Just venting over remarks people make-thanks for listening!

Hello everyone: Ok Here's my beef of the day:  I am just over 3 years post RNY.  I currently weigh 243#.  I have lost 207# (from my highest known weigh in).  Now, I find I have alot of excess skin and it really is all over my body area i.e, sagging batwing arms, floppy legs, but mostly I have a pretty large apron that hangs down -maybe not to my knees yet but it bothers me when I look at myself in a mirror which isn't often.
 Now, I have had plenty of wonderful support throughout my journey.  Friends, family, and even co-workers have really been encouraging through it all EXCEPT currently.  Now  it seems all I am hearing is "When are you going to have plastic surgery?  Have you seen a plastic surgeon yet? or Oh I bet you'll look much better once you have plastic surgery.  I could go on and on.  I have developed a sort of complex over this now.  I am feeling more insecure than ever.  It's like I'm never going to be good enough or look normal enough.   At least this is how I am perceiving these remarks.
Am I making too much over nothing do ya think?  I will admit to be complacent these past few months as far as exercising/or even watching myself but after getting sick on a 80 calorie boneliess chicken breast at 3 years plus out, I am approaching chicken again with much caution!
 
There are just some days I wish others would think before they ask things.  I was told I still have to lose another 50# before a plastic surgeon will even consider doing a panni on me.  While this is discouraging to say the least, I can understand it -I am not totally comfortable with my body at this stage either, however, I just don't need reminders, either, it only makes me more aware of how far off track I've gotten!! Thanks for listening everyone _ I will work on mybody and mind, too! Take care.

 

Don't believe everything you think.

Plastic surgeons, or just your surgeon may do a panni prior to totaly weight loss.  Especially if it is a real problem, healthwise. Some surgeons doing at the time of WLS!  Mine did.

Believe me, it is worth doing.  A tummy tuck is a different surgery.  That should be done after you have reached the weight you think you can maintain.  Actually..not the weight, the size.

You will have a lot of weight in areas you have no control over.  Thus, PS.

You have to sort grain from chaff when it comes to people.  Some mean well, others are just plain stupid and insensitive.  

Keep up the good work.  

Hi Tee: Thanks so much for reading and listening and understanding, too! I guess I just have times when I get frustrated not only with others but with myself, too.  I compare myself often to how others have done and then feel insignificant or insecure about what I have done.  Thanks also for the ideas on the panni.  At my bariatric center, the NP is about a size 6 petite, etc. and very hard on her patients in terms of how much weight we need to lose.  She said Oh the plastic surgeon wont even consider you until you are under 200#.  Well... maybe I might just better try on my own then??  Thanks again for listening and for the vote of confidence - I feel better already!  Mary

Im sorry you feel this way and people have to be so crual. Wow what an acomplishment losing that much weight good for you. I havnt had my wls yet and i understand the belly thing I dont look at it in the mirror much but i had a c section 2 years ago and boy it bothers me to. I makes it harder when people cant keep there mouthes shut. But i feel you should be proud of what you have done good luck with find a surgeon. Loretta

Hey thank you Loretta for your caring and for your vote of support.  You are right that I am proud of what I have accomplished its just I tend to forget that and all the other compliments I received along the way... Now it's old news and hard work!!! I guess others don't tend to realize that either, most especially those who have known me a long while.  Good luck to you in whatever WLS you decide to have, too.  Take care and thanks again!  Mary

Oh I bet you'll look much better once you have plastic surgery. 


Boy, I'll bet that one really stung.  Some people just don't know when to shut up.

I do agree with the other poster and seek a second opinion about the plastic surgery.  whatever you decide to do, best wishes.

I am grateful that this board llows us to vent some of our feelings and so very grateful that others like yourself take the time to read and respond.  On another day at perhaps another time, the remarks might never even have bothered me but I was irked to think that I felt bad about myself and that I allowed myself to feel that way so the frustration was every bit my fault as well!!
I will be seeing my bariatric surgeon in January.  If he won't refer me then I will follow up on my own.  I just really would like to know what I might be dealing with here.  I've had no consults on a panni or TT or any of those procedures and would like to know if I even quailfy to have them done.
 Thank you again for reading and replying.  I have always gotten pretty good advice from all of the posters here and lots and lots of good words and encouragement.  Thanks again.  Mary

Next time someone says "when are you having plastic surgery" answer "when you pay for it."

You are much quicker with good responses than I am but if I may I will use it the next time these people ask me again and maybe they will be quiet and not ask again!! Thanks!

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