elonda11

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Friday!  working   Yay, it's Friday! This week has make me so tired!   Work has been busy, and Gwen is sick and I've been researching my butt off, and having conversations with Dr and Brian and my mom. I just want to go to bed....but that will have to wait. Having dinner at my mom's tonight. I went over there last night to talk to her and, was sort of worried what she would say about WLS...but to my surprise, she was completely supportive. i guess I shouldn't be surprised, b-cuz she has always been in my corner, with whatever problems I've had. She's coming with me to the Intro meeting in October @ DHMC Lebanon. I think we'll learn a lot there. Talked with Brian a couple times too, last night and today. He is hesitant, but will support me in what I choose. I knew he would, he's such a sweet and caring person and I know he'll be my biggest supporter (eventually! LOL) One more hour at work, it feels like an eternity.  eternity....eternity.....yeah kinda like that. I can't wait to get home and put on my weekend clothes and stop dressing like a grownup. xoxo

  pleased 
I had a great Dr visit today! She said that I'm an awesome candidate for WLS  I need to lose 15 pounds before surgery...I've already lost 9 of those! I go to an Intro meeting in Lebanon on Oct 6th. I meet with my Dr in another 8 weeks to check my weight and see what I've done with Registering in Lebanon for the Surgery program etc..Oh, and i also checked with my insurance and they cover WLS that is medically necessary. I'm excited. I've reached and gone over two of the hurdles so far.  I know this won't be an easy road, or a pain free road, but as my Dr said today, this time next year, I will look like a different person.  I hope I'm still cute! LOL

  anxious 
This weekend went by far too quickly. Starting to get nervous about my Dr appt this Thursday. What if she is not into the idea of WLS. I guess I should just wait and see before I start worrying, I know. I've started a folder filled with information printed off of the internet from various sources. I hope this will help me when/if I decide to get it done and speak to people about it. I guess I'm also concerned about my insurance covering it. . . .okay back to work for me, although I'd love to just sit here all day and write about nothing and everything.

It's thursday and I have tomorrow off!  Long weekend here I come! I have my Dr consultation re: WLS next Thursday. It seems as though it's taking forever for that appt to get here. I've done soooo much research on the subject, I mean my eyes hurt I've read so much. I've also ordered a couple of books that were recommended as well. I hope they get here soon. I hope that all of this anticipation is going somewhere.....I still have a lot of questions and I'm sure I'll have more. The people I've told have been supportive. Brian hasn't brought the subject up again since I told him I was thinking about it. I'm sure he's just not sure what to think about it. Or maybe it scares him. I can understand that.

I've met so many people from the OH site, and they are all so nice and supportive. Some have gone through WLS, some are waiting and some aren't sure yet, like me. It's good to talk with different people and get different perspectives. Everyone is so great on that website, I plan on staying in touch with them even if nothing comes of this.
They're a great bunch of people.

xo

 

8/29/06- I was bad today and ate a small fry at BK. I also had a tendergrill salad.....but I did refrain from getting a shake. I know I will regret eating those fries, but at least it wasn't a superduper extra gi-normous fry right? right. :) And it doesn't mean that all is lost and I should get a bad dinner. I'm back on course, eating smaller portions and staying away from the junk. I feel like I need this surgery to give me a boost so I am not allowed to eat these things or I will get sick. I don't know how to explain it. Right now, I can rationalize these things - eating a small fry. But if my stomach was smaller (weelittletummy) I would not be able to without getting sick. Okay I am rambling cuz I just pretty much said the same thing twice. I have a headache, I'll use that as my excuse :)
I did go for a walk last night with my daughter, to my mom's house. I just sometimes feel like I want to tell her, but I am afraid of her reaction. My phsycologist said I'd feel better telling her after I met with my Dr. I think she's right.

8/28/06-I had an appt today with my psychologist, and it went very well. We talked a lot about WLS, and how it changes peoples lives and she has seen good results, but also has seen people, after 2 or 3 years or so, go back to the bad habits and start gaining weight back. I don't want that to be me. I'm in the midst of changing my habits now. I've stopped emotional eating. That was a HUGE change for me. On a side note, my house is very clean these days because I clean instead of eating! :) hehe I guess that's a good thing! Well, off to do some work cuz that's what they pay me for....I think.

8/28/06- I see my PCP next Thursday. I am wondering what she will say, or if she will support my interest in WLS. I've met some nice people through this website. Every day, it seems, I log on and check in, see what people are talking about. Sometimes it's scary, the after effects of surgery. I'm worried about having too much skin, I'm worried about complications. I'm also worried about dying young from being obese. My grandfather died in his 40's from a heart attack, shoveling snow. He wasn't even overweight. I feel like I'm tempting fate, being so big. I have high blood pressure, it's being treated. But, what else is down the road, a year, two years down the road, when my body starts getting older, and not able to hold itself up to the weight anymore. I'm just scared of being like this or worse my entire life. My grandmother is very big and she can hardly walk, she is miserable most of the time and just sits in a chair most of the day. I do not want that for myself. I want to be able to run, and jump and play and roll around on the floor with my daughter, and go camping without hurting all over. I want a lot of things don't I. :) I guess it all has to start somewhere, I'm looking forward to my appt. . .

So, I've been seriously thinking about seeing my Dr to see what kind of weight loss surgery would be available to me. If I decide to do this, if my insurance covers it, if my Dr thinks it's a good idea......All these if's......

I'm just so incredibly sick of being the size I am. Nothing I do seems to work. Yeah yeah, I know, poor me. I have a Dr appt on 9/7/06, kind of a consultation for WLS. I've been doing a lot of research. The surgery has come a long way.

Anyway...I'll update my progress as I think of it. So far, I've only told a few people of my thoughts. I'm sort of nervous to get their reactions. I know not all of them will be positive ones. I guess we'll see....

xoxo