Question:
Am I unconsciously Sabotaging WLS

I feel like I'm sabotaging my upcoming surgery and I don't know why or how to stop. I stopped smoking which was a requirement of my surgeon in order to have the surgery and in the process gained 12 pounds. My doctor told me I have to go on a liquid diet to drop 20 lbs before my surgery(lap RNY)and what did I do,went to work and ate carbs!! I feel like I cannot stop eating sugar and I'm scared. I've been wanting to have the procedure done for 4 years and now that my date is right around the corner I'm screwing up. Part of me is excited about getting out of this "fat suit" yet the other part is terrified of not being able to "eat". I don't know what to do!!!    — tinamatthews (posted on December 3, 2004)

December 3, 2004
your fears are real and valid. i felt the same wasy, I was on the last supper like it was going to be my last meal ever. Fortunately at Bariatric treatment center, they did not even begin to suggest that I lose weight preop. What I did do on my own was start an exercise program to get into the best shape I could preop. Congrats for quitting smoking! a wonderful healthy accomplishment! That took a lot of dedication.
   — **willow**

December 3, 2004
COngratulations on stop smoking. I am sure it is not easy and it is a step to surgery. One of the previous posts said, it is silly for the surgeon to make you loose 20lbs. Really it isn't. The reason they do it is because it shrinks your liver and it makes it much easier to do the surgery. My surgeon did not require it, but asked if possible try and drop a few pounds. You can drop the weight just think of the end result! I myself went through the last meal syndrome with a vengance.
   — [Deactivated Member]

December 3, 2004
None of us is qualified to answer why you're sabotaging your WLS efforts--but you do need to explore this in a manner in which you can get the answers you need. If your doctor told you that you have to drop 20 lbs prior to surgery, you need to explore why you ate anyway. Is there someone you can explore this with, perhaps a counselor or a trusted friend? In the meantime, get some structure in your daily schedule. Get temptation out of the way (home, work, etc) and stick to the liquid diet. Start an exercising program and stay busy. The busier you are, the less likely you will be to yield to the temptations you do have around you. Best wishes.
   — Cathy S.

December 4, 2004
I know what you are going through. I had to do a 2 week liquid diet prior to my surgery. If you have the will to quit smoking you have the will to lose 20 lbs. By all means follow your doctors orders. I know it is very tough right now but it will be SO WORTH IT in the end. Trust me. Best of luck to you. Randy 450/221/?
   — Randy W.

December 4, 2004
How was the outcome of your psych eval? Did they have any concerns about you being able to adjust to the post-op diet of a RNY surgery? If you are having serious concerns about it I would suggest postponing your surgery until you can see yourself totally committing to the diet post op or thinking about doing a Duodenal Switch surgery. There is less of an aversion to foods like meat, fruits & veggies, more normal portions, and there is no dumping at all. But even with the DS you will have to get your sugar cravings under control or else the weight loss will not happen as good as it should. As for the self-sabotage, I'm not a psychologist yet but even with my own situation, you may feel deep down that you arent worth the effort it will take post-operatively to lose the weight. If you know that is totally false, then you need to step up and say you are worth all the effort it takes to make your life the best it can be. And if you are making your life worse over making a piece of cake or candy bar more of a priority then your health, then i personally dont think you are ready for wls no matter how much you need it physically. I dont want you to think I am being harsh on you. I just want you to honestly look at yourself and be true to you alone. Hugs!!
   — ImANewDee

December 5, 2004
Boy did I know where you are hon. I went to my surgen on the 16th of nov. and he told me that I had gained 40 lbs and that if I didn't loss most of that before my surgery date that he wouldn't do my surgery. That I had to prove to him and myself that I was committed to this. Well I got p*st and thought I will show him. Well it is now the 5th of dec and I have lost 15 lbs no no I did not starve. I went on a 2000 cal a day diet, and walk a half hour every day. It really is not as hard as it sounds give me a holler if you would like to talk more. I really do know how upsetting this is and would love to give you a hand if I can.
   — Peggy R.

December 5, 2004
Tina, I am 9 weeks post op and I truly know what you are going through. My surgeon wanted me to lose 40 lbs before surgery and I was lax at first with getting with it. Once I got the date of my surgery, I buckled down, but I also told my husband that I wanted to eat this and that, he also has a weight problem, and he went along with me. Well, I got it out of my system and then looked back at why I wanted to do the surgery to begin with. I WANTED TO DO IT FOR MYSELF. So then I had to ask myself who I was hurting. I knew that I was hurting myself. I think that we have spent so much time trying to lose the weight that we become afraid of success. I am moving along and have done ok. I truly didn't have to worry about wanting to eat certain things after my surgery, because I am just not hungry. Just keep saying to yourself, "THIS I DO FOR MYSELF" trust me, I say it backwards and forwards. I have gone into my room and cried when everyone was enjoying things that I could once eat. Well, I love myself more than I love those foods that got me on the path to where I was. I am getting them out of my life like a bad dream. I can now eat to live, instead of living to eat. I care,I've been there. If you need someone to listen, email me. I don't agree with those who say that you shouldn't have the surgery. You are panicking. That is normal. It is a step into the unknown. Just remember why you first starting looking into surgery. It would be so easy if we could just stop eating altogether, but it doesn't work that way. Pray about it, that has helped me too. Good luck and may God Bless you. Debbie
   — imdebbie

December 16, 2004
I want to say thank you for all your responses to the question I posted. I did some soul searching and decided that I had to get off my pity pot and do this for me!! I've used food for so long and I guess I was scared of not having this "friend" anymore but......, it's more important for me to be able to run and play with my kids than to eat and feel bad cause of what I'm eating and then eat more, so.....I've started my low carb diet and it's not as bad as I thought....pray for me.
   — tinamatthews