Four weeks and four days ..

Mar 17, 2012

until I get to see the beautiful man I love.  I only get to see him for two days, and then it will be another FIVE MONTHS before we can see each other again.  What did we get ourselves into?  It's been  almost 6 weeks since he left for basic training.  It's not the first time I have been through this, I was married to a Marine, but I thought that since I am older and a little more grounded now that it wouldn't be such a big deal.. I would just go on with my life for a few weeks knowing that we love each other and that we'd see each other soon.  HA!  I feel like a teenaged girl.  No patience at all.  Every day feels like an eternity.  I miss him so much... it's like the world has lost all color, almost.  I go through the motions of life, but I am unable to get into anything, really.. I am always just..... waiting.  
  In the meantime, I have started going to the gym and the weight seems to be dropping off again.  That should be thrilling, right?  No.  I am trying to gain some weight back.  I am down to the 130s now.  (The high 130s, but still).  I wanted to be like 165 before I saw him again.  I think I look best at that weight.  Well, THAT'S not gonna happen.  
  I have about a million issues, far too many to blog about.  I just need a release of some sort.  Too much stress and not enough ways to deal with it.  Ugh.

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