Jamie D.

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Ok so now i am now 6 days out from surgery :) I was so scared that i was making the wrong choice when i went in that i considered calling the surgery off! I awoke in the recovery room to a nurse giving me my PCA button and telling me to go back to sleep. that did get rather annoying after a bit. It was hard to sleep with a guy moaning in the next bed. gosh i wished he would shut up...lol..

The first words that i said to my husband when i got up was "oh my god, what did i do?" I have to say the pain under my left rib cage so sooooooo bad. plus to make things even better they did not put a continuios rate on my PCA pump. it was set for on demand. the horrible part of that was any time i fell asleep i was not able to provide pain relief so that when i got up to walk or goto the bathroom it was a 24minute event. I could hit my button every 8 minutes and it took at least 3 hits to get me moble again. 
I was discharged on thursday and came home to my grandma helping out with my toddler. she had cleaned my whole house for me :)  
I am working on the drinking and eating part, it is very hard to drink the 64oz's a day. I have been lucky enough that i have not had the dumping or vomiting athough i have to say it was rather close in the hospital.  I had jumped on the scale last night and have had a 8 pound weight loss. my current weight is now 328

374/328/160

Jamie

Well i had to get another ticker due to me forgettting to e-mail the link to my home PC from my office. I jumped on the scale this mmorning and i am now down to 331.5!  Wow !!!!!!!!!!  I can't believe i lost 42.5 pounds in 9 weeks! thats incredible! I went through my closet yesterday and pulled out all the 30/32 clothings and put them in a pile to go through so that i may give the good pieces to those who need it and get rid of any stained pieces. I have to say i was amazed as i went through my closet. I found so many tops that i loved that i had through now and got caughted under that hanging clothing. I had through it down usually because i was upset that i could no longer wear them anymore. I told my husband last night that it was kinda like christmas all over again.  I need to put a picture of me up as my avator soon.

Oh my gosh! can it really be this close?. i can't believe that i only have three days to go before the surgery! I managed to catch the GI bug on wednesday and my stomach has not been right since.Oh and the funnier thing is Cj my son gave me pick eye the day before..i wonder if fate it telling me something
I am going to get my hair down then actually update my pictures later to show me better! I am down to 334 now! from 374. way to go me!

well the title kinda says it all! I find myself trying to sabatoge myself. This weekend I binged on chips and diet soda, and Mud pie. I don't understand why i do this to myself, but then again i do. 
I eat when i'm scared 
i eat when I am nervous, 
i eat to when i celibibrate.
i eat to mourn
i eat to punish my husband
i eat because i am loney
I eat because it fills me
I plan my vacations around food. I planned my disney vacation around eating around the world at epcot. 

I worry about my family. I don't want my baby to be like me. i don't want him to be fat and ashamed. i don't want him to be picked on because of his mother. I don't want him to eat to cope.

I keep the bariatric motto in my head "eat to live, not live to eat" but that still does not stop me from cheating on my liquid diet. I need to be faithful and consistant when i have my surgery. it is a new beginning and new life. I want to be free and happy. I can not sabatoge myself anymore.  No one can do this for me but me!

my surgery date is now June 26th. My MD will be out on my orinigal date of 7/5/2007! 

Hi everyone! Total weight loss this week is 4lbs. I started the liquid diet on wednesday. It is easy to do when i am in the office. it is almost unbareable when i get home. weekends are the worst. I think about food constantly on the weekends. I find that i can not be near food. the urge to eat it is so strong! I have also been taking multi vitamins everyday. when i do not take them i get cramps in my legs. 

total weight loss this week 4lbs
total weight loss since start: 26.7

374/347/160