Question:
Has anyone else ever had the embarrassing situation of breaking furniture...
I'm a little over 400lbs approx. and unfortunately have had the embarrassing situation of breaking more than one piece of furniture because of my weight. Has anyone else experienced this and if so how did you deal with it? I'm waiting on insurance approval and am having a hard time waiting. I'm afraid of even sitting anywhere. Any help would be appreciated. If you'd prefer to email me please feel free. [email protected] — Rebekah A. (posted on August 13, 2002)
August 13, 2002
Shortly before I had the right insurance for my surbery, but after 3
denials by my existing ins, I was sitting eating my naked tuna one day and
my own dining room chair leg broke, and threw me head first into my sliding
glass door. How did I handle it? I was mad that I didn't hit it hard
enough to put me out of my misery. I know that's shocking, but I was
barely able to get UP off the floor, souldn't breathe while struggling to
do so, I was alone, and I just did not want to have to face one more moment
in that condition. So, um, I'd guess you would say I did not handle it
well.
— vitalady
August 13, 2002
I have broken a chair or two in my day. I had met with a huge group of
friends from a newsgroup and we went to a bar. I had a lot to drink and
was scooting my chair back to get up and use the bathroom when both legs in
the back broke off and I fell backwards and hit my head on a pillar. This
was on the first day of our convention and for the rest of the weekend I
was completely humiliated. I just kind of blamed it on being drunk, and
everybody told me how flimsy the chairs were, but it was awful. I really
don't know how to deal with it, I just wanted you to know I have been there
too.
— Nichole B.
August 13, 2002
Well, about two or three weeks before surgery I broke a chair in my bosses
office. I did not do it on purpose, I had a problem with obesity and that
was no secret to anyone. I just got up, pushed the chair away and got
another one. I went back to working. What else can you do?
It is not a character flaw, nor is it an intentional goal to be obese. You
are doing what you can now to pursue changing that. Don't feel so badly, it
happens. But it won't for long and you will find some comfort in that.
Be well, stay safe.
— Ann B.
August 13, 2002
I am afraid to sit anywhere too.I broke my sister's bed twice and she was
really angry with me, I've even cracked floor tile. I've bent the steel
chair at work. I broke my mom's futon. I cracked a few of our diner table
chairs. That's part of the reason I'm mostly in my room. I'm sleeping on
just a mattress now because 2 weeks ago the wooden frame of my bed cracked.
I've broken the plastic lawn chairs when I try to squeeze my fat but
between the arms of the chair. It's a really embarrassing situation to be
in. Especially when somebody says "what happened to that chair"
and someone else replies and says "Samar sat on it and broke it"
Everywhere I go, I break something. My family even goes so far as tells me
not to sit there cuz it's new and they're afraid I'll break it. Trust me
you're not alone.
— Samar M.
August 13, 2002
Hi, I have never actually broke furniture, but I am paranoid about it. I
have a job that I go to peoples home to interview them for medicaid and I
always scope the room when I walk in thinking what will hold me? I also had
a persons floor once that was rotten and I was so afraid I would fall
through one of the weak spots. You are not alone - it gets better after
surgery. Just look for sturdy furniture to sit on till then.
— Pam W.
August 13, 2002
I am pre-op & over 400 lbs, yet I can still laugh at myself for the
chairs I've broken in the past. When my husband and I were first married,
we had to live with his parent's until our housing situation was taken care
of (BTW I never even met his parents until 2 days after our wedding). One
night we went to the porch to enjoy the rain. They had these relatively
sturdy (ha!)folding plastic chairs that I decided to try and sit on. I got
myself wedged in and barely breathed for fear any movement would bust the
chair. Well, about 3 minutes later, I fell to the floor. I was
devastated! I started crying, I was mortified. My DH was the best. He
told me it was no big deal and folded the chair back up (somewhat awkardly)
and stuck it behind some coats to be found at a much later date when no one
would know what happened, or at least there would be no proof. *G* Since
that day I have always always always look twice or three times before I sit
down to see if the chair can hold me. I deal with it the same way as the
previous poster, I am who I am, a MO woman and even though I won't be this
way forever, when a chair does occasionaly break now I shrug it off as part
of life. I don't get embarrassed by it, I just deal with it and get a new
chair which helps those around me not be embarrassed for me.
— Susan L.
August 13, 2002
My best buddy good naturedly named me tiny after breaking a couple of his
folding chairs. He proclaimed me the official chair tester and had me
bounce on them a bit after adding welded struts to all his chairs. I also
leaned gently on a car on a jack one night and knocked it off. The wheel
was off and the tire flat. My friends though that real funny ands still
mention it from time to time.. Glad those days are OVER !
— bob-haller
August 13, 2002
Hi, Last year I was a patient in the hospital. I weighed in at 404lbs. Did
I break any furniture? Well not exactly furniture, I broke the darn toilet
off the bathroom wall. There I was, sitting there doing my own business,
when I heard this LOUD cracking sound. Next thing I knew, BOTH- me AND the
toilet were sitting on the floor. The toilet bowl was attached to the wall
(I'm sure you've seen those kind) and did not have a floor stand to it. Of
course the nurse came running in and said "are you okay?".
Needless to say I was so embarassed. Also, I was in a room with 3 other
patients, all of whom now knew what happened. The nurse called maintenance
to come fix the toilet. Well, when he got there and walked in the bathroom
he yelled "My God, what happened here, I can't fix this, the whole
danm thing is off the wall." I cried for the rest of the day and told
them I wanted to go home. In my appeal letter to the insurance company, I
told them about this incident too. I did not handle it very well at all at
the time, but now a year later I sometimes laugh about it with my family.
Deep down though, it really hurts.
Patricia Clem
— Patricia C.
August 13, 2002
No broken per se, BUT I took this wonderful man to meet my father who was
in the nursing home. My dad knew I was there to introduce him to this
great guy I wanted to marry (I was 39 but still as giddy as a 15 year
old!). Soooo, at some point I went to stand up and lo and behold, the
stinking wheelchair I had been sitting in had stuck to my butt and was
lifted in the air when I stood. My great man said something about it being
a shame the way they made those chairs too small and my dad guffawed so
loud I thought I would die. Everyone laughed and I knew I really loved my
dad and this wonderful man and that it would all be alright. And this was
when I didn't know there was WLS and that I could possibly be healthy again
someday! Be gracious when you need to be, laugh a bit and enjoy life. I
pray that my experiences (and the ones I learn here) will keep me from
being judgmental to others with other problems. Great luck and joy! Nelly
— Nell C.
August 14, 2002
My husband and I had been married less than a year, and were sharing a more
intimate moment in the living room. We busted the back of the couch! I was
mortified, and completely crushed when he mentioned it to a friend of his
-who promptly gave me a hard time about it. For the almost nine years since
then, I have scrutinized every object I've considered sitting on and often
sit in the floor so I don't have to worry about winding up there anyway. We
replaced it with heavy wooden furniture, I busted a support piece on it
standing on it to hang drapes. I've learned to pick by sight the strongest
points of different furniture and will perch rather than be comfortable. I
can't wait until I've lost enough to leave this paranoia behind.
— Mendi M.
August 14, 2002
These posts are GREAT. I'm told I have a warped sense of humor, but I am
laughing(with) so hard! I can relate to these. We need to put these all
together in a category - like, say BBB Big Bloopers and Blunders.
I have been STUCK in chairs, tripped and put my HANDS through chairs,
broken and bent chairs, cracked toilet lids.
And to answer your question, you either laugh or cry. I've done both.
There's not much getting around the fact that I'm 340lbs in a 150lb
world....at least until Nov 8 (surgery date)
— Debby M.
August 14, 2002
I had to respond to this one.. I went to a support group meeting (a
requirment from the doc before he will see you) for surgery with my dh and
mom. Well I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that all the chairs there
were those metal ones with the arms on the sides. I cried and walked out. I
figured if he was so insensitive not to realize that his obese patients
couldn't fit into the chairs then I didn't want to stick around to see what
his beside manner would be like. On a lighter note.... I went to a tanning
salon where I knew the owners professionally and had to deal with them on a
daily basis. So I get naked,climb in and get all comfy when I start
hearing a cracking sound. You betcha! I broke it. I was too embarrassed to
even tell them. I drove home in tears climbed in bed and stayed there until
the next day. When I seen them come in to conduct business I pretended I
had no clue. You would think that would have made me take a harder look at
my weight but almost three years later I am fatter still and I have since
moved to Florida so I don't ever have to go to a tanning salon again.
— Danette H.
August 14, 2002
Oh...but yes...I've done this too. I weighed about 260 at the time one of
my great uncles was to appear in court (he was in trouble for setting
abandoned buildings on fire...which we knew nothing of, and he was later
diagnosed w/Pick's disease, much like Alzheimers). We were waiting in one
of the little rooms to the side, and I sat down in a wooden chair. I felt
the chair give (with all our family in the room), but somehow managed to
keep my balance without the chair collapsing. As soon as the room cleared,
I got up and tried to insert all the little parts back into place...gave up
and shoved it in the corner. I've also had those plastic lawn chairs
collapse under me (this was when I weighed 280)...that's embarrassing...but
I was also able to catch myself before anything broke. It is embarrassing,
but it's not as bad as it could have been. I drive a Grand Am that had
power seats...seems that I've somehow ruined that feature too, but
thankfully, nobody but me & DH drive the car...I guess I cope with it
by trying to hide...call me a chicken!! :)
— Lynda L.
August 14, 2002
I have never broke furniture. But I have gotten stuck in those stupid
little plastic lawn chairs. The first time I was pretty snickered (thank
god) and when I stood up the damn chair was stuck to my butt good! I just
bent over and wiggled my ass in the air until the whole place was about to
fall over laughing, then someone reached over and pulled it off my big
booty. Now, if I had been sober.... Also, the office chair at my house
has been beaten about pretty badly, the arms are all wobbly because I used
to push them out so bad when I sat in it. Now I do not even touch the
sides :) I have to say tho, reading these posts I have to laugh. Society
is so cruel that if you do not laugh sometimes at yourself, you will cry
all the time.
— smedley200
August 14, 2002
I had to ride on an airplane and I was mortified about having to ask those
skinny stewardess people for an extenstion, all I could picture was them
looking at the other skinny person in the back and saying, "hey we
have a biggun here need 1 maybe 2 extentions here" I laid my seatbelt
across my lap and pretended it was fastened. the seat was so small I
figured if we crashed I would be stuck in the darn seat anyway : ) my
significant other and I make fun of each other all the time she calls me
buttzilla and i make fun of her chins. It makes being big a little less
stressful. my surgery is 9/20/02 her's is not yet scheduled.
Good luck to you all. Smile it ain't so bad just darned inconvenient.
— Peggy A.
August 14, 2002
Yep, been there, done that. I used to have to go into different people's
homes as part of my job. I often had the choice of sitting on a flimsy
wooden chair or a cat-piss soaked couch that I would need a crane to get
out of. I chose the couch rather than risk the embarrassment of breaking
the chair. One time, I heard a crack and noticed the futon connection had
come loose. I told her it was there when I had sat down. One client
called to complain to my boss that I had broke her chair when I hadn't,
just to try and embarrass me. Another time, the chairseat wasn't screwed
on to the chair and when I went to pull up and sit, only the seat came and
I ended up pulling over a restaurant table when I fell. Then there was the
time I broke the toilet, you know, the kind suspended from the wall in the
handicapped stall. I swear the thing was cracked at the connection, but my
leaning to the left to wipe was all it took for the whole thing and me to
come tumbling down into fouled water, minutes before I was scheduled for a
deposition as an expert witness. How did I handle each of these events?
With the complete range of shame, grief, mortification, humiliation,
weeping and stuffing back all those feelings with more eating. Finally,
when I broke the toilet is when I began seriously thinking about WLS. I
was over 500 pounds and as the Chinese proverb goes: "If you don't
change your direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed."
When I look back over my 44 years of life, I have an astounding memory for
the time I stood in the parking lot of a friend's apartment building,
huffing and puffing from climbing 12 stairs, peeing my pants from stress
incontinence and waiting until my bladder was empty before getting in my
car, knowing people where watching me. The small children who began crying
and clinging to their mom when they saw me, the many, many stupid things I
have said to another human being, the multiple times my dress has been
tucked in the back of my pantyhose exposing my hind end because my skirt
was so big, I couldn't find the ends of it, and all the other ways the
universe and my lot in life has conspired to make me humble. Finally, now,
I am pretty comfortable with simply shrugging my shoulders and saying,
Welcome to my Humanity. I make a lousy goddess, but I am a perfect human
being, with just the right number of flaws and embarrassing moments. It
gives me more compassion when someone like Pres. George W. Bush waves hello
to Stevie Wonder. Now THAT'S embarrassing!
— merri B.
August 14, 2002
It's an interesting question - and one that always shouldn't be looked on
as a bad thing. This was the reason I am on my journey to weight loss
surgery. I broke our beautiful oak sleigh bed in April of this year and
spent the whole night on my couch crying myself to sleep. I still remember
the moment where I stopped crying and got a stiff upper lip and
said..."I'm not putting up with this any more!" The next day, I
made an appointment with my wonderful PCP (who had suggested this surgery 2
years ago!) and decided I had to..."get busy living...or get busy
dying." I know it may not be the kind of answer you were looking for,
but for me, breaking that piece of furniture may have been the first moment
of the first day of the rest of my life. Take care and look for the good
in everything (even the really bad things). I always lived by the
motto..."God truly never gives us anything we can not handle."
It is made to make us stronger - have faith. Lots of hugs!
— Tracy H.
August 14, 2002
I went with my girlfriend to a homeowners association meeting. She works
for a property management company. I was sitting on a folding chair. Midway
through the meeting, I felt the chair give way and I sank down about six
inches. I don't think anyone saw it happen. I was sooo embarrassed, I just
sat there supporting my weight with my legs until the meeting was over and
most people left. I stood up and looked at the chair. The seat was bent
down at almost a 45 degree angle.
Once, my brother and I went to a restaurant where they had benches attached
to the wall, a table and then regular chairs on the other side. I sat down
on the bench side. My brother said he wanted to sit on the bench. i told
him to sit on the chair. He refused and sat down next to me on the bench.
The moment he sat down, we heard a CRACK and the bench lowered a few
inches. We sat eating breakfast barely moving for the next twenty-five
minutes terrified that we would bust the bench right off the wall!!
I had this big chair that I would sit on in my room and watch TV. It had a
steel frame with huge leather padding on it. I fell asleep in it one night
and woke up when one side of the chair gave way and I was dumped sideways.
Once, I went to a neighbor's house to fix her computer. She led me upstairs
into her office. While we were walking across the floor upstairs, the floor
went "CRACK". I had visions of falling through the floor. She
stopped and looked down at my feet but didn't say a word. i felt
humiliated.
Another time I was in my brother's garage with friends. We were laughing,
talking and drinking beer. Out of nowhere, the chair I was in gave way and
I went straight down to the floor. It was so sudden and happened in front
of four other people, that I just started laughing hysterically. The others
joined in. Could've been the alcohol.
Most of these stories are funny to me. Funny and painful. It's one of
those, if you don't laugh, you'll cry type of things. I'm always concerned
about the furniture I sit on. I long to one day be able to sit in the
dreaded 'chair with arms'.
— Jon W.
August 14, 2002
My favourite story about this concerns (I think!) Winston Churchill. His
wife sat on an antique chair in some very la-di-da upper class person's
home, and the chair broke under her weight. Sir Winston looked at her
reprovingly and said, "Now listen, I've told you before -- that's
*not* funny!"
Granted, if it had been my husband, I'd have taken him outside and killed
him....But yes, I've broken furniture. It's embarrassing and horrible, and
draws even more attention to your weight, which you're positive everyone is
secretly judging and commenting on anyway. Funny thing now, though, is that
after losing 135 lbs., I still look at chairs and try to judge a) whether I
will fit in them without the sides cutting into my thighs, and b) whether
they will hold my weight. I guess it takes a while to figure out that we've
actually lost the weight. Good luck on your journey!
— Karen I.
August 14, 2002
Wow! What a question. I once broke a chair when I leaned back (not on the
back legs, I was just leaned back) and the chair promptly gave way and
crashed to the ground. I was less than 300 pounds then. I've managed to
break the frame on my parents guest bed, I've broken my bed at home, though
only one side. Woke up in the middle of the night when the poor thing just
gave out and crashed to the side. Its propped up on cinder blocks to give
it a proper, sturdy base (a la hillbilly), but for now it works. I don't
want to buy another bed until I weigh @ 200 pounds or less. Also, I've
heard many a cracks in furniture I've sat in. I also broke a toilet seat
in my parents house. THAT was the most humiliating. The only consolation
I can give you is that one day you'll fit in all kinds of seats and thae
worry will be one that you'll forget you ever had. Right now although I
still weigh @340 I've lost 150+ pounds and I can fit in all kinds of chairs
with ARMS!! Woohoo. I still look for couches, loveseats, anything meant
to hold more than one person, figuring that it could hold my weight. I
have to admit that now, I am really enjoying 'trying out' all the office
chairs at work!!
— Pamela P.
August 14, 2002
I've had several of these furniture incidents. The most embarassing and
thus memorable invlove office chairs. At my current workplace I broke a
couple of chairs. They've pretty pricy chairs and if they aren't leather
they're pretty good imitations. Well, they finally bought a
"special" office chair for me. It's a huge chair and it's very
good, I love it. However, it's just a little embarassing to be the only
one with that kind of chair and everybody knows why I have it. I guess it
beats breaking anymore chairs. Also, I feel like I get blamed anytime a
chair gets damaged even if I had nothing to do with it. Every time I see
a broken or damaged chair I just think, "great, their gonna think I
did that."
I'm 2 mo. post and I'm down 70 pounds. I'm still a potential chair breaker
until I lose more, but I can't wait until I just don't have to think about
it anymore.
— Scott L.
August 14, 2002
I was at a marina in Portland, getting ready to have lunch with two friends
(both very fit and very slender). It was those plastic, rubbermaid chairs.
I sat down and then slowly sank to the ground because the heat had made the
chair more "pliable." Oh well...
— Katherine M.
August 15, 2002
I just wanted to say thank you to all of those who answered this question!
Its nice knowing others are going through the same thing. I just found out
great news...my insurance has approved my RNY! HALLELUJAH!! Soon I will no
longer have to worry about breaking anymore furniture! Thanks again!
— Rebekah A.
August 15, 2002
First of all, congrats on your approval! I genuinely felt for everyone who
bravely shared their experiences. I've gotten so used to "scoping the
room" for the best chair that I tend not to even think about it
anymore. Let's see, years back when I lived in a studio apartment, I bent
the metal frame on my sofa bed, rendering the pull-out bed useless...so for
several years, I had to sleep on only a sofa. Once when staying overnight
at a relative's home, the folding cot upon which I was sleeping gave way in
the middle of the night. In fairness, that thing *was* pretty flimsy.
Over time, I slowly cracked part of the wooden frame supporting one of our
wicker patio chairs, and I've certainly taken my share of plastic, resin
outdoor chairs with me for the ride when I've arisen. = } Those toilets
that have no proper base underneath and simply extend from the wall always
make me nervous. If ever I were a patient in the hospital and had a room
equipped with one, I was prepared to bring the matter to the attention of
the staff by requesting that maintenance place a firm block of wood between
the wall and the commode. As I understand, most hospitals are prepared to
do this upon request. By the way, I just loved the Winston Churchill
story! I also wanted to offer encouragement that it does get better
post-op. Earlier this week, my husband and I had dinner at a restaurant in
Century City. I've not been able to fit into a booth in years, but this
place was very dimly lit, so I thought, "Well, let's see. It's so
dark in here that even if I can't fit, no one will really see what's going
on." What a pleasant surprise to find that I fit with room to spare.
— CaseyinLA
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