Ok, I'll try to explain it to the best of my ability, anyone else, feel free to correct me.   Calories aren’t the only thing the body uses to determine if 'fat' should be burned up.  It's a combination of calories AND protein.  So, if you've been eating 400 calories a day and very little protein, your body thinks it's starving and basically holds onto those 400 calories as much as it can. Currently, I'm on a 500 calorie/60-80 grams protein per day diet and I'm steadily losing.  When my surg/nut told me my daily limits, I didn't even think such a thing was possible.  Get that much protein with that few calories????  Well, it can be done, and I do it every day. As for Anorexics, their situation is different.  Of course they lose weight,  their bodies have nothing to hold on to, even in starvation mode.  But that is an extremely dangerous option for weight loss.  The fact is, if you don't give your body enough protein every day, it has to get it from somewhere, so it will take it from your muscles.  And yes, your heart is a muscle.  Continual days of protein deficiency can and will cause IRREPERABLE damage to your heart.  My suggestion:  *  Track what you eat, not just calories, but fat, protein, and carbohydrates.   *  Make sure that you’re getting enough liquid every day.  Some people forget that since a lot of the liquid we get every day is from food, when we’re eating less we need to up our water intake to compensate.  *  Make sure that you’re getting your vitamins and minerals every day.  Imbalances can really affect your weight loss and your overall body chemistry. I hope that helps . . . DON'T GIVE UP!!!

I tried posting this before, but I think it got fudged up, so I'm doing it again.

I went in for my un-offical weigh-in yesterday and was stunned to see that I'm still doing well, even after some slight slippage last week (cheesecake flavored hershey kisses are PURE EVIL).

My spreadsheet looks like this:  After factoring in my start weight, surgical weight, current weight, goal weight, and todays date, I figure that I'm losing .80 pounds per day.  Yeah, that's right, .80 pounds per day.  That seems drastic and unhealthy to me, but I feel great.  According to some further anal retentive calculations on my part, I have 159 more days/5.3 months until goal.  I know that's unrealistic.  As I get closer, the weight loss will slow.  I can already see that trend.  But even if I've a few months off, it is possible to lose 300+ pounds in one calendar year and not be a corpse?

Ok, let me start off by saying that I tend to be on the anti-social side, but I am not a psychopath.  People that know me already know the occasionally twisted sense of humor that I bring with me wherever I go.  That being said, I still have the occasional 'incident' where my sanity is called into question.

Case and Point:

I've lost a lot of weight since my surgery.  I'm still a big guy, but I'm not as much of a wide-load as I once was.  Being the prudent, thrifty, cheap, and generally lazy individual that I am, I have yet to update my wardrobe to match my now smaller stature.  Because of this, my pants are constantly in a state of droop.  I'm pulling them up, adjusting them, cursing their existence pretty much all of the time.  I had an unfortunate incident in the frozen food aisle at Wal-Mart recently.  No joke.  I was admiring the seafood selection when I noticed a breeze in my lower regions.  That's right.  My pants were down.  Luckily I was not seen by anyone.  I'd hate to be brought up on some kind of bizarre obscenity charge and have to explain why my pants were down in Wal-Mart.  And to the curious, yes, I was wearing underwear!  They are also falling off of me.  But there's no solution for that quagmire.  I did consider 'going commando', but such a thing should be illegal.  I am a firm believer that there should be as much protection as possible between myself and strange people's genitals . . . unless you're a hot female with loose morals. 

I'm digressing . . .

After the Wal-Mart incident, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I was on my last belt loop.  And the irony of the situation is that 3 months ago, I was on my last belt loop the OTHER way.  Once again, my practical side kicked in.  Why buy a new belt when I can just create a new hole in this one?  At this point I should probably mention that I live in an apartment.  The amenities that you 'homeowners' can't live without simply aren't needed by me.  Lawn mowers, garden hoses, etc.  I also do not own a hammer.  Don't need one.  Why have one?  So I kept putting off this 'hole making' ceremony until I finally got off my duff and purchased or borrowed a hammer.

Last week, while sitting at work, I came up with the brilliant idea of making a new loophole without carpentry tools. Why not?  I'm a man.  I can do anything!  I removed by belt and laid it across the desk on top of a thick magazine . . . Cosmo, I think.  Don't ask me why I was reading Cosmo!  Unfortunately, the scissors we have here are the 'short bus' variety.  Seriously.  These things barely cut paper.  Safety Scissors!?!?  I guess they figured we'd all be running with them or worse, stabbing our Supervisors in the neck.  Then I tried a thumbtack, but my belt is made of a REALLY thick leather (how do cows wear this stuff???).  Then I remembered that I have a knife that I use as a letter opener.  I should explain a bit about the knife.  It's what's known as a 'Tactical Folder'.  Not huge, but not small by any means.  Serrated edge, one handed operation, all very high-tech and fearsome looking.  These kind of knives were designed for police officers, military types, and those that wish to kill silently.

I began by using the tip of the knife to 'drill' a new hole.  This worked up to a point.  I pressed harder, but the tip still wasn't getting all the way through to the other side.  So, I start stabbing the belt like a wigged Anthony Hopkins in Psycho.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see my Supervisor stopped in her tracks.  Now, me and my Super, Joy, have gotten along very well.  We've worked together for . . . going on 9 years.  She knows I'm a little wacky at times, but the look on her face was a mix of fascination and pure fear.  Can you imagine a ventriloquists dummy coming to life and slowly swiveling his head to look at you?  That's what I must have looked like to her.  She didn't say a word.  She just backed away extremely slowly and returned to wherever she came from.  I didn't even try to explain what I was doing or why.  I thought it was best to just let the moment dissolve.  Yes, I did eventually get a new hole in my belt.  But at what cost?  We’ve talked since then, but haven’t discussed it.  I believe she may have blocked out the entire incident like some kind of trauma.  I broke her brain.  I wonder if she has nightmares about it . . .

Damn you, WLS!!!!!  You've cursed me with tremendous weight loss and now you’re affecting those around me!!