felicia
Hi, I am an African American, 31 year old female and have been overweight most of my life. I am amazed at the thought and behavior patterns that most of us who are obese share in common and yet we feel so alone. I have come to a point in my life where I am making changes to the inside and am desperate to have the outside match this profile. I realize that being overweight, for me... has been a symptom of other underlying issues but I also realize that in order to get to those issues I have to peel off the outer layers. That is what I am prepared to do by having this surgery. I have a date! Oct. 14th and I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I have a great support system and am blessed to have the time to devote to this, as it is a long process to recovery. I wish you all out there great success and the ability to make this long term. I don't have an O.H. (obesity help) angel, but my grandmother passed recently and I know she will be watching over me and keeping me safe and guiding the Dr's hands. I would love to have an Ohio angel if anyone is available. Thanks, I will try to update soon!
10-12-14
Well tonight is the night before I start the changes I need before having this surgery. I have done all the prep work and am very excited about the next two days. This website is a total God-send, it really is. I don't know if I would have been able to get through all of this without knowing all of your stories, trials and tribulations and I feel as if I am well prepared to go into this lifestyle change with my best foot forward. I know that it isn't going easy and with that regard I am nervous, but I also know that my reaction is normal. Can I take a minute to shout here!! Yawwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!Yawwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! ok that was some kind of tarzan thing i had going on for a moment. You guys, my insides are all twisted up with pure'dee JOY! I am going to have my life back. Today I went and had my hair braided so that I won't be looking all jacked up after surgery. I think it will prove to have been a wise decision, later on down the line. I have purchased what I need for the hospital, and all my post op diet foods. I am really making myself go into this with a positive attitude. I will be on a full liquid diet for 10 days after surgery, and then for 18 days I will be on a blended diet. I bought slim fast the low carb kind just to start with because I felt I may not be up to standing over a blender trying to mix a shake up. I will get the powder later, with whey and protein isolate. I bought childrens chewable complete multi vitamins, because my doctors staff suggested that they are exactly the same as the adult kind. I got some pepcid AC because per my follow up care, I will need to take two a day for the first 6 weeks and then 1 a day for the last 6 weeks. Can you say EXPENSIVE?? That cost me $40 but I went ahead and bought them all up front, because cash will be tight in the months ahead. For those of you who want to know why my doc. recommends these, it is to prevent ulcers. Speaking of ulcers, per my doctors office, did you guys know that after surgery, if you are even near second hand smoke, or smoke even one cigarette you are way more apt to get an ulcer? Just a little food for thought. I have cleaned my entire house from top to bottom... well with the help of my 11 year old son Isaiah. He is my little blessing. He is an honor student, and really couldn't ask for a better child. Like so many of you, I want to be able to do so many things with him down the line, and I can't wait. My mom is coming tomorrow, I LOVE YOU MOMMY... I am still a big and I do mean Big baby when it comes to my mommy. I would sit in her lap if I could! I love her so much. She is soooooooo supportive, and is taking as much time out of her busy schedule to come and help me. Allison, I love you too!! You are my rock! Ok, now I feel like I just won and Academy award. I am starting to babble. I will write more later, like when I get home. I know I won't be the type to update every week, but every month may be doable for me. Tomorrow I will have to start my bowel prep. Clear liquids all day, and milk of magnesia between 2 and 4 pm. Thursday is the day. Hey guys, I need a last minute angel. Anyone want to volunteer???? PLEESE. Ok, talk to you guys on the losing side. Thanks soooooo much for all the wonderful emails I have received.
good luck to all of you out there about to have your surgeries, or those simply trying to find your answer. I am sure you will be able to make the best decision for yourself.
See you next time...
Felicia.
10-13-04
Well everyone, tomorrow is the big day. I can hardly believe its here already. The thing I find it most difficult to think about as far as the future is concerned is my relationship with food and how it will change drastically. I miss food already. I am praying to lose my appetite for at least a few weeks to give me a chance to withdraw from old habits and start new ones. Wish me luck. I will definitely let you guys know how it turns out. God bless.. Although I did not get an Obesity Help.com angel my grandma Mozella, I know she is my angel and will protect me and guide my surgeons hands.
Goodnight to all.. Good luck..
Felicia
10-20-04
Hi everybody, I am home!!! The surgery went well and without any complications. I left the hospital on the fifth day, I stayed an extra day due to a fever and the doctors precaution. The hospital stay was great! The nurses were great! The doctors and staff were all great!! And most sincerely, the other patients I can now call friends were all absolutely GREAT! Hi Mark,Darlene,LaKeisha,and Mark's mom. I miss yall already. My experience with the surgery itself was much like the others I have read on this site. Obviously there was some pain, I liken it to having two c-sections at once after the first day. At my incision there was a soreness, a heaviness that I just didn't want to challenge on that first day. But I knew that I had to get up and walk on that first day in order to lessen the chances of any future blood clots. I learned that through all of the stories I read here on the website. So I walked the first night, after having had slept all day due to the infamous morphene pump and made it through that hump. I can say that it was easier every time thereafter, not EASY, easier. The other patients were a great source of support for me and we encouraged eachother to walk and do the right things. I believe we will all be good friends for a long time. When I arrived home, walking up my stairs was my greatest challenge. I felt winded, and I felt as if I could not breathe. I found out from another successful weight loss patient that this is normal. I have been able to get one and a half shakes in daily along with soup broth that I blended in a blender. It ain't always the tastiest stuff, but I am motivated to change, and to follow this plan to the letter. On this 6th day from surgery I am much better than I was. I need to take a nap daily but I don't feel any less energy than before I had the surgery. I have a great support system, and I am thankful of that. I am looking forward to my future more than I ever have. I have promised myself not to rush this process, but to enjoy it. I haven't weighed myself and don't plan to do so until my next appt. on Nov. 2. Well, thats all for now.. I will update more after my next appt. Good luck to all of you out there, and thank you for your kind words of encouragement and support of me. Thank you MOMMY, I love you soooooooo much, you took great care of me and my son. Mwah!!!!
See you all soon!!
Felicia
11-10-04
I don't usually know how to start my entry. It seems I have thought of all I would like to say to you guys for so long that its hard to get it out of my head. I will tell you all that right now I am feeling like the surgery did not work for me. I knew to expect this feeling because of all the journal entries I have read thus far, but I thought I would be able to stop my negative thoughts in their tracks. Although I have lost over 20 pounds, it seems the scale hasn't moved since I had my last appt. which was last tuesday. It's either up, or right where I left it. More importantly than my lack of weightloss, if there is anything more important than that, is the fact that I can eat so much more than I had hoped I could. I was supposed to be on pureed diet until tomorrow but unfortuneately I have been incorporating bits of real food here and there. Today I had full meals, and was able to tolerate everything. For breakfast I had a cup of oatmeal (not bad), for lunch I had pan fried noodles with chicken and vegetables. (half of a lunch portion) and for dinner I had a cup and a half of home made chili/ with a piece of corn bread. I am not happy about this. My problem was control before the surgery and it is control after surgery. The only good thing is that I don't feel hunger so far, but because I know I am supposed to eat, I make it a point to do so. I also have not felt fullness yet. I often hear post ops say that during this stage they would feel full after only a few bites, but not me. I can eat soooo much, AND the scale is not moving. I talked to a couple of angels today who suggested I request a consultation with my surgeon. I think I will do just that as of tomorrow. If anyone has other advice.. feel free to email me. Wish me luck...
And good luck to all of you!
Felicia
3-22-05
Shame on me, where have I been? And, WHAT was I thinking? I am sorry to have left anyone reading or following my profile, in the mist. So many times in the last months have I dropped by the site to find a story I could relate to, a story to perhaps get me through to the next phase and yet I was too lazy or selfish to update my own profile. I apologize... please forgive moi... Lets get down to business shall we? So far I have lost around 95 pounds, since Oct. 14th. Like so many of you, I have set my goal at 100 pounds by my six month mark. My last entry indicated that I felt as if the surgery was not working for me, but I would be hard pressed to say that out loud these days because I am over half way through the journey. I must admit that I do tend to compare myself to those successful post ops who started out the same weight as me or close, and who have lost 30 percent more weight than I have at a faster rate. But I don't beat myself up about it, I have a thought and then move on. What have I been eating you ask? I have been eating EVERYTHING with the exception of sugar ladden products. I stick to sugar free everything, and no pop... not even diet. It gives me the burps.. I don't prefer to drink my calories so I drink a lot of arizona iced tea, of the diet variety... and snapple- diet of course. I eat out a lot, but I can never seem to eat even half of whats on my plate. I justify that its ok to eat out because I am always conscious of my calorie intake. If I know I am going out for dinner or breakfast, I try to keep the calories low all around that meal. I don't over do it, though it seems like I do..for instance I might eat a bag of kettle pop corn.. Healthy Pop.. for around 250 calories.. but I feel like a pig because I ate the whole bag. Thats just my mind trying to defeat my efforts. I have been sick only a few times and usually it lasts for only 30 to 45 minutes. I ate some italian ice cream because the attendant told me it has less sugar, and believe me I only ate a few teaspoons and ended up feeling nausious and like I could not breathe. Never again I say... I threw up because I ate a muffin directly after having lunch... too much at once, and this is typically the only type instance in which I get sick. I shop allllll the time now. I have gone from a 26/28 to a 18 and I feel great. I am visiting my mom this weekend and she hasn't seen me in a while. I am hoping to surprise the rest of the family. My only major problem is that I have developed a tingling or numbness in my left outer thigh. They say its normal because of the anesthesa (sp) and should go away after 6 months, but I am going to get a second opinion. If any of you have experienced this... let me know ok. Well, I shall conclude this update for now.. I hope to have pictures posted soon, I was afraid to put anything up before I actually lost weight but now I am feeling more confident... lets see what happens. Good luck to you all... OH and yes I still take daily multi vitamins, b-12, calcium etc.. I am however looking for a better calcium, perhaps powder if such a thing exists.
Felicia
4-27-05
Hi all, quick update... I have my six month follow up visit with my bariatric surgeon tomorrow and then I will know my exact weight loss but of course I have been weighing in at home. I think I have lost 105 pounds as of yet, and the last time I posted I was at 95. Thats 10 more pounds in about a month. It seems that the loss is slowing down but the inches are still coming off. I can fit in some 16 jeans now and don't think I am not enthused, I AM. I look great, and most importantly I feel great. I have still been eating between 1200 and 1500 calories a day and I work out sporadically but hey.. I work out! Well I will update later on, good luck on your ind. journeys.
Tootles..
Felicia
5-31-05
Hi bariatric world, just a quick update on my progress. I have lost about 115 pounds so far. I am down from a size 26-28 to a size 16, and to be honest I bought a size 14 skirt from dots the other day. I refuse to believe I am a 14 yet, but the skirt was stretch soooo thats most likely why I fit it. I love life, and shopping, or is shopping life??? ha ha... Ok, I haven't been properly taking my vitamins and let me tell you who are considering this surgery how impt. it is that you do. I have muscle spasms and like charly horses in my feet. I think it is the lack of calcium. I am making a concentrated effort to do better. Other than that I am doing great. I try to maintain 1500 calories a day and I exercise often. If I didn't exercise I dont believe I would still be losing weight and inches. Everyone says I look like a different person. I am exstatic!
I am going to try to post a picture. Look for it soon!
Felicia
8-4-05
Hi guys and gals, guess what? I am in love again!! With who you would like to know? Avec moi, I am in love with me. Not in a vain or conceited kind of way but in a way that says I am confident and I can conquer the world if I wanted to. I have lost almost 140 pounds to date and it has not been without trial, error, heartache, sweat, blood and tears. Guys, you have to work it at some point just as you would had you not had this surgery! I knew if I could just see myself thin, I could do this thing on my own and I promise you that this surgery was just the boost that I needed. Once someone gives you a leg up, you can't look behind you and ask them to push you the entire way... you have to be motivated by something, and that something has to be from within. I promise you that if you have not had this surgery already, it is not the magic potion you are hoping for. The tool itself is going to slow down or halt completely and that is when your own will is going to have to kick in. By the time the tool wears down, you should have learned enough to kick it back in high gear. Exercise 4 to 5 times a week, at least 30 minutes.. though I never go for less than an hour... its a waste of my time to get dressed, drive to the gym, for only half an hour... I deserve more than that. If you are going to eat something that you should probably not eat... which I do from time to time... at least you will have earned it. I know I am not going to gain weight from eating a bag of chips (small) if I have exercised 4 times in the week an hour each time... and believe me I do not feel guilty about eating those chips. I earned them. It's about changing your attitude. You can have it all, but you have to be willing to give something to get something else. I will say this: I feel like I was given a gift and since I accepted the gift it's my responsibility to take care of it. Thats exactly what I am doing. I was given life again. I care about that. I want to continue to live, because it feels so damn good. Did I mention that I moved to Las Vegas. Hot damn... I feel like I am right at home! YOU CAN LIVE YOUR DREAMS! YOU CAN LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!!
Felicia...
9-29-05
Hi all, just a quick update to let you know that I have settled into Vegas quite comfortably. I love my new home and my new life. I feel free. Who knew that my weight was keeping me from so much living. I knew it!! I knew it all along, and that is why I knew that surgery was right for me. I felt trapped in someone else's body and somebody else's life. I now feel I am where I am supposed to be. Since I moved to Vegas I have been busy getting the house together. My partner and I sold everything we could not fit in our car and decided it would be cheaper, and more fun to simply start over... together. Thats what we have done, I have been busy decorating and furnishing a lovely 3 bdrm/ 3 bath home in the beautiful mountains of NV, and I do mean beautiful. Since I had been so busy I had not had much time for exercising, shall I be honest and say I had NO time for exercising and MUCH time for sampling allllll the fabulous buffets in Las Vegas!!! Yes I have been a bad girl but believe me it has been soooo much fun! I lost about 7 pounds after moving here, but had been at a standstill thereafter. So, I knew it was time to hit the gym and pick up where I left off. Unfortuneately I could not use my Bally's membership here, because there aren't any facilities here in Vegas, causing me to have to pay for a new membership all over again! That sucks, but I know that it will be well worth it when I shed these last 50 pounds. Yes I said WHEN, not IF, because I know I can and WiLL do this and all within the next 6 months because I am ready to start researching plastic surgery to remove the extra skin I have. Any hooo, I know I am babbling now, so I am going to get ready to sign off. I should let you know that I have lost around 150 pounds to date and am currently a size 14/ some stretch 12's fit nicely. I am thrilled with my results so far, and can really see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am going to try to upload a new picture, I hope I don't lose the ones I already have posted. I hate the new format of the website, but will cont. to post as often as I can. Good luck to you all out there and may you keep your faith that weight loss will be your success if you want it and believe you deserve it. Until next time.....
Felicia
2-6-06
Happy New Year to all of you and my wishes are that you are all bright with good energy and positive spirits! I haven't written in a while though I am online everyday, because I struggle with the truth of what is happening in my life. I found that I had had so many wonderful experiences up until now that I didn't want to "taint" my profile with what I felt was negative energy. I am willing now to come face to face with what is my truth and share with you my own personal human struggles. It seems so simple to say that I am back to suffering from head hunger and that I have picked back up where I left off binge eating again. While it is true that I feel blessed to be in a new state, a new home, a new body, a virtually new life, I also feel overwhelmed, lonely and bored. It feels selfish that I even say this but it's my truth so I am going to own it. I don't know anyone in Vegas, I don't have family or friends here and I am bored stiff. I haven't come out of my fat shell to the point that I am the social butterfly I believe I was twenty years ago... friends are hard to come by and I don't take them lightly... so knowing what I know now I am not likely to just go and introduce myself to people for the sake of doing so... I need an event, a chance meeting where I feel like we were supposed to both be here at this time for a devine reason... ok cut the bullcrap you say??? ME TOO!! I have an excuse for everything which is partially my problem... maybe wholly my problem huh? So basically where I stand right now is at 214 pounds... eating myself into oblivion... not having gained or lost a pound in at least three months. Up until today I have not been working out or had a plan. A few weeks ago I did meet someone KB, you know who you are and she has been checking in on me and showing a tremendous amount of moral support. I am so thankful for you. All I can say right now is that it's true... you don't have surgery on what is in your head and when you strip away the fat then all your excuses for not living up to your potential are gone as well and maybe you realize... you aren't who you thought your were... then you realize... well who the hell am I then? This is when your journey really begins! I will let you know about ME... when I find out... until then peace and blessing to all of you...
Felicia
4-12-06
Hello OH family, its me again with an update on my progress.
I suffer bumps and bruises (so to speak) but i'm not down for the count. I am constantly trying to redefine or better myself. I am constantly trying to make better choices or at least think first and not act spontaneously in my decisions. I don't want to walk around with my blinders on for the rest of my life and this "food issue" is something that i "have" to get right so that I can move on to bigger and better things in my life. I have been between 200 and 215 pounds for the last two and a half weeks. Actually up until two and a half weeks ago I WAS 215 and before that I fluctuated between 206 and 215. (if anyone wants to be technical).
I decided to join the raw food movement (so to speak) this just means that I decided to eat the way nature intended me to eat in an effort to control my sugar intake, processed food intake, and bad carb intake. To date I am 202 pounds since I started this two and a half weeks ago and my weight is stable from day to day. it does not go up, it either stays the same or it goes down. I think that is because I have eliminated all and i mean ALL unhealthy alternatives from my diet. I made a post on the message board that I feel best describes what I am embarking on and I will post it here as well, to avoid having to be repetitious. I hope you all get something from this post and I hope you understand that my heart is in a good place when i advise you of my experiences and that i "encourage" you to join me or find your own way... but just do "something". I hope you enjoy!
i have the same problems with carb addiction. three weeks ago i went to costco and bought a bag of famous amos cookies and a bag of doritos. now i'm sure i don't need to remind any of you how BIG those bags were? i didn't think so :-) ) I polished off the bag in less than a week (which is better than the old days when i would have polished it off in one day) and then i proceeded to polish off that HUGE bag of famous amos cookies in about a week and a half. at about 3/4 into the bag i realized that i had a big problem. i felt lost and hopeless and i felt like this is not where i want to be in my life. its all mental as far as i am concerned and it is all about the word "control". that seems to be the theme of my life. either i want to be in control of everything and everybody or i don't want to be in control at all. i see everything as merely black or white, no in-between for me.
while i am struggling with this new revelation; i asked myself what do i do? it seems like i need the answer to be complicated because then i can have an excuse why its too hard to achieve; but the truth of the matter is that the answer is simple. too simple. i need to decide to do something different. i know my addiction comes from sugar and carbs and i had to decide to eliminate them from my diet. no body knows better than me that this is NOT going to be an easy task and its not going to be as simple as just NOT buying something or throwing things away. I do that all the time when I binge. I don't keep the treats in my house but in any given moment of turmoil I numb myself to the point that i can drive blindly to the store, get my goods, come home eat them, and then trash the rest.
it's pretty easy to let ourselves do what it is that we REALLY want to do anyway especially when we haven't educated ourselves on the REALITY of what it is that we are doing to our bodies physically. The reality is that the "junk" that we are so attached to isn't even "food". The reality is that every time we "choose" to eat unhealthfully we choose to "under nourish" our bodies. if we can just think, read, listen to people talk about this subject and really take an interest on the food that we love so much to find out "what it really is" then there is NO HUMANLY WAY POSSIBLE that we would choose to eat something that was labeled, say for instance "plastic". if an authority figure came to you and told you that a fast food french fry is coated with the same thing they coat plastic with then i think it would be easier to let go of that french fry. (im not claiming that this is true, i'm merely being hypothetical) when we educate ourselves on one food at a time then it is much easier to let go of "one food at a time". if we have to do it alllllllllllll at once then the task seems like too much.
my challenge for you is to write down all the foods you have issues with. then one, by one educate your self on all of its ingredients. #1 it will keep you busy for a while and #2 i don't believe that once you know better that you will not do better. (thats my favorite quote from oprah "when you know better you do better"). I believe you will be able to look at food objectively and make "educated" decisions about what you put in your mouth as opposed to letting the food/ or chemicals in the food choose you. its not your fault that you are addicted to these foods but if you know better, and still continue the same habits then it will ultimately be your choice to stay addicted. this is what i believe about myself. i dont want food to control my life anymore. its becoming more of a struggle than the struggles i have in life itself and we know that this is big when something "feels" larger than life. earlier i said that we have to do something different. we do, we have to make a concentrated effort to change our "habits".
Since i know that processed foods and sugar are my vices i decided to become part of the raw food movement. it eliminates all the foods i have problems with, introduces new foods that my body needs, and gives me the "mental clarity" i need to be able to make a deliberate choice every single day. when i have bad carbs in my system then i don't even get a chance to think objectively about my food because my brain is bombarded with so many messages telling me to buy this, eat that. when i am eating healthy fruits and veggies all day long then I would have to really go against myself in order to make a poor choice. i can see, feel, touch, and taste my choices now. There are messages in my mind that still say "oh how i would long for a cookie right now" but before, that was the only message i could hear. Now the message is there, right along with another one that says "look at what you have done so far. you are on the right track now, do you want to mess all this up with a cookie? is it worth it? think of what that cookie is made with. think of all the goodness in this banana. i can satisfy your craving equally. i have so many more good messages that it would be sheer defiance to go against them; which in my book would mean that i don't want to find an answer, that i would rather stay stuck. i don't know that being a raw foodist is the "best" answer. I don't medically know if it is safer for our new pouches and for the absorption of vitamins but i do know that it is better that a bag of famous amos cookies and doritos. I had to give myself a chance and folks you have to give yourself a chance too. that one week detox is sooooo much more fulfilling when you come out of it and you are able to clearly receive the message that you aren't crazy and it was the sugar controlling you and you are not a sick, fat disgusting pig who just can't control yourself. all those things are the furthest from the truth about who we are. we are smart, compassionate, eager, beautiful people who just want to be free. I know thats what i want; to be free. thats what this journey is all about isn't it? my take is that its what they put in the food that keep us bound and we need to rebel against THAT and not against ourselves and our bodies. I always joke and say that the "white devil" (sugar, flour, white rice, white bread etc) is trying to kill us and you know what? maybe they aren't "trying" on purpose but they are killing us and so are we going to let them?
i am going to post the blog of my girlfriend who also went raw in Jan. of 2006. she has lost over 50 pounds so far and thats without having had surgery. I lost 15 pounds in two and a half weeks. (i had gained 10 of those eating famous amos and doritos and that's why I believe i lost it all so quickly). we are now on this journey together. I started out thinking that I could only last for one week. I just couldn't commit myself to more that. I couldn't imagine that I would be able to go without the foods that i soooo loved for more than that amount of time. salads everyday? ugh!!! i don't think so! fruit? huh... why? but what i found was that the first week was the hardest. but because i "wanted" so bad to be free from my addiction i "had" to tough it out. I ate salads with spinach, raw corn that i shucked right from its body, fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, scallions or red onions, raw zucchini, raw hummus (which you have to learn to make or be just 99% raw and purchase hummus from the store, its still good for you), fresh garlic put right into my salads and fresh avocado that I sometimes made into guacamole and put right on top of my salad as a "dressing" these are the tastiest salads I ever experienced and i started to do variations. I added fruit to my salads. I experimented with what they call raw "living bread" which is a combination of sprouted grains (which can be purchased at whole food markets) and nuts and herbs, dehydrated at below 105 degrees which helps it to maintain all its natural goodness.
I made raw pizzas, tomato sauces with mango in it. I drank fruit smoothies and made fruit sorbets. i am now immersed in finding new ways to "uncook" things and make them tasty, new ways to satisfy cravings "healthfully". I buy "uncook" books and go to "raw" cafes instead of traditional restaurants. look for one in your area and just go and try a dish. you will be soooo pleasantly surprised and yes people they have raw deserts. they have a carob pie to die for, it is carob power (looks like ground up chocolate) and avocado (what? as a desert? yep) and dates all blended up to make something that looks and tastes just like chocolate pie or mousse and I swear it's good for you and tastes so yummy.
there ARE alternatives other than what's in the snack food aisle. lets explore them together, my OH family. let's see if we can change what is now "their" (the industry) will to what is "our" will. I know i am headed in that direction, I challenge anyone to join me. lets keep each other accountable. the website is www.RawOdyssey.blogspot.com and my partner's name is Allison. You can email either one of us if you have questions or comments. I want to be there for you guys and in the process hopefully I will challenge myself to excel. my email is [email protected]. I invite anyone to contact me and know this: whatever you choose that is right for you, I wish you the utmost success and I respect you ALL for coming this far.
Sincerely,
felicia
(wow i wrote alot huh?) i guess i just had a lot to say. i pray i helped someone see light at the end of their rainbow.)
4-15-06
Surprise, surprise... I am actually posting more than once in a months time. I am surprising myself! Well the reason I am posting again is to update you all on my progress; especially since I posted my new raw diet info. Some people emailed me wondering how I got my protein since fruits and veggies don't provide much. My response was that nature does provide protein rich foods and that we just have to educate ourselves as to where to find this nutritious goodness. Unfortunately they don't teach us THIS kind of nutrition in school. I don't know everything because I am still learning but I do get much protein from sprouted beans, nuts, something called nutritional yeast flakes, hemp seeds, and I do use soy milk even though it isn't considered raw. There are raw cheeses found in health food stores and we do get a small amount of protein from all the salad greens, some fruits and other vegetables that we consume.
I'm not going to preach to the choir here about how wonderful a raw diet is for the body, mind and spirit. It's wonderful for me... What's wonderful for you; is for you to seek and discover. My point is that you start seeking SOMETHING because we all know or are slowly coming to the realization that this tool doesn't last forever and at some point we have to kick in some new habits in order to make the gift that we have been given; everlasting. We are addicted to sweets and most of us are addicted to carbs. We have to push ourselves further and further away from that type of eating.
If you are African American you will find the devil in mac. and cheese or fried anything especially chicken/pork chops. Look at the "southern diet" We convince ourselves that we can eat "greens" but we cook them till they are limp with no nutrients left in them and then we add nutrition-less matter to it in the way of bacon grease, or cooked animal fat! You know what I'm talkin about... fatback, salt pork, smoked ham hocks, smoked turkey is better but its still deadly! We eat sweet potato's but we laden them with sugar and butter... and if we bake them we still eat it with butter... don't we? and we convince ourselves that since we baked it... a little dab of butter won't hurt. Right? Wrong! It will hurt PEOPLE... it adds up over time... and most importantly it keeps us stuck with the same nutrition-poor mentality. It kept me stuck and that is my truth.
Eating raw gives me a chance to "see" where it is/was that I am stuck; in all areas of my life. My head is clearer today then it was almost three weeks ago when I first started this. I believe that date was March 26 2006. I noticed that I lost about 15 pounds the first week and a half and then I noticed that I began to maintain after that. I know that my body isn't supposed to be happy at still 202 pounds so I decided it was my body's way of telling me I need to kick it up a notch. I started back exercising yesterday. Now folks I HATE exercising but have been known in the beginning of this process to overdo it because I knew I needed to maximize my results but once I got what I wanted I would always stop. I am curious to see how far I will let myself get into this health thing this time.
So basically my update today is to let you guys and gals know that during this raw adventure I now find myself clear on the fact that I need to incorporate physical activity into my regimen. I was never "clear" on that before. So I will let you all know how "clear" I remain because as far as I can feel in my soul... I still HATE the "thought" of going to the gym... but strangely enough when I went yesterday... I "felt" great! Later to all you pre/post ops and good luck finding out "who" you are in this long but rewarding journey.
If you visit my girlfriends website at http://rawodyssey.blogspot.com/ you can always find out what I am "uncooking" these days!!
Felicia
4-17-06
Today I am extremely tired. I wonder if my vitamin levels are low. I should get the results of my blood work back this week. I am trying to take in more water these days and exercise more frequently. So far I am successful at both. I worked out two days this week and am drinking at least 6-8 glasses of water a day. Which is WAY more than I have been drinking (try none!) I eat ice all day but I know that this does not amount to much water so now I tell myself in order to eat the ice I have to fill the glass with water and drink it first. It's a constant compromise.
I can't seem to stress enough that it feels wonderful to be rid of my addiction to junk food. I remember three short weeks ago I couldn't walk into a grocery store/ or convenience store without the junk food isle calling me to its attention. It was a very subtle call but one that motioned me eagerly to its isle and had me mentally picture biting into each and every item that lay in front of me until I had made a decision on which 2 or 3 things would get to leave the store with me. IT IS THE MOST AWEFUL FEELING TO NOT HAVE THAT CONTROL... It hurt me everyday because I constantly questioned myself and beat myself up wondering what is wrong with me. Why can't I stop? My girlfriend pointed out that she now knows it was the "food" it's what THEY put in the food and it's NOT us. I see that for myself now. I really do. If I can stay away from processed foods (and I now believe I have the will to do so) then I can manage my addiction.
We (food addicts) can't have the best of both worlds. Just like drug abusers, they can get by on the “light” drugs for only so long until they end up “binging” out on the hard stuff. Who are we fooling but ourselves when it comes to this food thing? We haven’t learned to live with it so it is my premise that we have to learn to live without it. And since this is a life saving decision I say that the choice isn’t that hard; it only feels like so because you are used to living/ eating a certain way but at what point do we grow up people? At what point do we let go of that inner child who "needs" to have things his/her way ALL the time? Stomping her feet and throwing tantrums...
All I know is that my time is now and I am going to shine. Getting and staying fit is my goal and it is more important than a piece of cake or a doughnut... and for me; that's the bottom line. I'll check in wit'cha later! Good luck... You can do it.
Felicia
4-20-06
Quickly, I just wanted to share with you that I am FINALLY out of the 2's!!! Y'all know what I'm talkin about... outta the 200's and into the 100's... 198 to be exact. Hallelujah! Today I am extremely grateful. Oh and I received my bloodwork (if anyone cares :-)) and the only thing that seems to be low is my iron. Go figure. I must be doing something right on this diet. Even my protein stores look good, but I won't get toooo excited until I meet with my doctor and bombard her with questions. Well its before 8am and will be sunny and 82 degrees here in the land of the desert, so I'm off to enjoy life now... and an avocado sandwich! Smootches.
Felicia
4-29-06
Boy is it HOT here in Las Vegas! 90 degrees outside today! I am not complaining though because I feel GOOD! Just thought I would drop by and say HEY Y"ALL. I can't say that I have lost any weight since my last post. I haven't gained either. I seem to be losing inches though which is always nice when you can't see the scale move; this makes me content. Also the fact that I know I am doing right by my body makes me happy as well. I am still hanging in there, doing the raw thing. I am loving it more and more each day. Now that it's getting hot outside I can't imagine eating anything hot or heavy anyway! So I think I am where I am supposed to be with this thing and right on time.
I posted my journey to becoming RAW on Allison’s website as well as some new pictures. If you all want to check me out and see what Felicia's looking like THESE days... you will have to go to:
http://rawodyssey.blogspot.com/
I'll see you when you get there!!
Felicia
5-1-06
Hey out there in cyber world, I hope everyone is doing well. The more I ponder this raw lifestyle the more I am grateful that I found my way into it. There are people all around me who are wishin that they could kick the sugar habit, or some other food habit and here I am beating my addiction. I am not saying that I am better than anybody, because throughout this I am humbled and grateful; believe me! But I can see that people are visibly pained by the choices that we have come to convince ourselves that we can not forsake. People don't want to "sacrifice" what I have had to sacrifice but they want the same result; which I would have to say is "freedom". I'm just puttin it out there. There is a "way" for each individual, and I do not push what I have chosen for "me" on anyone, but I will say that it's working and if it wasn't or for some reason I fall off the wagon... so to speak, y'all will be the first to know. And if anyone has questions or just want to drop me a line... I do answer all my emails so just let me know you are out there... I would love to hear comments or suggestions if anyone has any. Your presence known will keep me writing.
Thanks and I hope to hear from all of you soon!
Felicia
5-8-06
Hello all!! Well I am still hangin on here. I just wanted to drop in and say that I am doing well with my new eating style and feeling healthier than ever. I must say that I haven't lost any weight lately so I am guessing that maybe my body is in shock right now. Maybe it doesn't trust me that I am going to stick to this eating plan and doesn't want to let go of the fat! Who am I kidding? I wouldn't want to let go of it either if I were my body. I know I have tricked it way tooooooo many times. I am trying not to cry too much over the non loss because this would be my first "plateau" in 170 pounds. I really can not complain can I? So what I am trying to do is remain patient and tell myself that there is no way in hell that I can eat like this every day and hold on to this weight. So I keep going, head strong and faith in tact. Wish me endurance. I am human... I need it.
I am interested in what anyone has to say regarding my lifestyle change. Please email me... I often wonder what you all are thinking out there in cyber world. I notice I have had almost two hundred visitors but few make comments. I need a little eggin' too... let me hear what you have to say. Good luck on your individual journeys and I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Felicia
5-11-06
Hello everybody, just checking in with you all to update you on my progress. I had not weighed myself in a few days because I just didn't want to focus so much on the fact that my scale was not moving. I wanted to be happy about my healthy food choices and the fact that I was still losing inches but today I weighed.... drumroll please..... I am now at 195. I went from being obese last week with a bmi of 30 (can you believe that?) to being moderately overweight with a bmi of 29. Hey I'll take it is all I can say for now. Well I hope you all have your own mini successes to celebrate and remember today is as good a day as any to start something. So get going! I'll write again soon. Mark C. if you happen to be reading this you could give a girl a holla! Hope all is well.
Felicia
6-2-06
Hello everybody, I am trying to be diligent in updating my profile here at OH. I should start by saying that I am still lingering in the 190's - last I checked I was 192. I believe that is a three pound loss since I last posted. Hooray for me. I must admit that I have a lot of "fat" days lately. I don't know what it is about our perception but it's often hard for me to see what others say they see. I feel frumpy and lumpy all the time. I have to wear a girdle to appear smoothed out but I know the truth of whats under that fabric. I guess deep down I feel like a lie. I feel guilty not appreciating where i am now because I came from such a worse place. What I have now is way better than what I had to look at two years ago yet I can't make peace with my body. What's up with that? I don't say that to say that I am not happy... because I am still totally happy. I find myself making 100% better food choices, I am hopefully heathier in the last two months than I have ever been. So for that I am grateful. The raw food way of life is still working for both me and my partner. I still find that I use food to comfort me, but now it's just healthier foods. I think it will take time to overcome such longstanding bad habits and I won't rush the change. Sometimes we have to just let go of the "shoulds" and embrace the now. I guess that's the direction I am headed both in body and spirit. Hope you are all making progress and I will update soon.
Felicia
6-7-06
Update time!!! Last weekend me and Allison went out to a club and got our boogie on. It was a good time! People hoovered around me and egged me on while I did my version of the Beyonce booty shake. I was good, if I do say so myself. (and i do :-) ) I had red wine and was feeling fine. I did notice since going raw that the wine affected me alot sooner than it would have in the old days. I barely finished the second glass of Merlot before it was going straight to my head. I had fun none-the-less. Since admission is free for residents in most clubs here in Vegas it was a nice treat for very little money.
So that was one night; then the next night we wanted to carry on with the fun and had been tossing around the idea of adding fish to our raw diet because Allison is losing her hair (we think lack of sufficient protein) and I am quite lethargic these days (I think lack of protein, low b12 and low iron) Since I am bad at taking my pills daily, I need to focus on getting these essential vitamins somehow. We chose sushi; we went to a sushi restaurant and she had raw fish (I would never eat meat raw! and I had smoked samon in my sushi... we both asked that they not put in any rice. It turned out deliciously and I only had one roll as opposed to the six rolls I would have eaten in the past! I can't worry about what the naysayers think of me being raw and eating meat. I have decided that I will incorporate healthy fish/ seafood into my raw diet to supplement some nutrient loss. I have to do what is right for my body is what I am learning on this journey to health and well being. I was really afraid of failing myself in this whole thing. I thought that I would fall down a slippery slope if I allowed myself to eat anything other than raw but the truth of the matter is that I haven't been 100% raw from the beginning and I have been doing just fine. I have eaten some feta cheese, blue cheese, and organic hummus. I started this journey still drinking coffee and substituted creamer with soy milk. I eventually weened myself off of coffee altogether. The things that I love I see that I can keep in my diet successfully without the urge to over eat and anything that makes me crave more food or unhealthy things I have to quickly eliminate. I am proud of myself that I have been able to do this and thats what I will look to in order to move to the next step of health and wellness. I am not going back to processed foods, or cooked foods and vegetables, I am only incorporating a couple types of animal protein to my diet; while maintaining my other raw habits. I will let you all know if there is a vast improvement in my labs as well as the way I feel. I feel I am being true to my new body and my evolving self and for me when it all boils down to nothing... that's the point.
I hope you all will do the same.
Felicia
7-2-06
Update time! First and most importantly I am now at 183 pounds. I am estactic that I am only 23 pounds away from my goal weight of 160 pounds. I am still eating a raw diet and it is more manageble every single day. I can barely stand the thought of going back to my old unhealthy way of eating but that doesn't mean that the thought doesn't cross my mind. When it happens i remind myself where I came from and where I am currently. There have been major changes to my life and relationships with people in general. I won't go into detail because thats not my style but life does change drastically when you lose so much weight. I can say that I am becoming a happier me and trying to take ownership of my feelings and my own personal happiness. i started a new job that challenges me in a big way and I am just trying to open new chapters in my life. I am a size 10 and can fit into some size eights... if they stretch some. I shop a lot and spend way too much money. I am currently considering my plastic surgery options. I will keep you all updated on that chapter which is to be coming soon. Good luck to all and I will update later.
Felicia
7-08-06
179!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Still going.....
11-4-07
yup its been a while and i don't know i'm going to tell you in this moment. what landed me back on my own page is the fact that now i am seeking plastic surgery, not that i havent been on the site because i do still drop by every now and again to see how the world of pre and post ops go... to the point... i have been up and down and currently i am up. the weight game remains a struggle but i choose to plow on anyway... so thats why i am going to stop waiting to do the plastic surgery thing. i am still in vegas and lovin it... i still have no regrets of having this surgery and wish everyone in limbo or those who have moved foward the best of my wishes!
Felicia
