Question:
Please help me get back on track after years of screwing it up for myself.

It has been 2 1/2 years since my Open RNY. My last visit with the Dr. was at 6 mos. post-op. I am going to be honest, hoping not to get to much of a thrashing from you guys. Since about a year post op I have stopped taking my supplements, I can tolerate any food or drink with no dumping so I do... I drink alcohol, sometimes excessively, and as of the past few months I have rarely had the desire to eat at all. I dont cook and neither does my husband. Somedays, I will eat only a handful of nuts or seeds. I get next to no exercise. People keep saying I look like I'm still losing weight. I'm not even sure, I rarely check. Obviously, this is a psychological thing that goes beyond the realm of a message board, and I have just scheduled a follow up appointment with my surgeon after all this time. I want to change, but I know I need help... what do I eat, how much, and when? I'm don't eat meat at all to complicate things further. Please don't yell at me. Please help.    — Christina B. (posted on June 25, 2004)

June 25, 2004
Oh, Cristina, no yelling here. We all have our problems. It's how we deal with them that determines ultimate success. And you're on the right track. Keep that appointment with the doctor, and make another with a registered dietitian. You need more specific, personalized advice on eating than you can get here. Please get back on your vitamin and calcium supplements--they are critical to your long-term health. But, you know all this. Just take the first step, and see the doc and an RD. Take their advice, and you'll get back on track. It's work to eat healthily, but you can do it with a little help.
   — Vespa R.

June 25, 2004
Oh, Christina, no yelling here. We all have our problems. It's how we deal with them that determines ultimate success. And you're on the right track. Keep that appointment with the doctor, and make another with a registered dietitian. You need more specific, personalized advice on eating than you can get here. Please get back on your vitamin and calcium supplements--they are critical to your long-term health. But, you know all this. Just take the first step, and see the doc and an RD. Take their advice, and you'll get back on track. It's work to eat healthily, but you can do it with a little help.
   — Vespa R.

June 25, 2004
Don't we ALL feel like we been screwing up for years? I know I feel like that a lot of the time. I think you just did the RIGHT THING!!! You made an appointment with your surgeon! SURELY they will help you get back on track. Protein, water and EXERCISE... that is the key to weight loss. When are you gonna get on the scale? Do start taking your vitamins again! TODAY!!! You really need them... even though you may not be sick now... you never know what damage your body will face later on in life. IF you think you have a "drinking problem" maybe you should address that... if not, then you KNOW alcohol has a ton of calories and maybe you should not drink so much if you want to lose more weight. God bless you and GOOD Luck!
   — pennix122

June 25, 2004
Hi, I think that scheduling an appointment with your surgeon, is a terrific first step getting your life back on track. When you meet with the doctor have a list of questions that he can answer. Regarding food again rely on your doctor and your own body, if you don't tolerate meat, try cheese, eggs, poultry, etc. Take it slow, regarding liquor many of us go from one compulsion to another.
   — connie m

June 25, 2004
Hello, Christina. <p>You are right when you say it is psychological. Therefore, you also need to see a counselor as well as your surgeon. The surgeon can help you set up a schedule and menu plan, and the counselor can help you sort things out emotionally and mentally to get to the root of whatever is preventing you from following a healthy lifestyle.<p>My first thought on this is that you begin sitting down with your husband to one meal a day (i.e. supper) every day and include taking your vitamins during that meal. Make it a goal to just change one or two things for right now. After you get into this habit you can begin taking baby steps to change other bad habits you have allowed yourself to get into. Very few people can make big changes all at once, and you can't be expected to either. Just start moving in the right direction. It sounds like you have the desire and you've made an appointment. So now, just keep the appointment and start putting one foot in front of the other. <p>My big concern though is that you occasionally drink alcohol to excess. This is very dangerous for the health of your liver. We WLS patients have to be very careful in the amounts of alcohol we consume. I, myself, drink one glass of red wine almost every evening, but I don't drink more than that. Are you able to control the amount? Or is it a compulsion to drink to the point of excess? If so, you may need to begin attending Alcoholics Anonymous or find some other form of prevention that works for you. <p>I wish you the very best, as I know that you are desperate for help. I hope we have been able to be of some service to you.
   — artistmama

June 25, 2004
You should be very proud of yourself for taking the first step-admitting that you have screwed up, need help and want to get back on track. And you have taken the first step of scheduling an appt with your surgeon. I will echo what Brenda has said and suggest you take small steps so that you do not overwhelm yourself. Try changing one or two things,such as taking your vitamins and calcium citrate daily. Then add a bit of exercise, like walking around the block. As time goes by, extend that block to two, or park a block away from the shopping center, or take the stairs at work instead of the elevator. As you change something here and there, pat yourself on the back and take pride in the small steps. Before you know it you will be back on track and in control. As far as eating, can you drink protein shakes? At least if you drink a few shakes a day, until you get a handle on eating 3 or more meals a day, you will at least get in your protein. Enlist your husband to help you. Maybe even cook some meals together..that could be fun. Good luck and hang in there. You can do this.
   — Cindy R.

June 27, 2004
Christina you seem to have a lot of support on this page, if you need someone to communicate with please email me - I will do my best to be supportive. our physchological selves can be a bother - but we can gain control. Sometimes its fear - and facing that fear can be challenging & might need someone to help us beat our fears.
   — Anna M.