mjhbear7

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I thought it was time for an update.  My friend Vanessa had her surgery yesterday and  I was there for her most of the day and went back at night once she was in her room.  She is doing good but in alot of pain. I don't remember being in that much pain and I feel so bad that she is hurting so much because I told her that it really was not that bad.  The next month will be the hardest for her but she is stong and will get through it.  I know this! 

I have been feeling really discouraged with my weighloss.  I can't help but to compair to everyone and my loss is much slower than everyone else.  I am a little over 9 weeks and down 35 pounds but according to the dr. yesterday with jeans and stuff on I was only down 29 which really had me bummed.  We talked about it and he was very happy with the rate I am losing and said if anything it is too fast.  He stressed to me that it is not good to loose really fast and to just keep doing what I am doing so that did make me feel a little better.  I know that light weights loose a little slower but I have yet to read about anyone this slow.  Makes me feel like I am doing something wrong.  The other this is the friggin scale that I need to go chuck in the back yard.  2 days ago I was 219 today 221.5 WTF? is that all about. It drives me insane.  I do read about others that bounce up and down and stay the same for weeks at a time so I guess I am normal but its hard to see that number go up at all.  Especially when you feel like you are eating like a hampster.  Some other things I have noticed.... some days I can hardly eat anything at all and other days I feel like I can eat tons.

Today is Christmas Eve and I am feeling good.  We went to the Kovach's for breakfast this morning and a small gift exchange.  It's a tradition that we all look forward to. I have to say this is the first year I did not stuff myself to complete misery with strata, potatoes, ham, toast and cookies. I felt good and I was satisfied with what I had.  a small bite of strata a few bites of potatoes and a little bite of ham. Its amazing that what I ate made me feel satisified. Awesome just awesome.  People are starting to notice my weightloss and that makes me feel good. I feel it but I think the next 20 will be really exciting.  I am at the 30 pound make and I know once I hit 50 I will really be feeling it.  I am wearing a size 18 jeans and they are getting a little loose on me.  I put on my 16's but they give me a bad muffin top so I will wait a few more weeks.  I feel good other than being tired alot and my hair is falling out pretty bad which makes me sick. I seem to toloerate all foods but I am starting to question if I have become lactose intorerant. The last 2 times I drank milk my stomach had terrible pains in it and now I am scared to try it again.  I can have small amounts of sugar and have not pushed that too much but I did eat one chococolate chip cookie that pushed to limit a bit. I never got sick but just felt yucky for awhile.  Well... tonight we are off to my grandmothers for dinner and that should be a good time.  It's fun losing weight during the holidays and not something I am used to at all.  Merry Christmas everyone! 

11/1/06  254 size 20-22
12/8/06  229.5 ( -24.5)
12/10/06 227.5  (-26.5)
12/22/06 224 ( -30) 7wks 2 days.size 18 jeans are loose
12/30/06 222 (-32) 8 wks 
1/4/07 221.5 (-32.5) wearing a 16 jeans
1/6/07 220 (-34)
1/8/07  219 (-35) and so excited to be under 220  
1/11/07 218 (-36)
1/13/07 217 (-37)
2/13/07 212.5 (-41.5)fit into a 14 woooo hooo!!!
2/16/07 210 (-44)
3/09/07 207 (-47)
04/03/07 199 (-55) in wonderland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hello, 

Time for an  update.  Today the scale read 229.5 which gives me 24.5 pounds lost since surgery.  woooh hooo!  I am starting to feel it just a little bit.... and yesterday I noticed my wedding rings were not so tight. My pants are getting loose and I do feel better overall.  I have started walking on the tredmill almost everyday but it is hard to motivate me some days.  I seem to have a problem with comparing myself to everyone else on here and I know I am not supposed to do that but I do.  I look for people with the same starting weight as me and then look to see what they lost in the 1st 5 weeks.  I have found that everyone so far has lost more then me and it gets me really bummed out so... I am done with it ...no more!  In one more week I can swallow actual pills and I think I am more excited about that than eating.  The worst part of my day is taking my meds in my Yogart... I hate it.  lets see what else... I dont really care about eating all that much and most of the time have to remind myself to eat.  I am bad with getting all my water in but good with the protein.  I need to really work on the water.  Also, I have gotten sick a few times and I think it is because I forget and eat too fast or I dont chew that good.  I have been working on it though.  The times I have gotten sick I am fine right after I throw up so that is why I think I didnt chew well enough.    I do get hungry but its a different hungry... and I think when I let myself get to that point that is usually when I eat too fast and get sick so I do much better snacking all day then waiting for 3 full meals.  Although, the Dr. wants me to sit  and eat 3 full meals its just too hard... there is noway I can get 1000 - 1200 calories in 3 meals I need to work on that all day long.  Until next time... Lova ya!  P.S. its a winter wonderland here today.  I love the snow!

John and I just got back from a one hour walk with the dogs and I did great!  I never used to be able to do that which makes it feel so good. I feel like I accomplished something!!!  I love walking with them.  We walked up to the High School football field and let the dogs run it was grea to see them run and chase each other... the look so happy.  John is going to the Browns game today with the guys and I will be hanging with the wives at Beths.  The scale has been stuck at 235 for 3 days but I know it will drop agian soon. Thanksgiving was preety easy for me. Oh course I wanted everything but as soon as I got my pouch full I did not care much at all.  Its very strange I notice how much people eat now and think how in the world can they eat all that like my brain is rewired. Plus what blows my mind even more is that I used to eat more than all of them.  I am sucking down a protein shake right now and need to really work today to get all the protein and water in.  I have slacked off the last week with writting my foods down and must get back with it.  John told me this morning he can see the weightloss in my hips and that felt so good to hear.  Have a great day!!!

Today I had my 3 week post opt appointment.  everything went well I have lost 13% of my total exess body weight which was 16 pounds according to their scale and 16.5 according to mine.  Atleast I know my scale is close and I like what mine says better.  She said normal is anywhere from 8-11% so I am very happy.  I got my Doctors goal weight for me of 140pds I am 5'3".  I think that sounds fair.  Its hard to imagine me at that weight but it is very exciting that I am now less than 100 pounds overweight. Crazy but it does make me feel better.  I  am still on pureed foods and need to be for the full 18 days ugh! I think this really has to be the worst part.  I just really hate pureed foods and I am getting so sick of everything.  Here is what I do like: fat free refried beans with a little cheese and lowfat sour cream, ricotta cheese with some low sugar marinara sauce, minestroni soup broth, cottage cheese, yogart low carb, and well that is about it.  I talked with the NUT yesterday and he was stressing getting more variety and eating out of each food group at each meal.  He did not like that I have been eating 4-6 small meals and wants to see me eat 3 full meals consisting of each food group and 400 calories.  Ill give it a try but that sounds like alot for one meal.  He also stressed the drinking after meals and I know I have to work on that.  I think that is for sure the hardest thing for me.  So, after the NUT I got to see the doctor and he said my wounds look good and normal and to get some coco butter to massage then as I told him I hate how hard they feel.  He told me you have 4 things to follow for the rest of your life to make this a sucess.  1. no drinking for 60 minutes after meals. 2. Finish all meals is 30 minutes as you can eat more if you eat for longer. 3. No high calorie drinks 4. No grazing.  He said if you follow those things you "will" be sucessful long term.   I think he mentioned high protein as well but if not I know the NUT did about 100 times.  So we talked for awhile and he was so nice and did not rush me at all.  At the end of our visit he asked me if there was antything else and held out his hand and I asked him for a hug he smiled and huged me back.  I told him thank you and told him that he was going to change  my life and got very emotional.  Not too sure where it all came from but I cried the entire way home.  I balled actually like a baby.   I think that my Dr. is amazing and when I think of him I tear up.  He changes so many peoples lives its just so beautiful to me.  I feel so excited that this is actually working and I now have a chance to be the skinny person I feel like on the inside.  Here we go again I am getting emotional.  What a blessing! I feel so lucky to be given this chance. And as Dr. Ben Meir said " I just built you a tool its up to you to make it work" 

Things are getting a little easier for me.  I don't seem to be as hungry  and the head hunger is much better.  I think I am reading my bodies signs a little bit better.  Everyday, I really have to think and plan to get all the protein and water in before the day slips away from me.  John brought home a tredmill yesterday.  Wooo hooo! I am going to jump on that thing in  a few minutes and I know that will speed up the weightloss. Tomorrow is my 3 week apt with the surg. When I got on the scale this moring I am down 16.5 pounds awesome!!!

Today was a strange day.  It is hard to be out and about and remember to eat and when you do remember the odds of finding something pureed are slim so it is hard to be out for long periods of time with out packing a bunch of protein drinks for the road. I will remember that for next time.  By the time I got home I was really hungry and wanted to chow down.  I slowed way down in fear of what happened to me yesterday and of course filled up pretty fast.  Its a different type of full   So... of course I got on the scale again today and I am down to 239 from 252.5 so that is 13.5 pounds.  Strange how the weight is coming off Ill drop a pound or 2 then gain one then drop 4 very strange but however it wants to come off is fine with me as long as it keeps dropping off. 

Still holding at 11 pounds  down.  Yesterday it was 12 and now today back up a pound. wtf? I dont know what the deal is but i need to get rid of the damn scale. I find myself looking at others pages to see what they lost in 2 week time and it is very discouraging. Most people are down much more than me.  I know I am not suppposed to be comparing notes but it is so hard. I cant figure out if I am doing something wrong or what.  Am I just out of my mind? I have never lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks I should be jumping for joy.  I just want everything right now. I hate purreed food... nothing goes down well and the consistance is friggin sick I can not wait to move on to stage 3, soft foods.  Today I had my first semi dumping.... I think I ate too fast and I was burping and so sick feeling for like 45 minutes i ran t o the toilet and dry heaved but nothing came up then i laid down and it did pass but ugh... i will be slowing way down from now on.

Today marks day 11 and I still feeling great.  Seems that each day gets a little bit better.  I weighed myself and I have lost 11 pounds wooooo hoooo!!! 11 pounds in 11 days! I am so excited.  Today I moved to pureed foods and had some mashed potatoes with gravy... that tasted great.  Just a few bites and I was really full.  Its a different kind of full very hard to explain like a heavy feeling in my chest.  I can feel everything go down into my pouch and it gurgles and makes crazy noises.  I had a terrible head ache this morning and my hubby went out to get me some liquid tylenol now its gone.  I am planning to kick up my exercise this week.  I need to get moving a bit more. until then...