MoDogg
In my mind, I have thought of myself as fat since I was about 8 years old. I was always taller and thicker than the other kids my age and knew that I was different somehow. Looking back, I don't know if I was technically fat by medical standards, but I do remember being compared to my smaller older sister and wondered why we were completely different. My youngest brother took every opportunity to make fun of my weight and my parents did nothing to stop him. They actually participated in making me feel inadequate and fat and ugly. Sigh.
The years went on and I continued to gain more weight. I don't have a record of what I weighed at each age, but I can guarantee that I was technically fat by the time I reached college. My freshman year I packed on way more than the "Freshman 15" and also partied alot. After graduation I had to move back home to save money and that's when my relationship with my parents became strained and we argued alot. My mom thought it was time for counseling which actually was a good idea. The irony was that my counselor was obese like me! My mom hated that! She only went once and I ended up seeing the counselor by myself for about a year. My weight didn't go down, but I learned about my relationship with food and how I felt about my family and myself.
Fast forward 10+ years and I have reached a point where it's time to take care of myself. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (big surprise there) and have neuropathy issues that are really scareing me. Other health issues which I'm sure many of you understand and experience have lead me to make this life changing decision. I may come across as depressed and angry, but I have actually come a long way emotionally over the years and am doing OK. I am fairly happy and I know with this surgery I can continue to improve my outlook on life. I have a lot of dreams that I want to experience. I want to get off the sidelines and get into the game!!
