Question:
Why, when I think about doing this surgery, I feel like I'm giving myself...
a death wish? I hopefully will be having this surgery by Summer, and I have found a doctor, Dr. Mitchell in Pinherst NC. I'm just scared I'll be the one to never wake up after the surgery. I mean I am a positive person, I think I have the jitters about WLS. Can anyone give me advice on how to stay calm and go through this like a trooper? Thanks and I hope everyone has a great Holiday!! — Jennifer W. (posted on December 22, 2001)
December 22, 2001
Dear Jennifer. I think we all feel or felt the same exact way you are
feeling.My road to this surgery has been long..about 6months.I am pre op
and am scheduled for Jan 3rd. My date was moved from Nov 27th 2001.I
honestly have to tell you that I almost cancelled everything when they told
me they were moving my date.But I stayed with it and I am glad I did. One
thing I have to tell you is that the preop testing they put me through was
so thorough and they uncovered some things I did not even know was wrong
with me.So already they have saved my life.I am an RN and am very
inquisitive and very nervous. You know they say docs and nurses make the
worst patients..I will try to be good..I promise.I also felt the same way
about giving myself a deathwish..well I realized that if I don't lose the
weight then THAT is a death wish.I am only 43 and have so many health
problem brought on by my weight.The jitters are normal.If you did not get
them I would question you doing this. For me it has eased up as my date
draws near.I don't want to sound morbid, but we all think about death when
we go in for surgery.I have had many operations and I told myself..well if
I don't wake up I won't know it anyway.So why be scared??? I guess thats
how I rationalized it in my brain.I know if I don't lose this weight, my
lifespan will surely be shortened and I have 2 kids 20 and 22..I want to
grow old and be there for them. At this rate I won't be.As long as you have
confidence in your surgeon and a good support system in place your mind
will be at ease. Nothing is guaranteed in life. I am more at risk driving
around my town everyday because of the 90 yr olds that are on the road.If
you still have doubts..sit down and make a list of the things you will be
able to do after you lose the weight. Also make a list of the pros and cons
of the surgery. Thats what I did and I knew it was the right road to
follow.We are all here for you for support, so hang in there, do your
research and make your choices. If you are not ready to do this you will
know it. Good Luck and God Bless<3
— garyzgurl
December 22, 2001
Jennifer, No one can calm your fears. No one can make you any guarantees
that you won't have any complications from the surgery, perhaps even fatal.
One thing that I can tell you. Morbidly obese people, in general do not
live to a ripe old age. Seriously, how many 300 pound 80 years old do you
see prancing around? I went in without fear because I KNEW that I was
going to die prematurely. I also KNEW that my quality of life was
horrendous. I decided that this was my only chance to achieve happiness
and health. I hope that you can also make that resolution because it made
my experience a lot easier. God Bless.
— Jeannet
December 22, 2001
Dear Jennifer: your reaction is quite normal and actually is what the mind
does to survive. You have it wired up that anything that messes with your
capacity to eat will kill you...something acquired through 50,000 years of
DNA training. Besides, you are going to be laying buck naked under bright
lights, while strangers poke tubes in almost every hole in your body. And
the holes without tubes they will want to know the intimate details about
what comes out of them. Then when they have you completely strapped down
in this condition, they will gut you like a fish. When you wake up, for
the next 24 hours you will wonder how you will ever cough, laugh, or move
ever again. And some ugly nurse will be helping you to stand and walk.
Then for the next week or month or so, your entire relationship to food is
going to be reexamined. So, expecting to go through this
"calmly" is well, an innocent expectation. As for me, I
verbalized my feelings to whoever I could get to hold still long enough to
listen and, as a believer in better living through chemicals, resorted to a
couple of tranquilizers in the days just before surgery. I mood shifted
back and forth between belligerently daring someone to cross me and whining
like a 4 year old. Only with my doctor did I completely surrender and do
EXACTLY what he told me to do. But, 19 months and 195 pounds lost later, I
am a sane eater, deprived of nothing, just underwent the same pre-op
procedures for the removal of incisional hernia and a shortening of the
carbo-absorbing portion of the small intestine and a widening of the
biliopancreatic ostomy. He let the resident remove a bit of the vertical
excess flesh...by May, I will undergo the panniculectomy. I can see the
woman's body I thought I had forever lost. I hope reading this gives you
some sense that you do not have to get through this with calmness and
dignity, just get through it. Your life will be better for the rest of
your days. Good Luck,
— merri B.
December 22, 2001
Ask your surgeon for a mild sedative. Xanax (sp?) helped take the edge off
of the post-op jitters for me. Good luck and God bless! -Kim Open RNY 7/17
-74 lbs
— KimBo36
December 22, 2001
I think you're asking for a death wish if you DON"T have the surgery.
You will probably die early. I am a few days post-op. I feel great. I
too, went throught the "What if I die?" syndrome. It's just soooo
normal, to be scared. Hang in there.
— [Anonymous]
December 22, 2001
Almost everyone feels this way. But what you cant REALLY know is the
WONDERFUL feeling it is to be a post op! Just hang in there and read my
profile, I was the same way, now down 104 pounds since July 23rd.
— bob-haller
December 22, 2001
I too had the same fears, being put to sleep and not waking. The rest of
the surgery I didn't have a problem with. I had all the confidence in the
world with my doctor and knew he knew his stuff. The only advice I can
give and did this myself, was to turn it ALL over to GOD. I prayed about
everyday before my surgery 12/12/01, and the morning of, I was as calm as a
cucumber. I could'nt get to the table fast enough. Then, right before
they took me for surgery, I said the following, "Lord, I commend
myself to you, and ask that you watch over me during this surgery. Please
incamp your mighty Angels around me for protection and pray that I wake up
with no complications. Protect the hands of my surgeon and anyone else
that touches me while in surgery. In Jesus Name, Amen." That prayer
became my prayer everytime I would think about my surgery pre-op and gave
me strength and comfort. Just give yourself over to HIM and all should be
well.
Take Care and hollar if I can help. I'm now 11 days post-op and 10 lbs.
down. Doing great and would do it all over again if I had too. Good Luck!
— Bea T.
December 22, 2001
Jennifer, I never experienced fear about the surgery. God answered my
prayer for strength. But the biggest part of not having fear is that my
mind was set that I had no other options. I believe that you must have a
100% resolve in your heart and mind that this is the only answer.
Then continue to pray.
— [Anonymous]
December 24, 2001
I had the same fears but overcame them because I had researched the
procedure and surgeon thoroughly. My surgeon had done over 700 of these
before mine and had NEVER lost a patient. I also knew in my heart that God
had led me to this solution becuase it was right for me - It has been
absolutely the BEST giift I have ever given myself.
— Lisa B.
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