Should I Be Embarassed to Go see the doctor?

I had surgery in October 2002. I started out okay, then noticed I could eat more than I should have been able to early on. I also had a very big emotional upheaval that next month, which caused me to not be able to attend the support group meetings. I could only visit my daughter on the days that they had the meetings, so I really had no choice. Long story. Anyway,I never lost a whole lot of weight, and am now regaining. I'm so depressed, I haven't been to the doctor because I'm so ashamed. I don't want to live like this but I can eat as much as before surgery, honestly. I know it doesn't make sense. I had the RNY, was transected, so this shouldn't be possible, right? I have made several appointments to go see the doctor, only to cancel them because I hate myself so much for being such a failure. I am so afraid. I know I will die if this keeps up but I'm too ashamed to ask for help. Well, I guess that's what I'm doing now. Sorry for rambling on so much.

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