elonda11

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Seems like my life is full of Friday's....but it doesn't seem it during the week. I feel like Garfield a lot of the time. I hate Mondays, I live for Fridays, Lasagne rocks! I used to adore him when I was little. He knew what was important in life. Eating, sleeping, and tormenting Odie in his spare time. Every time my daughter watches Garfield these days, I reminisce about how simple life was back then. How complicated my life seems to have become, because of my weight. Nothing is easy, or as easy as it should be. 

Tonight is movie night at my daughter's school. That means the entire school is invited to come into the gym, and buy snacks and watch a movie. Sounds like a blast doesn't it? Yeah, i think so too, but here are the things I also think of: What if my camping chair decides tonight that I'm just too damn heavy to be sitting on it. I'm already exceeding the weight capacity. How devistating would that be to have that happen in front of the entire school....Should I have snacks? I mean even if I eat healthy things, people still have this idea that fat people shouldn't eat ANYTHING. How ridiculous is that? Well, as all these thoughts run through my head, I realize that I don't care what other people think, I'm not going to have my daughter miss out on special things (spending a Friday evening with all her friends) just because I'm a little self conscious. I'm going to suck it up, and put on my outgoing face as usual and have fun with the rest of them. So there. 

My scale said 282 this morning. Still have about 2 pounds to lose for November 6th appt. I've been pretty good. Last night I took my daughter, my nephew and my husband out for pizza. I had 2 1/2 slices. I could have eaten more, but I stopped myself. Then when we came home, my husband (darn him!) baked choc chip cookies. There was a time, when I could have eaten at least 6 of those cookies and if given enough time and inclination, I could finish the entire batch. No, I'm serious. But, I'll have you know I only ate 1. Yes, just 1 cookie. I know I know, i shouldn't have eaten them at ALL! but at least it wasn't what it could have been. I feel pretty good about that. 

I guess I'll go now, so I can finish my work, and start my weekend! Wish me luck at movie night, we're watching Curious George, which, if you haven't seen it, is SUCH a cute movie. And I might even indulge in a snack. 

Have a great Friday night eveyone, and I hope I'll be able to write this weekend some more. 

XOXO

Today my scale couldn't make up it's mind, 284....282....284....well whatever! I admit, i was bad Monday, had a cupcake with frosting, but OMG, did I ever regret it yesterday. I had major gas and I'm not even gonna mention what I spent most of the day doing in the bathroom. Okay well I just did, but I'm not going into detail! Yikes, Turned me off so much, that last night when I was helping a friend decorate a cake i did not so much as lick a finger of frosting. No way man, noooooo way. 

So today I've been good, had a shake for b-fast, with yogurt, and tomato soup and cheese stick for lunch, sf pudding, and some Kashi cereal. I feel like something soothing for dinner, like cream of wheat, I know I'm weird, I actually like the stuff! LOL 

I think my friend is getting a little, I don't know if it's annoyed, or jealous or what, of my eating healthy. She's been my "partner in crime" with eating for the last 18 or so years. I'm ready for a change. I don't think she is. It's gonna be hard, but I hope she starts eating healthier with me. 

Well, almost time to leave work. And to everyone who might be having a bad day today, I send warm hugs and a reminder that today is only one day, You will get through this and start tomorrow off with a smile and maybe a little positive thinking. I should take my own advice sometimes I tell ya! 

xoxo

Okay, I've verified with a co-worker that it is indeed Tuesday. Ever have days like that? me too. I had a pretty good weekend. Got in a lot of walking at our city's annual Pumpkin Festival. I shopped for shoes for my daughter and I. That is always fun. I got rid of all the shoes that don't fit her anymore so my husband didn't flip out about her having almost as many shoes as i do. Yeah, I have problems with shoes...and pocket books....and clothes. :) LOL, but I haven't bought any clothes lately. i don't want to buy anymore because I'll be getting smaller and why waste money?  I have plenty of clothes to get me through. 

So as of Friday I had 2 more pounds to lose, but now that's up to 4 more pounds to lose because I gained 2 pounds in the last 3 days. Grrrr. i know I haven't been eating as well as I have been. I need to refocus. I need to lose this weight by 11/6/06, my PCP appt. Then I'll have to keep it off. 

I CAN DO THIS! 

xo

Had my appt with PCP to go over lab results. She is very happy with all of them. I do not have Diabetes, and everything else is within normal range. She's very excited to get everything done for me to have the surgery. I'm so lucky to have such a great PCP. I have a physical (pap) scheduled for 11/6.  

I feel like I have a little more energy today. I have paperwork for a sleep study that I will finish filling out so i can have that done, just to rule out (or treat) sleep apnea. 

Thank you to Kim for that little reminder : )

My scale said 282 this morning - My Dr scale said 287.50, I hate that LOL. I've got 1.5 pounds left to lose, then I'll be at the 15 pound loss I need. 
back to work for now! 
xoxo

I am so sleepy today! Maybe cuz it's dreary out, or we turned on our heat last night, I dunno, but I just want to crawl into bed and slide into dream land. But since that's not going to happen, I will try to make the best of being at work. 

Scale said 281 today, that made me smile. My PCP appt is tomorrow, we'll see how much I weigh according to their scale- it's always MORE. 

I guess it's time for me to work now, I wish my motivation would come back, I just want to sleep. 
xo

Today was my Lab work day. I get there, and the tech says, well I have good news and I have bad news. First thing I think is, oh no, can they not do all of the tests I need? But the bad news was, he had to take 10 vials of blood from me. Good news was he was very gentle. And true to his word, he was. There is only a little tiny mark where usually there is a big ole bruise. And he used tape instead of the bandaid - those things are brutal and usually leave more bruising than the needle itself! I have an appt on Friday to go over the lab work, and I'll try to schedule some more things while I'm there, and ask her to get my diet history going for me. 
I'm a little tired today. Just took my B-12 so maybe I'll perk up. 
xo

New pics are from our trip to Yankee Candle, it was a lot of fun : )

Weighed myself today (forgot to all weekend!) and scale said 284. 

Talked to my dad last night and he's excited about WLS, I wasn't sure how he'd react, but he is really thinking this is a good thing. I know both of my parents don't like seeing me unhappy and they see the small person inside me crying to get out. I'll get there some day. 

My Lab appt is Wednesday, must remember to fast. Okay back to work! 
xo

I'm so happy it's Friday! Well, my scale is no longer trying to get onto my good side. today it said 284. again. ~sigh~  I didn't get as much water as I usually do in yesterday, so that could be why. I probably shouldn't get on the scale every morning, but I find it helpful, so I can keep tabs on it, that way if it says I gained two pounds, it's much easier than if a week goes by and I gain 6 or 7. I don't want to become obsessed, I just want to be aware of what my body is doing and when.

We are going apple picking tomorrow (if it's nice out) and then going to Yankee Candle. Our annual little family tradition for autumn. Funny, I don't have any pictures of me during these outings...cuz I refuse to surrender my camera and let any get taken! LOL Maybe some day that will change. If I'm brave, I'll let hubby take a pic of my daughter and me so I can post for all to see. MAYBE 

The scale said 282 this morning, I think it's trying to get on my good side. I was in such a hurry this morning that I forgot my water bottles that I usually bring to work with me and fill during the day. I was driving to work and frantically looking through my bag, saying I know I've got to have some water in here, I carry it with me everywhere! But alas, not a drop to be had. At least I keep a tall glass at work. It's funny how dependant you get on having water with you all the time. I wanted to get into that habit before I had surgery because that's so important. I'm also taking my vitamins, and getting more protein in. Every little bit helps. I don't want my life to be all of a sudden instantly changed, so I'm incorporating as much as I can into my life now. 
well, back to work
xo

My next appt is Oct 18th, this is when i get every ounce of extra blood drawn to have numerous tests done. This should be fun, I have to fast. Hopefully I won't pass out - that would be great. Sad thing is I fear for the people who have to pick me up, and not hurting myself on the way down LOL. I don't want to feel that way anymore. 

A very nice woman contacted me today from OH, Stephanie. She had her surgery at the same hospital that I'm having mine. She's 7 months post op. What a wonderful thing for her to do! I know I could use the extra support, and it's so nice of her to offer hers. I've already read her entire profile....she is very detail oriented, just like I am! I hope to keep in touch with her through this entire process. 

Hmmm let's see what else is going on....well, when I got home from my PCP appt on 9/7, I weighed myself and it was 292. Today it was 284. When I went to my PCP appt, she had said I had already lost 9 pounds of the 15 pounds I needed to lose. Dare I hope that I've actually lost 17 pounds? I see her again on 10/20/06 to go over labs and stuff, so I guess we'll find out then. Their scales are always different. But I'm trying every day to make good food choices and drink a seemingly endless supply of water. I swear I pee like 8 times...just while I'm at work!  

Speaking of work, duty calls  ~xo~