Question:
Is it predjudice or attitude?

I have gone through my entire life as an obese person, and to be sure the worst was grade school when I was targeted on almost a daily basis. By the time I got to high school and finally struck back while I was getting jumped by 3 girls, the daily taunts had stopped. It took me years to realize, however, that the people laughing on the street or in the store were more likely having a conversation than laughing at me. As an adult, I really can't say that I've been subject to much predjudice and I believe that is because of a few things, 1) this country is morbidly obese, we aren't freaks, we're practically the norm; 2) I try to always project attractiveness and confidence - this alone will stop idiots in their tracks; 3) I stopped thinking years ago that I didn't get the job, or my boss hated me, or whatever, because I am fat. Using my weight for a crutch kept me in a shell, unassertive - a door mat really. When I changed my attitude, my life truly began to change: my job got better and I found the strength to get out of a bad marriage. A few 'normal' men even became attrated to me. I stopped identifying my self as FAT, and started seeing all my other positive qualities. I really believe if everyone projected this kind of confidence, we would see a lot less predjudice.    — Allie B. (posted on July 7, 2000)

July 7, 2000
I agree w/ you! I found out a long time ago that if I project low self esteem, that others will follow suit and treat me in negative ways. Today, when it seems that another is looking down on me as a result of my weight, I just smile inside. I think "isn't it sad that this person judges other by their outsides instead of looking beyond to what the inner person is like?" An attitude such as that is very adolescent. Emotionally immature and uneducated people generally think that way. I feel sorry for them. After all, it is their loss in the long run if they push people away just cause they don't fit in to their standards of what is "correct" in outward appearances! Look at all the really "neat" people that they are missing out on w/ attitudes such as that!!
   — kathy S.

July 7, 2000
Allie- I think you are absoulutely right in saying that no matter what baggage is thrown our way, it is up to us how we deal with it. We can be positive, no matter WHAT ails us. :) Thanks for the inspiration.
   — Karen R.

July 7, 2000
Allie: AMEN sister! LOL Thanks for posting this inspiring thought. You are 'right on' with all your comments. And, very thin or even average women can project extremely low self-esteem too. It is almost all attitude. We choose how we will respond to everything in our lives. I grew up thin and had low self esteem - but I worked it out. Now I'm obese with high self-esteem - but I'm working on getting thin again! Americans, in general, in my opinion, do look for 'crutches' to explain their negative behaviors and attitudes. We've got to 'blame' it on someone outside of ourselves. I'm so happy to see that you've risen above that. You will go far in life and I'm sure you'll lift up those around you. I'd love to see you active in the chat room in this forum - we could use your positive support in there. Best wishes.
   — Cindy H.

July 7, 2000
I agree with all of this. I written something else but it didn't get posted.
   — Sharon T.

July 8, 2000
what wisdom you have shared. it takes most people a lifetime to recognize these things. very inspiring...thank you allie
   — Shelly G.