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I've had a few...

1.  Just the other day, I dropped my ATM card while sitting at a drivethrough atm.   I was able to reach down and pick it up without having to get OUT of the car.   Amazing!

2.  I can fit through my bathroom door without having to go sidewise (I live in a small apartment and my bathroom door is small, for some reason)...although I usually still do out of habit.

3.  I've had to move my seat up in my car several times...not only forward but up from the floor position!  I can also tilt the wheel downward since I have more room -- before it was all the way up.

4.  On Easter, my 4 year old nephew exclaimed with delight, "You have a lap!"  It made me so happy.

5.  I have BONES!  I'm still 400 lbs and I'm just discovering this fact now.  It's terrific.

These are just the ones I remember....there's been so many.  This surgery has been the best thing I've ever done.  Even with the complications I've had, I don't have one ounce of regret (no pun intended) and would do it again in a heartbeat..

Got the news from my doctor today that I can finally stop the tube feeds and just eat normally.  Thank GOD!  I'm so tired of hooking up every night and having to set my alarm for 4 am to stop the thing and then get up, flush the tube, clean the syringe, etc.  Only 6 more days til I see my surgeon to get the tube out - - I cannot wait to have this foreign object out of my body.

I will say - my surgeon has proven herself to be an amazing doctor and a very caring person.  I knew this beforehand but the last few months she's gone above and beyond what I'd expect from a surgeon.  She requested that I email her my food intake daily and in doing so, we've ended up exchanging emails on a regular basis. If I have any questions or anything, she's been totally available...even while on a long vacation!  It's really made the transition between hospital and home a lot smoother.

The grand total was 68 days in the hospital between April 22nd and July 6th.   Most of that time was for medical but I will admit, two of my stays were for psych.  After being discharged post-op, I had a really hard time w/ my depression and keeping up w/ my gtube and my meds.  It got to the point where I was so overwhelmed, my surgeon asked me to go to the ER to have a psych eval.  I'm glad I told her - it was difficult to admit that I was having trouble taking care of myself.  The hospitalization ended up being my longest (17 days) but I've completely changed my med cocktail and I feel a lot better now.  I also made some connections with the psych people at Mass General and they are the #1 hospital in the country for that stuff.  Definately cannot complain there.  They were great.

I haven't been weighed in a couple of weeks so I have no new numbers plus having the gtube, doing feedings + eating probably made me gain.  I had to eat enough to prove to the doc and nutritionist that I would eat if they stopped the feedings.  I honestly don't care if I've gained a couple pounds - - I've lost so much since April (when this all started) that it's not going to hurt anything.

It's been an eventful past couple of months. 

I spent 42 days in Mass General Hospital -- May 2 til June 11.  It's a bit of a long story how I got in there - I was nearly in renal failure from a stay at another hospital (will tell that tale another time).  I hadn't eaten in a week, was malnourished as hell, hadn't had a bowel movement in a week, etc.  It took about 5 weeks for them to pinpoint what was wrong, during which time I wasn't eating because it hurt.  IV nutrition is overrated.

Well..during my stay, it turned out my gallbladder was bad, my bowels had twisted themselves silly, I had esophogitus w/ thrush....when my surgeon opened me up she found my liver had adhesions all over it.    I put on 70...yes freaking 70 lbs of water weight in the hospital which freaked the hell out of me and developed cellulitus in a few different areas.

Basically, it was one thing after another for 6+ weeks. I'm home now with a gtube and pretty deconditioned.  I've lost a ton of muscle mass, stamina and energy.  Being in bed so long killed me.  It's been a huge challenge to keep my chin up during all this.  I feel like I had just gotten to the point where I was starting to feel "normal"....and now I can't even take care of my own basic needs.

I dunno.  I could write a lot about this but I'm tired and need to go lie down.  Most of the water weight is gone at least.

/sigh

I went for my 6 month lab work this morning.  They took 13 (!!!) vials of blood.  The follow-up appointments with all my doctors (med, nut, psych) is in week and a half.  After reading the forums here so much, I thought to ask the lab tech if they check my PTH level because it seems like a lot of docs don't and she said they did indeed!  Sometimes I feel really grateful to have had my surgery at such a terrific hospital.

As of today, I'm down 126 lbs since my RNY.  It's a bit surreal.  I've gone from 9x pants to 4x.  There's still a long way to go but overall, I'm very pleased with the entire process.

One thing I didn't post about was my 3 month appt with my surgeon.  Much to my surprise, she brought up plastic surgery.  It wasn't something I was expecting to come up for 18-24 months!  She wants me to have a panniculectomy   My highest weight was a hair over 600 lbs and a lot of it was in my stomache.  My panni is currently hanging down almost to my knees.  It really affects my day to day movement.  No specifics were discussed but she wants me to meet with a PS and hopes for a time frame of Summer/Fall of this year.

My internet has been out for 11 days now.  I've been dying to update my weight chart on my profile!  :) 

On Feb 26th, I went to the Weight Center for a psych appt.  Things on the mental health front have actually been pretty good lately.  My regular psychiatrist put me on Buspar at the end of January and it's made a huge difference.  Anyhoo - the highlight of the appt was when I weighed myself and found that I'd finally broken the 100 lb lost mark. 

WOW!!

Keeping hydrated and upping my calories really broke a stall I'd been dealing with.  I didn't expect to lose 20 lbs in 22 days!  A week later, I was back at MGH for a Lifestyles group and lost another 9 lbs. 

Wow again.

So...the last 11 days have been boring as hell.  My building is currently being overhauled (roof, siding, replacement windows, etc) and somewhere during the 26th, a wire was clipped or something.  I lost all Comcast services..so no telephone, internet or television.  It took 11 freakin days to get someone out here to replace the wire in the wall.  zzzz  It's fixed now so I have lots of reading to do to catch up! 

I gotta run now.  House is on!  Will write more in a day or two.

My 3 month appointments were today and I've officially lost 79 lbs since my surgery.  It boggles the mind!

I've been very fortunate and there aren't any proteins I can't tolerate.  Eggs, cheese, chicken, ground beef...I can handle it.  This had made eating so much easier than I was expecting!  While it certainly has been an adjustment learning how to cook smaller portions (and getting used to throwing food out), I can pretty much cook the same things I was pre-op.  Making the change to healthier, unprocessed foods pre-op has made things a lot easier.  

I'm not a saint - I've had some chocolate.  ;)  On Christmas, I even had a little brownie!  (my mom made them... full fat, high test!  Had a small 1/2" x 1" piece and didn't dump or anything)  I think that if I didn't allow myself to have the little treat, I'd crave it/think about it more and that would make things tough.

On Dec 18th, I went to the hospital for Psych issues and I was there for 15 days.  It's the first time in 4 years that I've been hospitalized.  This surgery has changed my life.  It's also put a lot of pressure...well - let me rephrase that ... since the surgery, I've put a lot of pressure on myself to make changes that I'd been putting off for a long time.  Between that, the winter blahs, and my already depressed self, things were getting pretty overwhelming.  Things were getting a bit out of time so my therapist and I thought it was time for a little break from life.  I'll see my therapist 2x a week now for a while so I can talk things through.

I'm so looking forward to Spring so I can go outside and walk!  Everything is so much better when it's not snowing out.  My thoughts are more positive and I'm more optimistic about things.  I can't wait!

I ended up in the hospital again with dehydration a week after my last post.  It wasn't fun and I've been struggling mightly trying to get enough water in.

The following day, I saw the psychiatrist at the Weight Center (they make me see her more often than normal due to previous psych issues) and had my labs done.

The results?  All's good except I'm still Vit D deficient and also my Vit K is really low.  That totally explains all the odd bruising I've had over the past few months.  The doc faxed over a script for super doses of Vit D and my multivit has Vit K so I should be good soon.

Had a nutrition group yesterday and the nutritionist had me see my surgeon.  After explaining how I've felt lately, my surgeon called over to the ER and told them to expect me.

I spent 5 hours on a gurney in the hallway with an IV and they finally took me up to a room.  I felt really meh and out of it.  They gave me lots of anti-nausea medicine and a total of 4 liters of fluid.  I spent the majority of the time sleeping.

While I don't feel a hell of a lot better than I did going on, they let me out tonight.  I got home a bit after 6 pm and already had a call from the visiting nurses.  Apparently MGH had called them when I got discharged and told em to come visit.

The first thing I did when I got in was drink 16 oz of beef broth.  Now it's a bit after 8 and I'm ready for bed.  

Today has been a decent one.  I've felt consistently ok for a few days now and that's such a refreshing change. 

I've experienced "stuck" a few times this week.  I think my fear of eating post-op has gone away and I've not been as careful as I should be about chewing/making sure food is moist enough.   There's no one to blame but me there.  Lying down helps the discomfort pass quicker but it's still no fun at all.  Now that I know what "stuck" feels like, I've been better at heading it off//letting it develop fully.   Just need to focus on making the right choices and not forgetting to take baby bites.

One thing I've had problems with that hasn't really gone away is taking my meds.  I'm currently taking Prilosec, Levoxyl, Atenelol and Zoloft.  In the morning, taking all 4 of these (supposed to take 3 100mg Zolofts...have only been taking 2) makes me full - to the point of borderline illness.  Often. I've been skipping the Zoloft all together which I know is gonna come back to bite me in the butt.  Things have been ok emotionally.  I know that its gonna get tougher - especially as winter becomes more full blown.  I tend to always get really down in Jan/Feb and I know that not taking Zoloft consistently is gonna have a bad impact.

Maybe it's time to switch to Prozac just for the liquid.  I don't know.  Zoloft has been the only drug that's worked consistently and I hate to make the switch now.

Meh.  Now I'm just rambling.  I'm gonna go lie down for a while.  My appointment with my PC earlier wiped me out. 

Well - today I went in for my first support group meeting.  Fortunately, there were no power outages and we were able to meet in the Weight Center.

I've dropped 38 pounds in 20 days.

Holy crap!