Question:
How can I stop this cycle?

Hi everyone, I am almost 10 months out, and have lost a total of 103 lbs. (down to 147). I so happy with the weight loss, but I think I'm setting myself up for failure. I'm in a size 6 or 8 yet I still feel as if I look huge. My husband and family are so supportive of me and have been all along, but I still see my heavy self. I also have a huge problem with controlling what I eat, especially a week before my period. I literally have no self control. I'm afraid that if I keep slipping I'll end up right back where I was, yet I do not know how to break this awful cycle. Have any of you been where I am, if so, what have you done to conquer this inner beast?    — Stacy T. (posted on August 26, 2003)

August 26, 2003
I'm 11 months out, down to a size 4-6 and I'm doing the same thing. I'm having a hard time controlling my eating. The one thing I'm focusing on is exercise right now. I know if I continue to exercise (cardio, weights and yoga) that I can "slip" with my eating every once in a while and still be all right. So right now I'm focusing on what I CAN control while I'm getting a handle on what I CAN'T control (eating!). I hope this helps.
   — Angie M.

August 26, 2003
I can't really relate to the being out of control with eating portion of your question (though I could have several months after I was post op) BUT I can relate to still feeling huge...I am finally down to an 8, which was my goal, and I still don't feel thin enough...it's very frustrating, because I don't know if size 4 or 6 is attainable for me...
   — rebeccamayhew

August 26, 2003
Try looking up your local Overeaters Anonymous--it will be great for you to have support and the 12 steps to help you get to the bottom of your anxieties that can cause you to overeat. I also seem to graze when I am anxious or bored, and I know how hard it is to see yourself as you really are. I am down to a size 4/6 from a 24 and I still have a bit of distortion about my appearance. Once in a blessed while I see myself as others do and it is terrific!
   — missmollyk

August 26, 2003
I too can relate to your situation. I'll be 6 months post op on Wed and down 100 pounds from a 24 to a 14. When I look in the mirror I see fat, I'm pinching my fat as I work out. Even though everyone tells me that I look great and some say that I shouldn't loose anymore, but I still look at the scale and see 179 and to me, that's still fat. I'm ecstatic about my weight loss, I've worked very hard for it and I'm proud of what I have accomplished. But I know there is a reason behind why I do these self-defeating behaviors and I have lately been thinking about getting some help for it. I'm afraid that If I don't get help then I will start to sabotage my weight loss. Or I will be conformable where I'm at and not loose anymore. (Even though I know inside that I want to be thinner than 179.) I think it's great that you have recognized theses self defeating behaviors and your seeking help. I would strongly encourage you to continue to seek out help and maybe see someone professionally. Best Wishes, Heather 280/179/130
   — Heather S.

August 26, 2003
I think it's amazing that as we get down to a "normal" size we see ourselves as fat. However, when we were fat, we didn't see as much fat as there really was. At least I didn't. I'm 125 pounds - certainly not fat - but there are still times that I look in the mirror and all I see is fat. Granted, plastic surgery has helped my self esteem get better and has gotten rid of most of the doubts that I am fat. As far as eating, I'm the same as you. I get VERY hungry the week before AND the week of my period. However, the other 2 weeks I'm normal and it all evens out. I might gain a pound or two and then take it right back off without even trying.
   — Patty H.

August 26, 2003
Hi, it takes the mind time to catch up to the body...I started at 343 and am now 175. It took a long time for me to see me as different. It's the same when some people have major plastic surgery. However, my suggestion is to find a good therapist who specializes in body image. My surgeon has one that is on his staff and every monthly visit I see the surgeon I see the pscyhologist at the surgeon's office that just deals with emotion conflicts of the bariatric patient. My surgeon trys to remind me that he operated on my stomach not my head. Best to you and it will take time, but get some help also..can't hurt.
   — Karen Renee

August 27, 2003
Its only been 10 months, give yourself a break. To lose so many sizes so rapidly, is it any wonder the brain has not caught up yet? Many long term post ops say that it takes years for it to sink in. Here's a good way to help, though. Choose a friend that you truly trust. Go to a mall and sit somewhere where you can observe people. Ask your friend to point out someone who looks like your size. You'd be amazed. As for controlling what you eat, you may just have to come up with a plan so as not to stress over this. If you know that you eat more during the week before your period, have the really bad stuff out of the house that week. Increase your exercise to compensate for the extra calories. Make a bargain with yourself-you will allow yourself 1/2 the candy bar, and not the whole one, or you will forgo the sandwich today in favor of the salad so that you can have the scoop of ice cream tonight. Its what works for me, finding a way to work into my daily diet the little treats I need to stay sane. While keeping a close eye on the scale, it has substantially reduced my stress and any eating issues. You and I sound almost like twins, as I have lost 101 and am down to 148, but you must be shorter than me as at 5'3, 148 = size 8/10 (mostly 10).
   — Cindy R.