Letting myself get bummed out
I've been letting myself get bummed out lately because I was SO HUGE when I started this process. Even after I lose 150 freaking pounds, I'll still weigh over 300. I admit, I look at people who are around 250lbs and am almost mad at them for getting WLS. The part in my brain says "omg you guys are NOT that big" but I remember being that size and feeling HUGE and miserable.
Will I ever get to have that "after" picture of being the toned and thin little thing that I see around these forums? Or will I still look "fat"? I mean don't get me wrong, if all I can do is get down to 250 it'll feel like I've lost a TON. But still. Can I ever get to Onderland or have I just let myself go for to long?
They warned me that I could get emotional after surgery. I'm guessing this is what everyone was talking about.
Will I ever get to have that "after" picture of being the toned and thin little thing that I see around these forums? Or will I still look "fat"? I mean don't get me wrong, if all I can do is get down to 250 it'll feel like I've lost a TON. But still. Can I ever get to Onderland or have I just let myself go for to long?
They warned me that I could get emotional after surgery. I'm guessing this is what everyone was talking about.
Okay Honey,
First, did you JUST have surgery? I am nine months out, and am PROUD of the 155 I have lost, and am aware of the remaining 100 - 150+ pounds I still have to go. Yes, we have a lot further to go than say those "lightweights" who are under 300 at their start, but it also took us LONGER to get to the weight where we started.
When I look at other folks who started at a similar weight to me, and they are losing faster than me, sure I get a little bummed. But you know what? I also remind myself that it took me years to get to my highest weight, so it may take years to get all that excess off.
Before you start feeling bummed, take a moment and think back 150 pounds ago -- were you able to do what you are able to do now??? I can answer my question with: I can swim 3 miles in two hours; I can wear clothes I almost forgot I had; I can fit in my truck with ROOM to spare between me & the steering wheel; I can fit in ONE seat on an airplane; I can slide into a booth at a restaurant; my kid actually notices how great I look; I don't have to drive around the parking lot like a shark for the closest parking place; I can climb two flights of stairs without being winded (from the bottom floor of my house to my bedroom); I can run around at 14,000 feet like a billy goat; I can wear smaller SHOES; I am taking less medications; my grocery bill is a lot smaller; I am a cheap date; I feel so much better about myself.
I could keep going, but I think YOU should start a list of YOUR OWN! Feel good about where you are, it is harder than allowing yourself to have a pity party, but trust me, you will be a whole lot happier!!!!
Brenda : )~
First, did you JUST have surgery? I am nine months out, and am PROUD of the 155 I have lost, and am aware of the remaining 100 - 150+ pounds I still have to go. Yes, we have a lot further to go than say those "lightweights" who are under 300 at their start, but it also took us LONGER to get to the weight where we started.
When I look at other folks who started at a similar weight to me, and they are losing faster than me, sure I get a little bummed. But you know what? I also remind myself that it took me years to get to my highest weight, so it may take years to get all that excess off.
Before you start feeling bummed, take a moment and think back 150 pounds ago -- were you able to do what you are able to do now??? I can answer my question with: I can swim 3 miles in two hours; I can wear clothes I almost forgot I had; I can fit in my truck with ROOM to spare between me & the steering wheel; I can fit in ONE seat on an airplane; I can slide into a booth at a restaurant; my kid actually notices how great I look; I don't have to drive around the parking lot like a shark for the closest parking place; I can climb two flights of stairs without being winded (from the bottom floor of my house to my bedroom); I can run around at 14,000 feet like a billy goat; I can wear smaller SHOES; I am taking less medications; my grocery bill is a lot smaller; I am a cheap date; I feel so much better about myself.
I could keep going, but I think YOU should start a list of YOUR OWN! Feel good about where you are, it is harder than allowing yourself to have a pity party, but trust me, you will be a whole lot happier!!!!
Brenda : )~
Thanks for your reply Brenda. I needed some positive words. And yes, I did just have surgery (about 2 weeks out now). I guess looking at the LONG road I have ahead of me was a little daunting. I've already had a "wow" moment in this short amount of time... I can wipe my own ass. Sounds silly to people who have never gotten this big, but damn it's a big deal. I know there are many large women who can feel me on that one.
My weight loss goals are almost all phsyical activity based and not appearance based (although I do admit that I would like to look cute). My biggest goal is to jog with my dogs. I've had Lucy for 4 years and Angel for 3 and never once have I been able to take them on a longer than 5 minute walk. I would LOVE to jog with them.
My weight loss goals are almost all phsyical activity based and not appearance based (although I do admit that I would like to look cute). My biggest goal is to jog with my dogs. I've had Lucy for 4 years and Angel for 3 and never once have I been able to take them on a longer than 5 minute walk. I would LOVE to jog with them.
Everything you are feeling is totally normal. I am 2yrs out and I still look at "lightweights" who have 100 or LESS pounds to lose and I want to scream "NOT FAIR!" but then I remind myself that 100lbs. is a lot of weight to carry around unnecessarily and really I think I'm just jealous that they had the foresight to have WLS before they let themselves get into this scary 50+ BMI range.
I know it seams daunting at the beginning, so set small goals for yourself. Give yourself some fun rewards for reaching those milestones. For example, when I lost my first 50lbs after surgery I got a facial ( LOVE THOSE!) and really celebrated my achievement. I also went to the pet food store when I was buying my pooch's food and picked up a 50lbs bag of dog food and marveled at how I had gotten rid of that!!
So bottom line, be proud of what you have done so far, and look forward to all the wonderful things you'll be able to do when you lose the weight. It's not about a specific number, it's about a lifestyle change and sounds like you're going to be just fine.
:Danni
I know it seams daunting at the beginning, so set small goals for yourself. Give yourself some fun rewards for reaching those milestones. For example, when I lost my first 50lbs after surgery I got a facial ( LOVE THOSE!) and really celebrated my achievement. I also went to the pet food store when I was buying my pooch's food and picked up a 50lbs bag of dog food and marveled at how I had gotten rid of that!!
So bottom line, be proud of what you have done so far, and look forward to all the wonderful things you'll be able to do when you lose the weight. It's not about a specific number, it's about a lifestyle change and sounds like you're going to be just fine.
:Danni
:Danni >>>AIDS/LifeCycle 10 & 11 Finisher: 545miles on the bike in 7 days <<<
HW390/SW340/CW 208/GW170
OMG! Look at you, stunning! I'm doing wonderful, how are you?!?!
:Danni >>>AIDS/LifeCycle 10 & 11 Finisher: 545miles on the bike in 7 days <<<
HW390/SW340/CW 208/GW170
I have felt that way often. I'm not sure the light weights understand us, or that we understand them. All we can do is be responsible for what we are doing. Keep following the plan, be diligent, and it will come off. Not sure if you'll be a twiggy or not, but I'm content with where I am.
Bonnie
Bonnie
I can do hard things, life is teaching me that I can.
Lost 222lbs with rny, 20 lbs regain.
Plastics, July 2010 with Dr. Sauceda in Monterrey, Mexico
It is almost as if you are reading my mind from one and a half years ago....I thought it would never happen (onederland) and it bothered me to see/hear the light weights complaining. My highest weight was 420...and I am now 191. I keep setting small goals for myself and I keep knocking them down. This is a tool and a process...only YOU can determine how far you will take it. Congrats on your success so far! Good luck to you!
Sara
Sara
When you start noticing the little things, then they all start adding up!
Wiping your own butt without doing some weird contortion (I used to have to, too!) is a big "wow' moment, so celebrate! I can actually shave my own less noticed body parts - without help - now that is a "wow" moment ;)
Look at how long life is - usually 70 or so years. How many days in a year - 365 -- do the math, it all adds up to a LOT of moments. I plan to live a very long, and a very full life, so I figure even if it takes me two years to lose most the weight, I still have a lot of time to enjoy not having the weight around!
HUGS!!!
Brenda " : )~
Wiping your own butt without doing some weird contortion (I used to have to, too!) is a big "wow' moment, so celebrate! I can actually shave my own less noticed body parts - without help - now that is a "wow" moment ;)
Look at how long life is - usually 70 or so years. How many days in a year - 365 -- do the math, it all adds up to a LOT of moments. I plan to live a very long, and a very full life, so I figure even if it takes me two years to lose most the weight, I still have a lot of time to enjoy not having the weight around!
HUGS!!!
Brenda " : )~
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