Nortonvt1

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2 surgeries in 3 days - tubes everywhere and pain like hell - confident it will all be worthwhile in the end

Saying a little prayer that all will go well - I know that my brother, mom and dad are watching over me. Down another pound - even 100 to go after surgery

I feel great that I pretty well have everything up to date at work and will not have to worry about anything until I feel well enough to work from home. I am starting to get antsy to start living my new lifestyle and feel thankful that my surgery wait has ended. I am confident Friday will go smooth as glass.  Lost another 2 lbs - another reason to stay happy!

It is strange how things can change from one day to the next. Today I actually am looking forward to Friday and my surgery. It may be because my friend who I go to Vermont with every year for two weeks sent me an e-mail about how she wants to get  healthier this year, no fattening restaurant meals and less booze and do some hiking and canoeing and kayaking and that was one of my worries - how would my 2 week girls time away be the same - well now I know I am an inspiration and it will be good. Also, a colleague came to see me and she has her surgeon appointment on Monday so will liekly be about a month behind me so I will be able to have someone at work who is going through the same thing as me. Funny how the coincidences make things great again!

Woke up on Saturday morning with a feeling of dread and regret about having the durgery - been in my pjs all weekend sleeping on and off and watching mindless TV - keep thinking of all the things I am giving up. Need a boost to get out of this mood!

This time next week I will be having my surgery - starting to really look forward to it.  It has been extremely busy at work and I have also been doing some at home to get my mind off shakes and teh desire to start smoking again!.  Glad to see the the scale is starting to move downward. Got a call from Dr. Dent at the Civic a couple of days ago, he asked if I would let the surgeon take a little bit of muscle from my stomach for their research while in there. Of course I said yes because they have been so good to me over the years and also because research is so important for all of us who are tackling obesity and those who still or will suffer with it.
Well, looking forward to the weekend.
 

And in the dream I said a okay - maybe that is a sign that my mind is coming to terms with "not to worry". I am now anticipating it rather than fearing it which is a good sign.  Getting a little upset that the pounds are not coming off even though I am sticking to the shakes - when I was on the program back in 2008 - they seemed to melt faster..........maybe it is age. Decided today that I will take all the time I need to adjuist and not rush to work from home.

I have been aoiding the basement where the bike, elipitical and treadmill are but got brace yesterday and did 45 minutes combined on each. Found having a CD from the dollar store playing frigging banjo music helped  me want to exercise more and faster - maybe it was because it was so awful - but whatever works.

Well, time for a shake - yum!

I am starting to lose my apprehension about the surgery and I think looking around this site and using the tools has really helped me. Good day today and think the ketosis has begun from the shakes - yes!

Looks like the shakes are working. I wish it wan't so cold out or I would walk around the block - instead I will go up and down my basement stairs (10) a dozen times.