Surprised and not in a good way :(
My husband shared with me today that he wishes i wasn't having the surgery. He also told me that my father-in-law said the same thing to him. My husband says he will support me but it came as a really big surprise to me. He has known i am getting the surgery for 2 years and he finally says something less than two weeks before surgery. I understand that the surgery scares him but to know he doesn't want me to have it is upsetting. I know he will support me but this really has thrown me. My father-in-law and him are the closest two people i have in my life. Feeling very sad 
Referral Feb 2012, Orientation at Guelph Nov. 29/12, RN, SW and NUT Feb. 13/12, 2nd RN, SW and NUT April 26/13, Dr. Agarwal May 7/13, SW May 22/13. HW 334lbs, CW 269 lbs. Post-op nutrition course August 1/13, Dr. Jules Foute Nelong Sept 9/13, PATTS Oct 9/13, Opti Oct 16/13, Surgery Oct 30/13.
I go to a Coffee Group but there hasn't been a get together in a while and I don't think there will be one before my surgery. I'll just keep reading the positive posts on here...that will help I think.
Referral Feb 2012, Orientation at Guelph Nov. 29/12, RN, SW and NUT Feb. 13/12, 2nd RN, SW and NUT April 26/13, Dr. Agarwal May 7/13, SW May 22/13. HW 334lbs, CW 269 lbs. Post-op nutrition course August 1/13, Dr. Jules Foute Nelong Sept 9/13, PATTS Oct 9/13, Opti Oct 16/13, Surgery Oct 30/13.
on 10/12/13 2:14 pm
I am not going to put your husband or father in law down. I would not like for anyone to put my husband down, only I can do that..lol. However, myself being married for 23 years sometimes you have to grin and swallow it and just forget it. Have this surgery do it for you. Your husband is probably scared for you. Just put this to the back of mind and try not to let it hurt you. Im sure he didnt mean it in a hurtful way. Just concentrate on your prize that is coming. Hugs to you!
Thank you for reminding me who I am doing this for. Your support is helpful. I guess that I do respect my husband very much and that is why his input is sooo important to me. I am sure he is just worried too :)
Referral Feb 2012, Orientation at Guelph Nov. 29/12, RN, SW and NUT Feb. 13/12, 2nd RN, SW and NUT April 26/13, Dr. Agarwal May 7/13, SW May 22/13. HW 334lbs, CW 269 lbs. Post-op nutrition course August 1/13, Dr. Jules Foute Nelong Sept 9/13, PATTS Oct 9/13, Opti Oct 16/13, Surgery Oct 30/13.
perhaps the 2 of them are afraid of "THE BAD" consequences. Sounds as though all of you are close. There are many more success stories to look at than the other end of the spectrum. Think about the health it will give you from not being morbidly obese, and how being morbidly obese has more of a chance of hurting you, than surgery does
I talked to my husband last night about what he said and I do think he is more worried about something bad happening. Thanks for the support :)
Referral Feb 2012, Orientation at Guelph Nov. 29/12, RN, SW and NUT Feb. 13/12, 2nd RN, SW and NUT April 26/13, Dr. Agarwal May 7/13, SW May 22/13. HW 334lbs, CW 269 lbs. Post-op nutrition course August 1/13, Dr. Jules Foute Nelong Sept 9/13, PATTS Oct 9/13, Opti Oct 16/13, Surgery Oct 30/13.
Sounds like to me they are scared for you now that it is getting closer to the date of the surgery and I am sure they both will be there by your side supporting you in every way.
Just remember who you are having the surgery for and that is YOU and why you are having it.
Good luck and I along with many of others will be waiting for you on the bench.
Referral- March 2012, Letter April 19, Orientation TWH- June 6, NP - July 3, Sleep Apena test July 16, Internist and SW - July 17, Nutritional class - July 23, Dietician appt. July 30th, Psych-Social appt - Aug 20th. Follow up with doctor sleep apena Aug. 28th Surgeons appt. - Dec. 14th Dr. Jackson. Surgery date - Feb 12 2013 - VSG
Thank you and i will see you on the bench soon :)
Referral Feb 2012, Orientation at Guelph Nov. 29/12, RN, SW and NUT Feb. 13/12, 2nd RN, SW and NUT April 26/13, Dr. Agarwal May 7/13, SW May 22/13. HW 334lbs, CW 269 lbs. Post-op nutrition course August 1/13, Dr. Jules Foute Nelong Sept 9/13, PATTS Oct 9/13, Opti Oct 16/13, Surgery Oct 30/13.
That is disappointing to hear this two weeks before surgery. Likely the closer to surgery the more their fear and negativity will come out. And so will yours.
If you know this surgery is for you, then keep marching forward. Stay strong. You are so close now. Go with the faith that this surgery will make such a positive difference in your life. Good news is that your husband has at least said he will support your decision. He is bound to be worried and fearful. It is us who truly spend two years going through the process and it is that truly know whether or not we are prepared to accept the risks. We have been emotionally and mentally closest to the process. I think it is perfectly natural to have people around us, even those closest to us, to have reservations about this surgery.
Chin up. Put one foot in front of the other. They will be there for you in the end.
