3 months out and struggling is this normal?

I have lost a total of 40 pounds. (Have stalled for 3 weeks)  Problem is, I feel bad because I have not been doing exactly what I'm supposed to. I am trying, but I have struggled to stay completely off the carbs as directed. It seems like the more I try the more I want them. A family member of mine (who is 4 years out and has success with the surgery) has warned me that I will stretch my stomach out if I'm not EXTREMELY careful with carbs (breads etc..). I worry about this constantly. I'm talking about....instead of only eating the meat off of a roast beef subway sub, throwing away the top and only eating the bottom bread with the meat. Sneaking in a rice krispy treat in the evening....after eating perfectly all day long. Small bowl of fruit loops after eathing perfectly all day long. I mean I'm told no sugar free pudding, no yogurt ....I am supposed to be on a strict diet! I only have dumping with fatty foods, (I sure wi**** was with sugar!) My Dr. warned me that gastric bypass patients would dump on sugar and that would be the better choice if we were sugar addicts....I was afraid of that surgery.  I am 40 more pounds away from goal. Has anyone else ever gone through this after surgery?

The first bite for me of anything carb-y, sweet, etc - that will send me into an eating frenzy. I cannot have one bite unless it's planned into my day and I wont have unlimited access :-p.

But I do eat those things - usually if i'm out to eat, special occassion, etc. My number one rule is never to have them in my house or office. If it's not there, I can't eat it. I had to stop going to subway because I started eating the bread - now if I want to go out, I might go to this little Greek Cafe and get a chicken kabob instead of a sandwich. You have to be able to think through these choices ahead of time so you aren't staring at temptation and have to make a choice.

It's not easy, but you have to be able to resist going for those treats on a regular basis.

You know your post makes a lot of sense to me. I know what to do....I just need to do it. When I used to be a Weigh****chers member/ leader, I would plan out my day. I think that is key for me because I simply don't make good choices on a whim. The other thing is, I have to get past feeling defeated because of this and figure out what all I need to do to get past it. You have given me some good advice to get started.  Thanks for your input.

I'm the same way.  I don't keep treats and junk in my house.  I do indulge on occasion, but only when it is planned and I don't have unlimited access. 

One of the major tenets of my surgeon's plan is NO UNPLANNED EATING.  If I really want something, I make an informed decision, and I PLAN it into my day and my calories.  I don't let my head hunger and urges drive what I consume.  That's what got me to 282 pounds. 

Most gastric bypass patients DON'T dump.  Or if they do, it's only early out and then the dumping lessens or goes away completely.  So don't stress over that.

The way my mind works, it's easier to abstain than to moderate.  If I tell myself I can't have it at all, I can stick to that better than if I try to have just a little every now and then.  And the real trick is to avoid situations where you have the temptation.  So, why are Fruit Loops and Rice Krispy Treats in your house?  They're both crap.  Tasty crap, but crap.  Get rid of them.

There's nothing terrible about eating bread.  It won't stretch out your stomach.  Some folks have trouble eating untoasted because it expands in your stomach and can be uncomfortable.  If the bottom of a sandwich fits into your calorie and nutrition goals for the day, then go for it.

Are you tracking what you eat?  It's sometimes tedious, but tracking is an invaluable tool and, stupid as it is, once you know you have to log it in, you think twice about putting something in your mouth.

I have to stay commpletely away from them.  For me, i started adding one thing in the evening (chocolate pretzels come to mine).  It was just a little bit, but it led to more and more things.  So now I keep all that junk out of the house.  My in-house habits are very good now (most of the time).  I travel a lot for work, though, and find that the most challenging.  i start out trips doing really well, but at some point, I cave and have "just one" little thing.  It leads to an avalanche of things.  Every.single.trip.  I am currently working through strategies to break this cycle.  It's hard.

So for me, absinence is key.  It sucks, but it is what it is.

Traveling is tricky.  I carry emergency rations with me, and I've often wondered what the TSA agents would think if they opened my suitcase and found the snack sized baggies with vanilla protein powder.    I also carry the 100 calorie bags of beef jerky, along with a few protein bars, a few individual packets of Justin's peanut butter, a few Scandinavian crispbread slices, and some roasted edamame.  And, with the exception of the protein powder, everything is usually unused, unpacked, and put back in the pantry when I get home.  But it keeps me calm to know that I have a fall-back strategy if things get complicated with food.

I have done some of that.  This trip I had jerky, a protein bar and nuts.  Still didn't keep me from straying eventually.  It's a mental thing in many ways!