Question:
Should I Be Embarassed to Go see the doctor?
I had surgery in October 2002. I started out okay, then noticed I could eat more than I should have been able to early on. I also had a very big emotional upheaval that next month, which caused me to not be able to attend the support group meetings. I could only visit my daughter on the days that they had the meetings, so I really had no choice. Long story. Anyway,I never lost a whole lot of weight, and am now regaining. I'm so depressed, I haven't been to the doctor because I'm so ashamed. I don't want to live like this but I can eat as much as before surgery, honestly. I know it doesn't make sense. I had the RNY, was transected, so this shouldn't be possible, right? I have made several appointments to go see the doctor, only to cancel them because I hate myself so much for being such a failure. I am so afraid. I know I will die if this keeps up but I'm too ashamed to ask for help. Well, I guess that's what I'm doing now. Sorry for rambling on so much. — cleo718 (posted on May 25, 2004)
May 25, 2004
This is just my opinion, but I think you should go to the docotr and
explain what happened and tell him/her that you still want to be successful
and what can you do to be successful. I don't know if that will warrant a
revision, or perhaps will just mean that you need to get some nutritional
guidance to help get you back on track, or that you might need to have
tests run to check and make sure your surgery is still as it should have
been. I think that if you really truly want to lose the weight, then you
will be willing to seek the answers from docs. I hope for you and pray
that you will find the help you need and not a doctor that will belittle
you and make you feel like a failure. I don't know what went wrong, so I
don't know if it was because of something you did or something that just
went awry with your surgery, but regardless, you want help, so I think you
should seek it and be honest. But, that's just my opinion.
— Christy L.
May 25, 2004
Honey, please go see Dr. Miles. There is no need to be ashamed of
yourself. You are a human being and you are struggling. Perhaps he can
offer a solution that will help you. There are also medical reasons that
can cause little or slow loss and even regain. You should have it checked
out. Please know that you are a lovely woman regardless of your weight and
your surgeon is there to help you - so am I. You are not a failure!
Sometimes we may be in the midst of failing but as long as we are trying
then we are never failures. Keep your chin up and never doubt for one
minute that you are worth every effort you put into yourself.
— ronascott
May 25, 2004
Sweetie, I know it's embarrassing that it's been so long since you've seen
your doc, but nobody has actually died of embarrassment yet. You're not the
first patient to put off an appointment. You need to get your bloodwork
checked for one thing. And once you get working with your doc again and get
back on track, you'll feel alot better. You've come so far already. Best
wishes, Lisa
— LisaHillsinger
May 25, 2004
Please don't be embarrassed to go back to your doctor. Whatever it takes
to get back on track will be worth it. I've gained a few pounds, but you
know what, tomorrow is another day. When I eat like I should, it makes me
feel so much better - mentally & physically. My best to you!
— Jazzy
May 25, 2004
GO TO THE DOCTOR! :) Put your embarrasment aside and put your health
(physical and emotional) first. You DESERVE it!
— [Deactivated Member]
May 25, 2004
YOU posted: but I can eat as much as before surgery, honestly. I know it
doesn't make sense. I had the RNY .... SADLY it DOES make sense YOU were
just NOT informed before you had YOUR RNY. One of the 'THINGS' that CAN
HAPPEN when you have an RNY is a 'failed stoma' (YOU have the classic
symptoms) - and a UPPER GI test will/could have diagnoised it for you....
so please go to the doctor; a failed stoma is basically the 'opposite' of
stricture (where the opening the doctor made for your food to pass from
your pouch to your intestines) where as MOST peoples stoma close some after
surgery; some too much and they cant eat and drink (stricture and have to
be opened) a FEW of us (more and more it seems) the stoma doesnt shrink,
what happens then is when the person starts on normal food they notice they
can 'eat' more than their other RNY PEERS, what is happening is food is
going directly from the esogus into the intestines. The intestines will
act as an artifical 'stomach' and it WILL let you eat more - you will NOT
feel the food restrictions you expected because YOUR pouch is NOT being
used. When this happened to me my surgeon did not understand what was
happening - at 5 months post we did the Upper GI test which showed the
'why'....Thats the GOOD news... there is a REASON for what you are going
thru. When I was diagnoised with this in early 2001 I could find nothing
about it! The American Bariatric association finally talked to me and told
me 'surgeons' have know about THIS problem for years, failed to 'fix' it so
when ever a doctor gets a patient who has it... referts them to 'diet &
excercise'.. Also, as in your post... ALOT of people are NOT aware this CAN
happen when they have an RNY and ASSUME THEY DID SOMETHING WRONG!!!!!!!!
Its one thing to go into this surgery knowing WHAT could happen, and if it
does deal with it... its another story all together to go into this surgery
NOT having this bit of information and what is happening then triing to
'deal' with it... IT can cause so much heart ache. .... hang in there.
But YES go to your surgery, and as for an UPPER GI test... then go from
there.
— star .
May 25, 2004
Hi Wanda. You could very well have a physical problem that can easily be
remedied. The only way to find out is to go see your surgeon! If it's not,
let him/her support you and help you get help so that you don't gain any
more! Any doctor worth his/her salt won't try to shame you, but will look
for ways to help. So go make another appointment right now...stop reading
and go do it! And promise all of us that you'll keep it this time. We are
all behind you and support you and want what is best for you. Sometimes you
have to take the first step and ask for help before someone can give it to
you. You go girl!
— Kimberly C.
May 25, 2004
you really only have 2 choices.....get help and healthy or keeping hating
yourself and don't get help.
— franbvan
May 25, 2004
Wanda,
There are MANY RNY post-ops who have experienced very much the same that
you have. YOU have not failed. Your surgery has failed you. There are a
couple of Yahoo groups that may be of help to you:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/WLSrevisionsupport/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DS_Revision/
You will find warm, caring, supportive folks there who know very much of
what you're going through.
Hope that helps.
Blessings,
dina
— Dina McBride
May 25, 2004
I know it is hard to go back to the doctor and admit that you haven't lost
the weight like you are supposed to. I had my surgery September 2001. I
only lost 64 pounds and gained back 30 of them. I felt like a failure. At
first I thought about getting a revision. I made an appointment with my
doctor, started going to support groups, started exercising 5 days a week,
and modified my diet. I have managed to lose about 23 pounds so far. I
know it is harder the further out we are, but it is still possible. You
just have to work at it. I really hope this helps. Lois
— Lois M.
May 26, 2004
Wanda...please don't feel bad for what has happened to you and having the
weight gain. I'm sure all of us have been in a position where we used food
for comfort. I know you mentioned being ashamed because you'd gained your
weight back. Please speak to your surgeon about the possibility of having
a revision done where he can make your pouch smaller. Good luck and
remember everyone here really does want to help others and I'm sure
everyone feels as I do...please feel free to ask questions and advice.
— Katherine F.
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