Accepting failure

Jan 07, 2016

Okay.  Today is the day I say it.  I have failed my RNY.  I have regained 60 pounds from my lowest point and I am disgusted with myself.  I hate myself for this and I am terrified I won't qualify for a second chance - that word none of us wants to hear - REVISION.

My gain got out of control after I started treatment for Generalized Depression and Anxiety.  The meds just made me pack on the weight despite eating the way I had been which had resulted in my maintaining my weight for 4 years.  Even adding 3 days of runners by into the mix doesn't help any and the extra weight makes me feel like a real slug.

I called Dr. Courcoulas on December 31 and started the ball rolling.  I called today since I haven't received the scripts yet for the nutritionist and the upper GIand these were sent on the 31st (late in the day so probably didn't go out until the 4th or 5th.)

She only revises to eRNY, or distal, which I know brings the harshest of criticisms on this board but it's what I'm having.  No way will I have the band simply because maintaining it is a nightmare and the failure rate is unbelievable.

Now I am researching and crossing my favorite fingers.  I really hope the revision will become a reality or else I went through all of this only to end up right back where I started from.

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