Question:
I REALLY need everyone's advice !!!!!!
I'm not sure how to word this, and since I want to get in everything I want to say, I warn you...this may be long! But I really need some input so if you could bare with me, I'd appreciate it. I have been coming regularly (via mostly lurking) to this site for over a year now and researching WLS for about 1.5 years now. Unlike most testimonies I have read of other MO people, (here, e-groups, articles..etc.) I have not been overweight all of my life. I enjoyed a slender figure even after my first two children were born. It's the third pregnancy that started it all! LOL Anyway, I steadily climbed in weight because of compulsive overeating due to a marriage from hell. If I don't do that, I don't gain weight. I know that this is similar to other's lives. BUT, honestly, I have no problems maintaining otherwise and this seems to be where we part ways, so to speak. Right now, I am 150lbs. overweight and I have stayed at this weight for 2 years. No loss, no gain. Let me back up. In 1997 I went on Phen-Fen for three months and lost 65 lbs. I started at 280 on May 1, and ended at 215 sometime in August. I kept it off for a year. I did have a small regain due to the fact that I had started a new home-based business and was now sitting in front of a computer screen instead of running around like I normally did. So, when I saw it creeping up, I went and got Phentermine and lost what I gained and a few more pounds. I had had a prior knee surgery and was starting to feel really bad pains in my knee again and that limited my motion even more and I gained back what I had lost on just the phentermine. If it hadn't been for that, I really believe I wouldn't have gained it back. I had a second knee surgery and was getting over it well and had started losing again when I got pregnant with my youngest, who is now 2. I gained 50 lbs. with her and have not lost ANY of it. This is why I am 150 lbs. overweight instead of just 100 over. I have long since given up on "dieting" and just eat like a "normal" (has never been overweight) person. I have read about people who weigh much less than I do going on binges that lead them to eating entire loaves of bread or 2 or 3 take-outs from different drive thrus. I have NEVER been able to eat that much at one sitting and the amount I AM able to eat is about the same (sometimes less) than that of my MIL and she is a 150 lb. person who has never had a weight problem. A binge to me is eating 3 donuts at one time! After that, I'm sick. IF I were to listen to my body and stop when I feel satisfied, and not feel like I have to eat the entire portion on my plate, I'd only eat maybe 1.5 cups of food, which I understand some long term post-ops eat now! So, I don't diet, I don't watch what I eat...I eat late at night (sometimes) and sit a lot becuase I am always on the computer doing research for school, reading...whatever...but I have not gained weight in 2 years. Obviously, I know why I haven't lost. I did go on a trip to see my mom a couple months back and while I was with her, I didn't snack as much and didn't eat at night like I do at home and I lost a few pounds. I don't know why I can't seem to do that here. I need to bounce this off you guys so someone can help me figure out why I'm not gaining when lots of other people in my shoes would already be another 100 lbs. heavier. Of course, I'm very happy about this, but am I so different from everyone else or is there someone who has had this happen to them too? Am I just looking at my circumstances all wrong and, in reality, I'm just another "yo-yo" dieter? OR, do I have something else wrong with me that WLS won't fix? I mean, the doctor is going to see my past medical records and know that I have been at this weight for a while now. If you have read this far, thank you. I believe that I do qualify for surgery based on my weight and comorbidities, and KNOW that once I get the weight off (which was always hard to do) that I will be like I am now and maintain what I have, if I don't revert to compulsive overeating. I shouldn't have any problems with that since I am re-married and do not need that comfort anymore, which is why I believe that I haven't gained weight. BUT, will the doctor see it that way? I understand that you cannot have surgery IF there is a metabolic reason for your weight gain. Does this sound like me? Or am I just CRAZY?? HELP!! — Jeralyn Merideth (posted on June 11, 2002)
June 11, 2002
Hi Jeralyn, I was never a binge eater and did not eat large amounts. I
also would stay at a weight for a few years, gain some and stay there for a
few years. Trouble was, those years caught up to me. I don't know your
age but it gets harder and harder as you get older to motivate yourself to
lose. I found myself going from 160 lbs. to 360 lbs. in 20 yrs. Finally
at 57 I knew my only option of ever losing weight and having a life back
was to have surgery. It was the best decision in the world. In just under
6 months I am down 103 lbs. and life is wonderful.
— grammie5
June 11, 2002
Like you, I never had a weight problem as a child. I was athletic and
muscular and never started putting on weight until college. Anyway whatever
your reason for gaining or not losing weight, you would more than likely be
healthier if you can lose it. If you can lose it by other means than WLS, I
think most of us here would agree, GO FOR IT! Surgery should probally be
your last resort. Things don't always go the way we want them (from
surgery) and if you can lose it another way (healthy) it is always best.
Best sounds like you may be a canidate for WLS. But it sounds like you have
some "emotional issues" that you may need to work on. You don't
want that baggage after surgery. I wish you the best of luck.
— Danmark
June 11, 2002
Jeralyn, WOW. I don't know if I can answer any of your questions, but I
want to let you know that your story sounds much like mine. I was 150 lbs
overweight, but I never had a problem with my weight as a child. When I
was a senior in high school I was in a car accident and broke my back. I'm
not stuck in a wheelchair, but I did have to wear 2 different braces for 6
months. That kind of got me started in my ways. This was in 1987. I was
about 150 lbs when I was in the accident. In 1990 when I got married I was
about 205. Then I had 3 kids, and ballooned up to almost 300. Of course
in between pregnancies I dieted (phen-fen, dietitians, Weight Watchers,
Jenny Craig, etc.) and had lost some weight, but always managed to gain it
back. I started looking into surgery in Oct. 2000. I was lucky enough to
have my surgery June 14, 2001. I am now down 112 lbs, and only 6 lbs from
my surgeon's goal of 180, but I'd like to get to 140-150. So, even if you
weren't fat as a child, and even if you CAN maintain
your weight now, I think you'd still be able to have surgery. I always
managed to stay at whatever weight I was when I had my last child. For
example, when I got pregnant with my first one, I weighed 220. When I had
her I was 246. I stayed at 246, unless I dieted. When I got pregnant with
my second child, I was 246, went up to 277, and stayed there, unless I
tried to diet it off. But I always gained it back, and usually stayed
within 5 lbs of my original weight. When I got pregnant with my son, I had
just gone off the phen-fen, so I started at a reasonably low weight, about
210. I gained about 80 lbs with him. And when I finally had him, I
actually did gain weight, lost some on Meridia (a whopping 10 lbs!) but
gained it all back and then some. That is the yo-yo dieting. I think your
dieting would also be considered yo-yo. As far as I'm concerned, if you've
lost and then gained it back, it's yo-yo-ing. I wish you all the best in
your journey!!!
— Becky H.
June 11, 2002
Jaralyn, Sounds like you don't eat all that much, certainly not enough to
be 150 pounds overweight. Have you had medical tests to ensure that you
don't have a thyroid issue? Also, you don't mention exercise. Have you
lost weight when you combine diet with exercise? If you do make the
decision to have surgery, keep in mind that it is only a tool that will
limit the amount you eat. If you abuse it, READ: Compulsive eating, you
will defeat it and gain the weight back. Just because you are re-married,
does not mean that other issues might not arise which drive you to need
"comfort". You may want to address this issue too. Good luck
to you.
— Cindy R.
June 11, 2002
If you do not think you need surgery (and you have very valid reasons to
feel this way), DO NOT GET IT. It is too risky if it is not necessary.
That said, please educate yourself on the "new generation"
medicines that specifically target obsessive-compulsive BEHAVIOR. It
sounds like these medications (Paxil, for example) would have been a more
appropriate treatment than the phen-phen. Talk to your doctor specifically
about these eating patterns. Do it BEFORE your body adjusts to being
"fat". If you are supposed to be thin, genetically, fix the
problem that is keeping you from being that way. Good luck!
— Karen F.
June 11, 2002
I would not recommend surgery to you if you feel like you are able to lose
weight by any other means. Surgery really is a last resort. It's wonderful
that you are able to maintain a weight if you try. My suggestion is to try
really hard to lose weight one last time. If it does not work, you'll then
know that you are making the right choice to have surgery. There are risks
with this surgery that you don't want to take if you don't have to. I hope
that you can lose the weight by other ways. If you don't, surgery is a
great way to help you. I think your doctor will see it that way, too. Good
Luck.
— Sarah K.
June 11, 2002
I wasn't a big eater either. I pretty much ate a bit here and a bit there,
but could never eat as much as the rest of my family could in one sitting.
Yet the weight still creeped up. Oh, I could diet and lose it, repeatedly.
Eventually I'd gain it all back and then some. I never figured out how to
maintain my weight. If you think you are among the 2% of people out there
who can start a diet and successfully get their weight off, go for it. I
knew I could, I just finally figured out that it wouldn't stay off. Good
Luck.
— NicoleG
June 11, 2002
Hi...original poster here. First, I'd like to say thanks to all that
answered my very long post! Second, I wanted to clear up a couple of
things. I originally placed this under "qualifications of
surgery" not "should I have surgery". I WANT surgery!!! I
just didn't know (and wanted opinions based on my stats) if the DOCTORS
would think I need surgery. In answer to a poster who asked me about my
thyroid; I had my gall bladder removed last year and at that time, they
tested my thyroid and found it to be SLIGHTLY under what it should be. I
was (and still am) nursing my toddler and the meds they gave me made her
hyper so I discontinued them. About 3 months later I went to my PCP for
some bloodwork and they also tested my thyroid and found it to be normal.
Go figure! :-)))
— Jeralyn Merideth
June 11, 2002
What is your family history? My husband was a lean, mean eating machine
and my friends all thought I was starving him (or eating his share!) UNTIL
he turned 40. Then he started "wearing" every bite he ate. Just
like all the men in his family. EVERY single one hit the Big Time at age
40, diabetes, sleep apnea, the whole works. He went from a little gaunt to
morbid in a year or so. Surgery has worked for him because he is
genetically morbid. A lifetime of obesity is not required to be able to
escape from it surgically. Of course, different docs, different
insurances, but there are certainly docs who will help you even if you were
not heavy until ______.
— vitalady
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