My BF's NON Weight-Loss is making ME cry!

We've both been watching our calories pre-op...he started at 370 and is now 366 (4 pounds)-- I started at 368 and am now 347.6 (20.4 pounds). This just the OPPOSITE of what I expected, knowing that men lose faster. I posted about this two weeks ago-- he had a stomach virus, and people said, "Wait until it passes, then you will see." Went to the gym last night-- and again...no change. He is eating 1800 cals. a day, I eat 1500, but he is male and 5 inches taller. We exercise together, and I know he isn't "cheating." The only differences I can think of is that he is on blood pressure meds (I am not) and he has a history of dieting, and I really don't. (I've upped exercise for health, but never followed a "prescribed "diet.) In any case, I can't feel as good as I'd like about my own progress without him. Can anything really explain this? We're stumped. -S.

Are you eating the same things or just staying below a certain number of calories.  I recently purchased FitDay, a great software that tracks every morsel of food I eat  down to the exact amount of creamer I put in my coffee as well as every movement I make then tells gives me reports.  For a week I have decided to eat anything I wanted as long as I stayed under 1800 calories.  According to the software calculactions my average calorie burn is about 2400.  Well, I ended up eating absolutely anything and everything I wanted including 2 days running around with my 13 year-old nephew and we ate nothing but fast food and junk.  Bottom line, I never went over 1700 calories.  My average is 1500 calories. And I realized that is how I always eat.  

So why then, if I eat 1500 calories and supposedly burn 2400 calories a day do I not lose weight?  The answer is probably in the breakdown of my daily calories.   When I looked at that chart about 50% of my my calories are carbs. (and most are processed food not good fiber carbs).  About 35% is fat and only about 15% is protein.  I am guessing that is the key.  

Those who advocate just low cal. diets would be hard pressed to understand what is happening to me.  I think the advice to eat more protein, more fiber and higher qualities of both is best.  Poached or grilled salmon for example is generally a better choice than a spoonful of peanut butter.  I always knew this, but the key to weight loss is not necessarily how much we eat, but what we eat.  I also have a bad habit of not eating all day then pigging out at dinner.  The grazing concept also has merit (unless it is after WLS because most surgeons will tell you not to graze). It sound reasonable that you eat something healthy every few hours it keeps your metabolism going and digestion does burn more calories than just sitting around.  

Out of all of the diets I have tried in my life (and there have been dozens) the Atkins diet is by far the most successful for me.  BUT it was hard to maintain for a long time.  I think if you follow the concept of counting carbs instead of calories and paying attention to eating for healthful foods that you will see the weight fall off if you can stick to it.  Doing it together should be much easier then alone.

Hope this helps.

Jennifer

We both use FitDay also-- every day, every bite, religiously.  Besides the caloric goals (mine 1500, his 1800) we try to keep our protein above 30%, and fats under 25% every single day, and we've been good at that. I try to eat a little throughout the day, then a slightly larger dinner at night-- although that's not ideal, it's a damn sight better than what I *was* doing, you know? It's also because eating better requires that I prepare food, and it's easier to do so at night (I work full time). We also do exercise-- probably every other day at the moment (any more is painful, even walking) and we take multivitamins (mine with iron.)

So basically, I am counting carbs AND calories. Yay!

-S.

Well that just sucks.  You sound like you are both really committed to this!  THAT is the biggest challenge in losing weight.  I am not a nutritionist, but I am an expert dieter by experience.  I am now working toward WLS because I have had such a problem with weight cycling and I am getting too old and too frustrated to try again, but in the past I have lost 30-70 lbs many times without killing myself.  I have used crazy diets like the cabbage soup diet (THAT was insanely stupid) and not so crazy diets like Atkins (although the medical community used to look at him as a nut).  By far, the Atkins concept was most successful for me in getting the weight off, but I could never stick to any diet for long and I would gain the weight back (and more).

Has your BF had blood work done to make sure your BF doesn't have thyroid problems?  I think women are more likely to have thyroid problems than men, but men certainly experience it too and other physiological issues could come into play as well, so I would recommend a physical with bloodwork.  What about H2O intake?  Are you both doing well with increasing that?  

Also, we all know that muscle burns more calories than fat so you are not just burning calories as you work out, but as your muscle mass increases you will burn more calories just sitting around as well as with every movement.  Muscles take a while to develop, but if you keep up the working out you will definitely see momentum and the weight will slip off more quickly.

Don't let this discourage either of you.  Every day that you stick to the new way of eating and every day that you work out adds to the momentum.  If you stick to it you WILL succeed.  It is just that simple.  You are doing great, and you are stronger than I am right now!

Jennifer

Thanks, Jennifer-- but don't count yourself out just yet-- I have a couple things on my side as far as rapid loss is concerned: 1) I weigh a LOT more than you 2) I have not dieted throughout my life, so I have a virginal metabolism. I think that helps. Press on! Yep, he's had all the bloodwork, as have I. The only think I TRULY suck at is drinking the water-- but Propel's helping me through some of that. Best of luck! -Shari

Wow, it sounds like you and the BF are doing sooo well.  If you are not accustomed to dieting this will really help you deal with the post-op regimin and get your bodies going on the weight loss momentum that surgery will kick into gear in a big way.  Especially getting into the habit of drinking water.  I do pretty well with water but a gallon a day seems like a hell of a lot, especially when you consider drinking it spoonful by spoonful.  

What is Propel's? and how does get more water into you?

I am not down and out yet, but this whole WLS precert diet thing has me scraping around for motivation.  I am excited about the surgery and the new life, but very frustrated with having to do what I have done for years, yet ANOTHER time.  It is probably helpful that you and your BF are doing it together.  My husband is a skinny, tall guy who gains 5 lbs in his little belly and thinks the world is coming to an end.  He lifts weights for 3 or 4 days, does a few sit ups, takes the bun off of his hamburger for a week and voila!  He is back to 175!  He is very supportive of me and assures me that he loves me no matter what, but it would be better to have someone going through the same thing.  I am really thankful for this site.  It is a good place to vent too!

You and your BF are doing everything right.  You will be on the social page of your local paper as hottest couple before you know it!  Keep it up.

Some people are just slow losers.  Regardless of what they're doing.  It's frustrating, but our bodies can be weird like that.  Keep reminding him that slow and steady wins the race!  Good luck!