking my blood to find out what is going on.  I guess the anemia is worse during periods for women.  I have had a few episodes when I have been overheated as well.  I was talking to a woman I met through here at one of the bariatric meetings (she is going to have surgery soon) and I felt like I was going to pass out.  I didn't say anything to her or her mother but everything went all black and I felt like I was going to pass out.  It was embarrassing to tell you the truth.  It was the first time that had happened in such an extreme way.  Most of the time I am around the house doing this or that and have these moments when I go to stand up and get dizzy or have the near blackout moments.  So I hope to get some answers.  I would rather find out that I have anemia than to go on living like that not knowing what is going on with me.  An answer, even when it is one you don't want, is better than not knowing what is going on with you.  Has anyone else experienced this? 

I went to the dentist today as well.  I love my dentist.  He noticed right away how much weight I lost.  He did not say anything immediately but it was nice that he finally complimented me.  Oh and the visit went well.  No cavities, no issues, I do grind my teeth though.  UGH!

So I turned 34 years old on March the 5th!  My daughter turned 15yrs the same day.  I decided, with much thought and stress, not to attend the yearly dance that Dr Warnock puts on for all of us.  It was a hard decision to make, I feel guilty but my priority is my family.  I know Dr Warnock would understand that family should come first!  Well we took her to a hockey game with 7 friends and my parents.  We had a ton of fun! Actually less now that I have lost 113 lbs!  I am not yet 6 months post op.  I am eating, exercising and enjoying life!  I forgot what that was like...enjoying life.  Things have been a bit rough still for me here and there.  I still experience dumping from time to time.  I know some of it is due to something I do, still feel like some of it is due to something I don't do.  Most of my episodes happen after taking the Iron pill so I think I have to talk to the doc about that.  I take it with food which was suggest to me, but still I get stomach (or should I say Pouch) upset after taking it.  I am getting most of my protein from food and use protein mix less all the time!  I love walking still, started jogging.  I jog during my workout but now I jog in the "hood".  I use to walk and do a workout but now I do a jog.  I am still not able to do jumping jacks.  The jiggle is too much and the boobies don't want to behave at all!  It is too painful.  I think I may have a few issues with hernias or problems with muscles.  When I workout, I feel these pockets that feel like they are fluid filled.  Sometimes on walks I have issues with them also...pain.  I have had a few episodes where around my monthly cycle I get dizzy and can't function for a day or two.  I am having that checked though through blood tests and such.  I hope it is easily fixed.  I get cold ALL THE TIME!!!  That is to be expected right!  I mean all my stored fat is evaporating...lol.  Well not really, I work hard to get it off!  Really, I am doing very well.  I am so happy where I am. I would keep the bad days I have now compared to the good days I had at 336lbs.  NEVER will I be there again.  Oh, yes I did "sneek" some cake for my birthday....and dumped!  That'll teach me right!  LOL!!!  Sorry I have not been on much again.  My daughter has been having some medical issues but I hope they are being resolved.  I hope all is well with everyone!

Okay, silly me I suppose!  I don't feel so silly when I am going through it but when I think about it later, I think "Heather, you are so silly.  What a DRAMA QUEEN!!"  ha ha.  So after 2 weeks, I go back to the doctors office to weigh myself while I pick up my vitamins and protein mixes.  To my surprise I had only lost 3 lbs.  Now I had already lost 100 lbs so why should this 3 lbs be such a big deal.  If you know the answer, please share it with me.  I am just so hard on myself I suppose.  I work out, use weights, walk 3 miles a day and 3 lbs is all I have to show for it.  I guess it is one of the mind games that have started with me.  Disappointed to see such a small loss.  I should look at it as it is a loss and not a gain, right?  But my wacko mind won't do that...lol.  I still don't see myself as "thinner", can't say thin.  I still have a ways to go until I am at goal....or atleast the doctors goal.  I have a great support system in my husband and my daughter.  My parents are supportive but I do feel that my mother is jealous.  She wants to be thinner as well and although she wishes great things for me, she is jealous that I am doing it.  I received my "Century Pin" at Saturday's Bariatrics meeting.  I was so happy to get it.  I almost cried.  I want to say so much to my doctor.  How do you tell someone who gave you life again how much they mean to you?  How do  you tell them that you are able to shave your legs now in one session instead of multiple, and not be out of breath?  How do you tell them that you don't look at food the same way and that it is actually a good thing?  How do you tell them that you can sit in any chair now and not have to worry?  How do you tell them that you can FINALLY cross your legs, put on your shoes, jog, walk, do sit ups, jumping jacks and so on?  When I think of all the things that in only 5 months that Dr Warnock has given to me.....I just want to hug him!  I can't thank him enough.  He is so modest....this man will have a special place in Heaven that is for sure.  I have a love for him.  He gave me life all over again.  How do you thank someone for that.  I suppose the way to show him how much it means to me is to just keep doing what I am doing.  Lose the weight, keep it off and have a happier life that doesn't revolve around food.  I should live life to the fullest.  I truly appreciate Dr Warnock for all he has done for not only me, for my family and my friends.  They now have a new and improved Heather to enjoy.  I hope that anyone having this surgery has a similar experience.  I am truly blessed!!!

So at 4 months and 15 days post op, I am down 100 lbs.  I am so excited.  I have been working really hard, watching what I eat.  I do my exercises several times a week, walk every night and now I have bought ankle and wrist weights.  They are only 2.5 lbs each but that is a total of 5 lbs.  I am trying to get my arms and legs in better shape.  I am working on my stomach muscles as well.  I plan on going to the gym with the hubby to take advantage of the base facilities that are free for me to use.  I am so happy with my progress.  I am not sick at all, don't look or feel sick.  I know everyone tells me how worried they were that I would look ill after surgery.  I look like me, only thinner...ha ha.  This surgery has already changed my life in so many ways.  I am so much happier, and I was a pretty happy person before surgery.  I am so grateful to my surgeon.  I can't say enough about Dr Warnock.  He has given me life again.  I know I have posted that before, but it is truly how I feel.  I am so thankful for him.  I do have one complaint though.  This is about my extended family and many friends though.  I am changing.  Sometimes I don't think that people understand that.  My mother and others especially will ask me about how things are going with WLS and what are the latest results, any dumping and so on.  I tell them and then they say, "you talk about that too much".  I am like ???.  You ask me and then when I talk about it you get upset?!?  What is that about?  So I really feel sometimes that I should stop talking about it all together with them.  Just not share what is going on with me concerning the RNY and issues I am dealing with.  Does anyone else experience this?  I just feel that the only people who "get me" are the people here and at the bariatric meetings.  It is as though I can't share my life with people any more.  And I get this jealousy from many people as well.  I did this for me, not to be in competition with anyone to lose weight.  This is a totally selfish thing, it is all about me!!  I wanted to live a healthy and LONG life.  Does this make sense?  I feel some seperation from people now which is a bit sad.  In the end though, I am learning who my true support people are and who are not.  I know that this surgery has opened up my eyes in that respect as well.  I am sorry that I do not write as often as I would like to.  I am truly busy and don't have as much time to be online.  I wish everyone much success and happiness!  I can't wait for the weekend's bariatric meeting.  I get my "Millennium Pin".  WOO HOO for me!!

Well I went to the doctor today and I am down a total of 90 lbs.  He says that I should be able to get the skin removal in Late Spring.  WOO HOO!  Not that I am looking forward to the pain of it all, and I heard it is painful!!!  I do want to have it done though because I hate looking at how my skin is hanging.  I have no restrictions any longer.  I really am excited.  I am going to go out and buy me a weight set, or at least the ankle/wrist ones so that I can build my muscle and tone.  I hope to not have to think about the legs and arms.  I know the belly will be taken care of, its the other stuff I worry about.  I ate chili today, my favorite food post op!  I am drinking hot tea with splenda.  I am very tired.  I found out today that the insomnia is normal as is the hormone changes that cause me to be a bit crabby from time to time.  Well that is my story and I am sticking to it.  My 14 year old would probably say I am a lot more grumpy than I am, but she is 14 and makes everything more than it really is...drama drama drama.  LOL.  I am having less and less "dumping" episodes than ever and I am even going to venture into eating out one of these days.  If I can't bring it home, I haven't been eating it.  Now I need to go and sit down and enjoy myself.  I wish everyone the best!!!!