cant_weight
A Fresh New Start...Maybe?
Oct 05, 2011
Wow! I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here. Sadly, the rest of my weight loss journey came to a screaching halt and all those lost pounds found their way back to me and they brought friends. It's been almost 3 1/2 years since I hade my surgery and I never did hit my target weight. But, my family and I have moved back to our home town, everyone is settled into school and work. I've gotten started with a new doctor and thought I'd pick up where I left off and get these pounds marching away. Not so. It turns out my band had no fluid in it...NONE!! I knew it may be the case as I can eat anything and everything. My new doc gave me a 2 cc fill and wanted to see me 3 weeks later to see if there was any left. There was none. So, I have a leak somewhere. I go Friday for an upper endoscopy to see if the band is leaking and if I have any erosion. If not, he said the most common place is the port. A miss with a fill and they can puncture the tubing. Either way, I know I'm having surgery. I hope and pray that it's the port...easier surgery, quick recovery. I'm trying to stay optimistic and look at this as a chance to start over fresh and go all the way. I was doing so well. But, I learned I need the support of a support group to help keep the journey in the front of my mind...always conscious. I'll have to update what I learn after Friday....never had an upper endoscopy before and I have to admit I'm a little scared.
Happy 2009! Starting over...
Jan 04, 2009
Well, it's been a lot longer than 3 weeks hasn't it? The sad thing is, those 18's still fit! I've been really struggling the past few months with some personal challenges-weight included. But, here I am; ready to get back on the band wagon. I know this works; I've seen it. I just need to get my head back in the game. You see, the band doesn't know what you put in your mouth. That part is up to you. If you don't make the best choices, you don't lose. And the hard part, those evil carbohydrates go down the easiest. Especially when you don't feel like you can eat. These past few months have taught me that no matter how well I thought I was doing; no matter how much control I thought I was in; it could be undone easily. I am a major stress eater! The damage is done before I even realize what I've done. So, here's my new plan...visit this site daily and post my thoughts (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and food choices. I will apologize a head of time if you visit this profile and it seems too long or annoying, but this is a tool for me and I need to hold myself accountable. So, you may want to skip me for a while, but do come back and check on my progress.
If you are considering the band please understand that it is merely a tool and that you still have to be the pilot. You can't just assume it will do it all for you. Those chips, cookies, ice cream..they still go down so easily and taste just as good. The thing you have to keep ever present at the front of your mind is to decide, "Is it worth it?" It's easy to forget and neglect, but you are in charge of your journey and you have to make those decisions. I've been on automatic pilot for quite a while now. I haven't missed a doctor's appointment, but the weight has been creeping on a pound or two at a time. My addiction to food is stronger than I ever imagined. I really have to stay on top of this to be successful. Now, on the other side, I've only gained 5 lbs. Any other crisis or holiday season, it would have been 10 to 20. For that, I thank my band. But, I have to stop it now! I would make the decision to have the band again in a heart beat. Even when I feel I don't really have much restriction the band is doing it's job. I'm not as hungry; I can go longer between meals; I don't need snacks; I am satisfied with a smaller amount of food. Oh, there's another misconception-the amount of food you can eat. I spent a few years researching the band, and everywhere I read that you'd be satisfied with about 1 to 1 1/2 cups of food. Not really; I can eat quite a bit more, but not nearly as much as before. I have 12.5 ccs in my 14 cc band and I can eat more than a cup of food. Again, I'm in charge and I decide when enough is enough. I control the quantity by eating slowly and keeping the length of time eating to 15-20 min per meal. Even though I may stop before I feel full, in about 5 min. from when I stop I feel full and that feeling lasts anywhere from 4 to 8 hours. In no way do I consider myself a band guru, merely a continuing education student . But I will share what I learn and my own personal experience. If you find it helpful in anyway, that's great. If you think I can answer any questions for you, I'd be happy to try.
Well, this is really long. Catching up can do that I guess. I will be back tomorrow. I have to. Here's to starting over!
I think I can...I think I can!
Jun 30, 2008
The wonderful part of all of this is the clothes. A lot of my older stuff is starting to fit again, and some of it is even too big. I went to WalMart last Friday night because all of my jeans for work are too big. I took an 18W and a 20W into the fitting room. I figured I'd see how tight the 18's were before I bought the 20. I'm glad I tried them on because.....the 18's fit!! YAY!!! I was so happy. I can't wait to wear them. They even make my legs look thinner. That's a great feeling. Now it's time to push on for the next size down.
That's all for now. Will post again in 3 weeks. Keep your fingers crossed
I survived my first fill!
May 27, 2008
Anyway, I now have 4.5 cc's in my 14 cc band. Just sipping on sugar-free Hawaiian punch tonight. Clear liquids until dinner tomorrow and then back to solid food. I hope this puts me back to how I was right after surgery in terms of the food quantity I can eat at one sitting. It wasn't very painful. No more than a vaccination or having blood work drawn. All in all, I thought it was pretty cool. I go back in a month and we'll see how it's gone then.
I'm looking forward to next week's meeting and possibly going to Mudville again for trivia. Barbara is going with me. I'll update again after that. By then, I will have given this fill for a spin to see what it can do. I am so grateful for my band
I Got My Band!!!
May 01, 2008
My best friend has already asked me if I would do it again. And, abslolutely I would. A few days of discomfort is a small price to pay to get my life back.
The struggles I'm having right now are that I want a Diet Coke really, really badly. And, the food commercials on TV are starting to make me hungry. I know I couldn't eat any of it, but it sounds, and looks pretty darn good. I went to our support meeting last night and have lost 2 lbs since Monday. Not bad I guess, but I'd hoped it would be more. I go back Tuesday for my post-op and will be anxious to see what happens by then. I'm doing my best to stay off my scale at home--for now! I don't tend to be someone who ways several times a day, but I do like to weight just about every morning. I know my body is healing right now, and I know that will cause my body to have different levels of fluid and such.
That's all for now...I'll update again when I'm back to chewing my food!
Just 12 Hours to Go!!!
Apr 27, 2008
It's so hard to believe...only 12 hours to go! At 7:30 tomorrow morning I'll be in surgery. I have to be at the hospital by 5:30 a.m. The hospital is an hour away so my husband and I will head out around 4:30. Good thing all I have to do is go back to sleep...LOL.
I will begin the next chapter in my journey to a healthier, happier, thinner me. I can't help but appreciate this wonderful opportunity. I am going to do my best to do all that is required for the best possible results. I'm not really too scared, just anxious and a little nervous about whether what I've done in preparation will be enough for my doctor to be able to perform the surgery with the least amount of risk. I have to be at peace that I have done all I can do and that was the best I could do.
Yesterday, I began my first day of liquids. And, took my son on his safety patrol field trip to Universal Studios. I was wondering how difficult it would be. It turned out just fine. We had a great day and I was not tempted by food at all. I just bought water bottles and brought along the little Crystal Light packets. Today, however, was a little more difficult. I had a few rumbles in my tummy which I met with more water. I had chicken broth and a sugar-free popsicle for dinner and will have a little more water before I have to call it a night. All in all, not horrible, I'm glad I passed the test. I know the liquid days ahead will become increasingly difficult, but at least it's short lived.
To all my fellow bandsters: I can't wait to join you. It's not an easy battle but we can win together. Please make room on the loser's bench for one more!
To my OH friends: Thank you so much for all the inspiration, support, and wealth of information.
The next time I check-in, I'll be on the losing side!
Less than 2 weeks to go!
Apr 16, 2008
I had my daughter take some "before" pictures this weekend. God, did I hate looking at those. No denying I have a problem. The only thing that made it bearable is knowing those will be the last pictures I have taken as the "fat" momma. I look like a balloon that's about to explode. I am so excited and can't wait to earn my life back one pound at a time.
I never really thought much about all the things I'd like to do, but can't because of the weight. I was just going through life like I had no options. Now, I can think of lots of things I want to be able to do. One of the biggest is walking into a room and not feel like everyone is looking and thinking, "Boy, is she big." I didn't realize how down and depressed I really was. I guess I was on automatic pilot.
The Dr made it perfectly clear that this is going to require a lot of hard work. I feel that will only make me appreciate the opportunity more. Everytime I think about giving in to temptation I think about why I'm doing this in the first place...health and happiness for myself and my family.
Thank you to all my friends here on OH. Your posts and advice are wonderful. I appreciate all your support and can't wait to take my place on the loser's bench.
Getting Closer
Apr 10, 2008
Only 18 more days and I'll have my band. I'm getting so excited. I've really been working on the carb addiction and am making some good progress. Now I just need to conquer the water. Next Wednesday is my pre-op. I hope my loss is enough and I can lose maybe another 7 lbs between now and surgery day. I feel so much better already. Not great bursts of energy just a little more comfortable and clothes are fitting a bit better.
I can really see I'll have to tap into some creativity when it comes to food. I think if I keep trying new things I won't get bored and really miss all the things I can't or shouldn't eat. I want to find a really good low carb cookbook. It would be really good for the whole family.
I just wanted to put some thoughts down. I'll update again after my pre-op.
Kim-you got your band today. Congrats! Hope you're doing well.
Thanks to all my OH friends for your continued support and encouragement!
Count Down---One Month To Go!!!
Mar 28, 2008
As of today, I'm down 15 lbs. from my weight at my first consultation. For me, that's something to celebrate. I struggle daily with my addiction to carbs. Now, since I can't have them-they're everywhere and calling to me. LOL I'd like to get another 12 lbs. off before my surgery. That would make 120 lbs. I would need to lose after surgery. I think that's a reasonable amount to split into small goals.
Next week, I'll need to start a "to-do" list. I get nervous about the date creeping up and I'm not prepared. I've been picking up little things when I think of them. I already have my Vita-band vitamins and the calcium supplements. I just need to find a protein drink that I like well enough to replace food during the liquid stage.
My pre-op is scheduled for 4/16 at both Dr. C and the hospital. I've taken the day off so I'll have enough time and not have to rush around. I'll post an update after that.
I sure appreciate the support and advice I get from my OH friends. Whenever I need motivation or to re-focus, I log on here and become all excited all over again. Thank you all!
I've got a date!!!!!
Mar 09, 2008
I'd really like to lose another 8-10 lbs. before surgery. I'm finally getting through my head that it's o.k. to try because in a little more than a month it will be lasting and never come back.
I attended my first support group meeting at my surgeon's office last week. Those ladies and gentleman are a lot of fun. I haven't laughed like that in quite a while. It's wonderful to learn about these ladies. And for some, if they didn't carry before pics with them, you'd swear they were never over weight. They are very inspirational. They only meet once a month and I can't wait for the next meeting.