Question:
I made myself read every single memorial and I'm totally freaking out

In my preparation of learning and deciding to have surgery, I read every memorial and the number of people that died several days ,weeks ,even months from unexpected things like blood clots and heart attacks just have me so frightened. I keep thinking to myself..I'm in God's hands but maybe God guided me to those memorials so maybe I'll change my mind? Am I being paranoid? I have my consultation with my surgeon March 24th. I'll be bringing up my concerns. Can ANYONE say anything to calm me down? I'm really worried and to think just hours ago I was so excited about this surgery...now I'm just scared. Is this normal? Is God trying to give me a sign not to have this surgery?    — kathleen-Joan piper (posted on March 1, 2003)


March 1, 2003
Kathleen - everyone that reads those goes through a bit of anxiety and posts here about it. And then they go ahead and have the surgery, come through it fine and then post how much their lives have changed since the surgery. I'm one of them. <p> I was hospitalized in January 2002 (6 months PRIOR to my surgery) with blood clots in both lungs. It could have been worse - they could have gone to my heart causing a fatal heart attack or to my brain giving me a stroke). The reason for the clots?? I didn't have a lot of activity due to my obesity and I had a grossly swollen lower left leg due to lymphedema. The doctors hypothesize that the clots came from that lower left leg. <p> Now, since the surgery, I have lost 152 pounds as of 2/8 (my last weigh-in) and my leg is down to normal size (a combo of the weight loss and keeping it elevated in a recliner 8+ hours a day working from ome). I'm a lot healthier post-op and you will be too. <p> Please remember that those deaths are but a small, small percentage of people having this operation. If you need to chat at length, please e-mail me through my profile...JR
   — John Rushton

March 1, 2003
been there, done that!! i too visited those facts and you need to be aware of the risks..but you also need know that people die waiting for the surgery too! do not let yourself become a victim of fear! if you have been cleared medically, emotionally and spiritually then think long and hard about taking the next step. the surgery is not for eveyone but if you feel it is for you go for it!!! good luck. nan 9 weeks post op -52lbs and feelin great!
   — nan K.

March 1, 2003
been there, done that!! i too visited those facts and you need to be aware of the risks..but you also need know that people die waiting for the surgery too! do not let yourself become a victim of fear! if you have been cleared medically, emotionally and spiritually then think long and hard about taking the next step. the surgery is not for eveyone but if you feel it is for you go for it!!! good luck. nan 9 weeks post op -52lbs and feelin great!
   — nan K.

March 1, 2003
Kathleen- My dad dropped dead from a heart attack a few weeks ago. Had he been younger and in better health, he said he would have liked to have WL surgery (his docs said "no".) Only God knows if this really would have helped him at his advanced age and health problems, but I truly feel that the surgery does help people before their "co-morbidities" take care of them. Good Luck in whatever you decide.
   — Mea A.

March 1, 2003
I was precerted and ready to go for surgery back in January of 2000. I read the memorials FREAKED and canceled based on them and scare tactics some "friends" in the medical community used. And you know where I am today? 15 lbs heavier...Sure I ahve lost 40 lbs a MINIMUM of 3 times. But it always comes back and feel just a bit more self hate over my escalating weight with ever lb. Wednesday I have a consult with a different surgeon that offers the Laparoscopic procedure. I feel much better about things this time. I do wish it were 3 years behind me and I had not let me fear take over! Know that many of the deaths are people who unfourtunately were in serious health cardiac and/or pulmonary wise DUE to their obesity! Much Love and Luck- Lisa
   — Lisa K.

March 1, 2003
Hi Kathleen, I just finished reading those myself last evening. (2/28) I feel like I have grown in knowledge by reading them. I too, was at first alarmed by the death numbers. It has taken me two years to even go talk to anyone about wls. I have a peace about it now. I owe that peace to my AMOS family. This site and the people on here are just wonderful. I think it is very important that you find a doctor that you feel "connected" too. I prayed that the Lord would lead me in the direction that I needed to follow. First I was lead to this site and from this site I was lead to my doctor. if I can be of help or if you would just like to talk please don't hesitate. I'm pre-op, but I am a good listener. May God Bless you and may He give you guidance.
   — becky

March 1, 2003
I think we all go through that.... death thing. But when I had my surgry someone told me I would more likly die of a heart attack or some other weight related illness than on the table. I made it!!!!! and you will too. Remember all surgeries have risk.
   — Cindee A.

March 1, 2003
Hi! I think that what you are feeling is very normal.I also think that reading the memorial section is a good idea.An educated,responsible decision is knowing both the good and the bad.Now that you have seen the "bad" go to the before and after photos and see all of the good.Whenever I get nervous about this surgery that's where I go and it is so inspiring.
   — jennifer A.

March 1, 2003
I read them all before my surgery. Most of the people were very different than me. I also thought about the fact that I read it and knew the risks and then what? Cancel surgery? Then I would die a slow and certain death. I made the decision, very informed, and came through with flying colors. It's normal to be scared. Major surgery is major surgery and it would be abnormal to NOT be scared.
   — susanje

March 1, 2003
Hi Kathleen, You are right - you are in God's hands, no matter what you choose to do. Trust him to give you peace about your choice. He loves you and wants good health for you. He has no problem revealing to you which choices are right for you. Ask Him to tell you straight out - He will.
   — MaryCinFL

March 1, 2003
After being sure I wanted to do this I read the memorials and it really shook me up for a few days. I think I needed to face the facts that this is a serious surgery. But it's also a life saving surgery for the vast majority of people. The mortality rate is the same as for any other abdominal surgery and it should be higher since EVERY SINGLE patient is a high risk MO patient. Make sure you trust your surgeon and then try to trust God. I believe Psalm 139 that says every day of your life is already known by God. This is a time to decide to actively trust God. I also decided to do a few practical things like update my will (I'm a single parent) and write each of my children a letter.
   — Laura K.

March 1, 2003
Kathleen, someone I know was scheduled to have WLS...he was over 600 lbs. He started to lose weight on his own and was excited by his success and decided to cancel his surgery. He passed away a few months later from a heart attack. I guess my point in saying this is that yes, there is a risk of dying. However, being morbidly obese gives you no guarantees either. Having surgery gives you a chance to live your life the way it was meant to be. It isn't God's intention for us to live miserably, he's given us a tool to help us live our lives the way we're supposed to. You have to understand that the population that is having this surgery is risky anyway. Who's to say they wouldn't have passed from a heart attack without surgery. The important thing is that you make an informed decision. I agree with the other postings. You have to have peace. I've found my peace by researching and deciding that this is for me. The rest is up God. I have truly put it in his hands. I hope this helps...
   — Morna B.

March 1, 2003
Hi Kathleen, The only thing I know to tell you is that there is risk with any surgery,even having your tonsils taken out.This is something we all have to get thru with the help of God and good friends here .The knowledge I have acquired from ths site mainly has been vast.My researching has been going on close to two yrs and now I am ready to go forward and am comfortable with the decision.Wht has been hard is alot of folks think "Just Diet "HELLO I am 50 and have been there and done that <Guess what it didn't work and this is a last ditch effort. So best of luck to you and God be with you. Ugs4u Juanita
   — Juanita H.

March 1, 2003
Yes - God is trying to give you a message. God has provided us with the increasing skills of dedicated surgeons to give us this tool. God has given you the intelligence to realize that you need to do something about your health before it gets worse. God has given you the intelligence also to investigate this procedure well before you take that step. I know with my increasing co-bidities it was a matter of time before I stroked out, became blind or had a amputation from Diabetes - all risks because of my weigh. God will take care of you - Pray and have peace. Love, Sally, Harrison, MI : 3/26/03
   — Sally P.

March 1, 2003
I know EXACTLY how you feel! I did the same thing and I was totally freaked out. I drove myself crazy thinking, is this a sign from God or was that a sign from God , I did it all the time. I have two kids and the thought of me not being there for them was almost unbearable. When I went to the doctor he made me feel 100% better. There are risks to anything. He told me that I had a better chance of leaving his office and being killed in a car accident, than I did dying from surgery. I really felt at ease. The day before my surgery I was a total basket case. I cried all day, I walked around like a zombie. It was horrible. But to my surprise the day of surgery I was actually quite calm, I couldn't believe it. I figured if I was supposed to have it, I would. And if I was not meant to, something would come in the way. I'm 6 weeks out and I'm so glad it's over. I'm doing great, I don't get sick on anything, YET. I am losing very slow though but I think I just need to get on that dreaded treadmill. GOOD LUCK with whatever decision you make, YOU ARE WORTH IT!! Kelly*
   — Kelly* P.

March 1, 2003
Stop thinking irrationally. You are 'over-thinking' something that needs the sober application of rational thought. God gave you a mind and free will, and, maybe the gift of discernment. But it is my understanding that confusion and chaos are not the doings of God. So just knock it off. See? Simple....
   — merri B.

March 1, 2003
I also read the memorials as I am on the this long journey towards surgery..THe ones that stuck out in my mind were the deaths BEFORE surgery ..While WAITING....I dont want to be one of those..I want a chance to live life to the fullest..Hugs to you
   — Kathy S.

March 1, 2003
I did the same thing just before surgery. That page scared me to death. I just about changed my mind 1000 times. Now I am sooo happy I didn't. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. Please read my profile it should make you feel a little better.
   — Linda A.

March 2, 2003
Personally I never understood why some people feel the need to scare themselves like this by reading that before surgery. Yes it's good to know the risks, but there are other ways of doing this besides reading that page. Seems it would be best to read it several months post op. But what is done is done.
   — Danmark

March 2, 2003
Okay, you read every memorial. Now go back and look at every single "before and after" picture. I bet that will take a lot longer!! Every normal person has that worry about dying, since this is an elective surgery. I had thyroid surgery 2 years ago, and that probably carried a bigger risk, but since it was necessary, the fear about dying was a lot less. Go to your consultation. If you are relatively healthy, you should be fine. Weigh you risk against others, but remember that sometimes the whole story is not represented in the memorials. There may be family histories or pieces of personal medical history that aren't mentioned. When someone dies an early death, there is always a need to place blame. Sometimes the surgery is the cause, or even sequelae, but who knows if blood clots and heart attacks would not have happened anyway? When I had surgery, I wanted to lower my risk as much as I could. I started walking after surgery, and coughing and deep breathing in the recovery room. Beyond that, it's in the hands of God. God has given you the guidance to get to this point, as God helps those who help themselves. You are learning - and learning both the good and the bad, and only you can figure out if the benefits outway the risks. My best to you, and you are perfectly normal!
   — koogy

March 2, 2003
I know this surgery is scary for many of us. One thing is for sure--everyone one of us are going to die. I don't know my fate--but I would rather die doing something I believe in that sit around being fat for the rest of my life. Up to the point I was taken into the OR, I wanted to leave--now I am so glad I had the surgery. Good luck
   — barbara A.

March 2, 2003
Remember that the risk of dying from this surgery is quite low. Your surgeon can discuss what the risk factors are for you, but because of liability issues they have to be very careful who they accept for surgery. Although the risks are higher for larger patients, the risk is still, from what I've heard, lower than the risk of staying MO. Several years ago, I had some minor surgery and asked about the risks of anesthesia (which is often the greatest risk factor in surgery). The anesthesiologist said that I was actually more at risk from my drive over to the clinic than I would be from the anesthesia. This was extremely reassuring! WLS is usually of short duration, also, which keeps the risk down. Good luck!
   — sjwilde

March 3, 2003
The risk of dying from this surgery is relatively low, however, please remember that it is major surgery and that your pre-op health has a lot to do with your body's ability to handle surgery and anesthesia and also the care that your surgeon gives you is very important. At least one of the deaths on the memorial page, my friend, Ginger Brewster, could have very easily been prevented. I often wonder how many other people on the memorial page could have survived had they gotten better care before, during and after their surgery. Please pay attention to your pre-op health in terms of getting your co-morbids under control and make sure your surgeon takes precautions for any co-morbids you may have. Don't let any treatable co-morbids "fall through the cracks". If these measures are taken I'm sure you will be fine. I wish you the best of luck with your surgery. Please feel free to e-mail me if there is anything I can help you out with.
   — Hackett

March 3, 2003
I, too, read the entire memorial page. One of the things I did with the info was write down the BMIs of people, whether they were waiting for surgery or if they were post-ops, and what they died of. I found that a lot of people died while waiting for insurance approval. If somebody died post-op I made it a point to check out what their pre-op BMI was as well as their pre-existing conditions. I did not have a lot of pre-existing co-morbidities and was considered a lightweight. You may also fall into that category. All in all my research helped me to put things in perspective. The biggest worry I had was the anesthesia but I also realized that no matter what type of surgery I was going to have I would have the same risk factors with anesthesia. Like my surgeon told me before my surgery: "You can change your mind all the way up to the minute we start the anesthesia". Knowing that I could hop off the table at the last possible second really put things in perspective for me. It meant I was in control. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
   — Esse

March 6, 2003
I hate to be the giver of bad news, but I feel as if I should share my story. Not to scare anybody, just to keep everybody informed. I decided to have surgery for my obesity at the age of 23. Everybody, my doctor included told me not to worry about the complications because I was young and healthy; and those most that die or have complications are older and super obese. I had a lap surgery, and to make a long story short I suffered serious life threatening complications. I had a leak, an abscess, a blood clot and a hematoma of the spleen. I was in and out of the hospital for the first three months. I wasn't able to eat or drink anything for two months (even water). It was scary, and I can't say that I would recommend this surgery to anybody, unless it was a life or death circumstance. My advice is to trust your gut instinct, trust and investigate your doctor, and make sure that you have exhausted every other possibility. I'm sure you will make the right choice. Good Luck and God Bless.
   — JM B.




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