Ate my first meal

May 18, 2010

 A month and a week out i finally had the courage to eat a proper meal.  From one of my friends on OH,  I tried a swordfish recipe that came out perfect, plus a small salad.  Like everyone on here said, I ate very little.  I took all the suggestions and ate small bites, chewed, chewed, chewed, then waited.  I was almost full after just a few bites.  I couldn't believe what everyone said was true.  That is I ate slowly, I'd be full after a very small amount.  But, that was definitely the case.

When I read a woman couldn't eat a whole chicken leg, I was in disbelief.  But now I understand it.  But now that I've had some food, I'm still afraid of making the wrong choices and overeating.  I feel it would be better to stick to 2-3 protein drinks/shales a day and not worry about real food.  But I know that won't sustain me.  So, I'm back to being very, perhaps overly, cautious about eating.  I'm still worrying I will be able to binge eat as I have in the path that leads down a road to destruction.  I know it's in my head right now.  But, after so many years of fighting food, it's difficult to take a different approach.

So, that was my experience thus far.  I'll keep you posted.

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