Melissa R.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Today is just an ok day.  I have been busy all day and I am glad because if I would have been home I would have felt sorry for myself and laid around doing nothing.  That is probably what i will do the rest of the afternoon though.  I don't know why I have days like this.  I can be fine one day and so depressed the next.  What is up with that?  Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy.  Why else would I go from one extreme to the next.  I am going to meet Marcey at the gym tonight.  I am making myself go.  I don't really want to, I would rather stay here and do nothing.  BUT.....I will go.  Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Day after 20/20/20 class,  all I can really say is ouch!  I feel it everywhere.  I plan on going back, but I am very glad that I did not have to go today.  I would never have made it.  Anyway,  last night I went to Dr. Bour's meeting and then we (UPS) went to Sobroso's.  It was great as usual.  I love that group of people.  I miss them when I don't see them.  We can laugh, cry, yell, laugh, did I say laugh together.  It is awesome.  I feel so close to some of them.  kathy and I are going to host a Memorial Day BBQ.  I am so excited about it.  I am more excited about Mike getting to meet everyone.  I want him to know who I am hanging out with on Mondays and who has become so important to me.  They truly are family to me.  I love them all. 

So, Marcey and I decided to try a workout class to change up our routine.  I am not sure that we have an exercise routine yet as we have only gone about 5 times together.  Anyway.....we decided to try this class.....20/20/20.  OMG!!!!!!!!!   I am dead!!!!!   It was fun and I am glad I did it, but it was torture.  20minutes of kickboxing then 20 minutes of step (which you have to have some level of coordination for) and then 20minutes of weights/bands/ abs/gluts.  WOW is all I can say.  I was very nervous going into it that I would not be able to finish the class.  I am proud to say that I did finish the class.  I did not do it gracefully though, but I finished and actually walked out (on my own 2 feet)!!!!  Yea for me.  I am going to go to a beginners step class to learn the lingo and basic steps.  I am sure that will help some!!  I am determined to start today off right and I feel that I have.  Hoping to keep it on track the rest of the day!!!

Feel the burn, right?!  

I am so in need of a ride on the back of the bike.  Doesn't look like it is going to happen tomorrow. though.  I know we need the rain, but I want to ride, durn it!!!!! (I am stomping my feet right now).  Oh well, grow up Melissa, we don't always get what we want!!!!!

Went to the gym again this morning.  We are supposed to go Mon., WEd., and Fri. but I am going to go shopping in the morning while all my beautiful children are at school.  I have a million errands to run and Mike will be home in the afternoon, so I thought I should get everything done early. 

Mike told me last night he needs to lose some weight.  He talked about joining LA Weight Loss.....been there, done that!  I think I am going to just put him on a diet.  I am going to fix his food for work.  Smaller portions and 2 healthy snacks for in between.  I think if he has the food ready to eat and I tell him what time to eat, then he can do it.  He just needs it to be structured for him.  I totally understand.  I do much better if it is laid out for me and all I have to do is what ever someone else says.  All he really needs to lose is about 20 pounds.  I think...I know he will feel so much better.  

I am kind of anxiuos to weigh on Monday.  I have really been trying to watch what I have been eating and I have kicked up the exercise.  5 1/2 miles on the bike and a titch over a mile on the treadmeal in 30 minutes.  I thought that was a pretty good cardio workout.  Then 30 minutes with resistance training.  One hour total.  I have never worked out for an hour before Marcey joined.  I am so glad that she is there with me in the mornings.  We are offering each other so much support, even if we don't say anything, just being there is enough!!

Oh no, tomorrow is Friday.  Time to dread going to work!!! 

Made it to the gym this morning.  i am so glad that I have a workout partner now.  If it weren't for Marcey being there, I never would have gone today, OR if I did go, I never would have stayed as long as I did.  She kept me there and I "worked it out"!  Of course, I am glad that I stayed.  I just did not have it in me this morning, or so I thought.  

Yesterday, I woke up in a fantastic mood, with tons of energy.  Today, I just wanted to roll over and go back to bed.  I didn't even care if the kids went to school today!!!  I know. BAD BAD MOMMA!!!  I am feeling some better, but still just a blah day!!!!

I talked to my boss yesterday about this new position that I want.  I have no idea when it is going to happen.  It could be months away!!  I am so ready for the change I can hardly stand it.  I have NO Patience what-so-ever!!!!!!!  We will just have to see!

Ok, when to Dr. Bour's office last night.  Stepped on the scale....mind you I was feeling fat most of the day yesterday....and the scale had indeed moved.....just in the wrong direction!!!  I was up a pound!  I was so mad.  I was mad that the scale was up, mad that I had driven all the way from Easley just to see it, mad that I had been making better choices that were not being reflected by the scale, mad that now I did not want to stay for the meeting I had driven a half an hour to attend, and MAD that I was mad!!!!  I knew it was not going to be good because I had felt bloated att day.  I finally start my period yesterday afternoon and felt as though I was going to pop.  I have been thinking for a week that I would start any day and it took a week.  My hormones are still soooo crazy!!!!!!

Anyway, today is another day!  I am not going to the gym today.  I am going to clean my nasty house!!!!!  I am ashamed to say that I still have stuff that I have not unpacked from the move.....6 months ago!!!  My goal today is to make a HUGE dent in it!!!!!  I am going to go to the gym tomorrow.  Marcey and I said 3 times a week!  That is my goal for this week.  My goal for today is to try to eat right and not let yesterdays weigh in sabotage myself!!!  It is only hurting me, right ?

It is Monday and it is a good MOnday.  I met Marcey at the gym this morning for an hour long workout!!!!  I know....someone call Guiness!!!  It was actually great.  I am so excited to have a workout buddy now.  I have also found the best tasting protein shake EVER!!!!  I think I am hooked on them.  It should be ok though.  I think it has 32 grams of protein in it.  I am not sure of the calories or sugars, but it is replacing my breakfast, so it should be ok.  I am going to Dr. Bour's tonight.  I am hoping the scales have moved down.  Last monday it was at 201.  I would love to see 199.9!!!!  I jsut want to get into the 100s.  It has been so long.  I will let you know how it goes!!!

I must say that I was pleasantly surprise last night when the scales had actually moved down!!!  I was getting so depressed about it and that was just making it worse....I make terrible food choices when I am depressed.....can you relate?  The scale has been sitting at 204 for forever now and last week when I saw Michelle the Nut, it was actually at 205!!!  Well, last night it was at 201.  2 more pounds to onderland!!!  I can't even believe that I might make it.  I remember being in high school and telling my best friend, "if I EVER weigh 200 pounds then just shoot me and put me out of my misery!!"  Funny how things change after 14 years of marriage and 3 kids!!!!  I am so excited to be a 200 right now I could kiss a stranger!!!!  I was thinking that my goal is 36 pounds away.  I truly wonder if I will make it.  I hope that I do, I would love to make it bt October 1st.  That is my birthday.  I would love to be at goal for myself.  What a present to give to myself. I am afraid to really say anything about it though, because it seems that everytime I do then the self sabatage sets in and it all goes to pot!  I think I am holding it in the back of my mind.  I don't want to say it out loud, but hopefully that will be my 35th birthday present to myself!!! 

I totally don't get this.  I have never been referred to as "hot".  I don't think that is possible.  I have been married for almost 15 years and I have 3 kids.  Women like that are not "hot".  We are moms!  My husband came in from work last night and told me that I am really looking "hot" lately.    I am not sure how to take that.  I have noticed that men notice me now.  I was always invisible before, but now they actually speak to me.  It is very awkward for me!  I haven't flirted with anyone is 16+ years and to ahve it happen now is weird.  My husband tells me it is ok.  He told me that I am very attractive and it is ok for men to talk to me.  He did remind me that HE was the one who has loved me through thick and thin (haha) and I should always remember that.  My daughter told me the other day that I looked "hip".  I don't know.  I am just having a hard time adjusting to the new me I guess.  I just think of myself as a wife and mom.  Plain Jane...that is me!!!! 

I must say to anyone out there thinking about surgery.  YOU ABSOLUTELY  HAVE TO HAVE SUPPORT!!!!!  I am so thankful for my wonderful friends that I have.  I can't imagine going through this life changing process with out them.  It is so great having other people who know what you are going through.  MY family has been a wonderful source of support for me, but they don't know the feelings that I have.  I feel like I can call on anyone of the UPS gang and know that they are going to understand me.  It is amazing!!!  

On to other news.....I am a biker chic!!!  MY hubby bought a bike and I think I love it more than he does!!!!  We have had so much fun riding it!!!  It is awesome.  I am so glad that I can enjoy this with him.  I know that this time last year, I would have never gotten on the back of a bike!!!!  My life has changed so much from having this surgery.  I can't even start to tell you.  I have the most fantastic husband in the world.  He is everything to me.  I am so thankful for the chance to be a better wife for him.  Our marriage has gotten so much stronger lately.  I am so thankful for that!!  Anyway, back to the bike!!!  We are hoping to ride to the mountains Friday afternoon.  I hope it doesn't rain!!!!  

Next weekend the girls and I will be at the beach!!  I am so excited about going!!!  That is something else I would never have done a year ago.  I didn't have this many friends and I certainly would not have gone to the beach for a girls weekend!!!  Life is GOOD!!!!