Another quickie

Feb 25, 2009

I am now 143-144 lbs. The goal they set for me was 140... don't know if I will get down to there or not, and to be honest? Don't care. I feel I am at goal. I definitely have loose skin on my belly, hips, and upper thighs which, if removed, would probably be at least another 10 lbs lost. So I think I'm at goal.
I haven't exercised much at all, either. Bad, I know. I am at the 17 month mark and not really "dieting."
I do eat things I shouldn't but I try to keep in mind total calories for the day.
I do try to stick to the 3 meals and one snack per day rule. I stick to the no drinking with meals rule and no carbonated drinks rule.
Carbonated drinks give me a belly ache... I'm sure trapped gas.. and I can see how that might stretch things out.
I can also see how grazing all day long can help creep weight back on.
I am not a size 10... totally unbelievable to me.
My boobs............oh woe is me. They are in sad shape. I don;'t know if I will go for the tummy tuck but I am seriously contemplating breast augmentation. I am a small c now.. and they are like dead weights. like socks with rocks in them when i bend over. YUCK.
I do think I am more insecure naked now than  I was before surgery.
 And dating is strange. I am not an overweight person anymore, but I feel like.... I am hiding under my clothes. I feel like I look GREAT all dressed up, but once you unwrap the package...............OH LORD!
But hopefully at the point the guy is going to undress me, he will be taken with my wit, intelligence and charm (wink wink) so my "looks like i had 12 kids" body won't bother him!
Now I pray on an almost daily basis..... "please Lord... don't let me gain any weight back!"
its amazing and frightening all at the same time!

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