July 5, 2004 I have been doing some major thinking today. Couldn't make any calls to the Veterans hospital as they seem to think it's a holiday or something. I'm on a holiday every day, I have my off days and days off. I just find it so frustrating at times. I feel like I am doing everything I can to lose the weight, but for every step forward, I go backwards two steps. Then there are the days when nothing seems to go right. There are times I just want to smash in my careproviders head. He really gets to me and that's not his job pursay. He's against my having the surgery, then he complains that he can't wait until I am no longer in this wheelchair and that I lose weight. Make up my mind, I only have one and it's feeble at that. My Mom called tonight, she thinks I should just get rid of my power chair, and just use a walker. She has been this way since I broke my hip and pelvic. If I could walk with no pain, no swollen feet, and great lungs, I would in a heart beat. But I can barely stand for 2 minutes before I start shaking. I can't even get shoes on, nor would I be able to even tie them if I could wear them. My hip and pelvic are still healing from last September's fall. I have low bone density, and can't take calcium suppliments because I get calcium kidney stones. I feel like a catch 22. Damn if I do, and Damn if I don't. Mom suffers from arthritis and can barely get around, I even gave her one of my walkers, but she refuses to use it. She is 70 years old, over weight, diabetic, strokes, high BP, has sleep apnea but won't wear the mask, and she expects me to just get up and walk. I can barely breath after just 2-3 steps. It's like I ran 100 mile marathon. Why can't people understand that without the surgery, I may not live another year or two at the most. My lungs are shrinking and can't expand because of the weight. The family thinks it's not true, but I've seen the ct scans and mri's regarding my heart and lungs. Obesity affects all our body not just certain areas. I want to live, but I need the family support more then they know. Until the next time. Love Oh and your support. Y'all mean so much to me. Words of encouragement, prayers, help. I only hope I can be just as helpful to you.
July 6, 2004
I was able to contact the Nashville VA Medical Center. When I called the Huntington, WV VA Hosital, all I needed was their fax number. I called Karen back at the Nashville hospital and she was faxing my consult to the WV hospital, and that I need to have the psych eval and surgical appointment on the same day if possible, or within 2 days. Having the psych eval first. Since I just moved down here a year ago, I know the mental health psych, they know me, and I know the guys at the front desk in surgical clinic. Randy is the head guy at the front desk, that will be doing my scheduling. He's a hottie. I called him back to expect the fax coming thru, he knows that I have moved down here and that I need the appointments asap. He is gong to try and get me in with one of the appointments real soon. That's all I know for now. Just have to wait until I get the letter for the appointments. Later good friends.