Question:
Does anyone else feel ambivalent about reaching goal?
This may seem like a strange question, but in context it may not be. I have been "large" all my life. As a child I was stocky and as an adult I have never weighed less than 200 pounds although I am only 5'2". Six months after surgery I am almost half way to my goal weight of 125 from a high of almost 400. I feel wonderful. I'm off my BP meds and am working my way off my Prozac. But, lately I have been thinking that I don't really want to be thin, I just want to feel good. I will be happy at 200 pounds and I know that I feel good and look good at that weight. Now that I have a real chance to be a "normal" size, I'm feeling pretty ambivalent about it. Am I nuts or does anyone else feel okay about ending up being plump? — [Anonymous] (posted on March 1, 2001)
March 1, 2001
The important thing is to get healthier. If you are happier, then great.
If you can do this without comparing yourself to others, even better. More
power to ya.
— Cindy H.
March 1, 2001
I agree with Cindy H. ... this surgery isn't to make people skinny. It's to
improve our health and our likelihood to see old age. Some of us may never
see the underside of 200 pounds becasue that's where our bodies decided to
remain. The fact that you have come to terms with your weight and feel
"comfort in your own skin" is a great thing. As long as that's
what it is. The other side of this "feeling" can be lack of
motivation and an ugly need to just quit trying. The surgery is a tool,
and not a quick fix answer. I'm sure you know that. but if you've found
that place in life that you can be at peace with yourself and are happy and
healthy ... what more could you ask for? I wish you the best in life and
pray that you continue to excel in self-acceptance. It is a goal many
people with weight issues have trouble coming to terms with. Best Wishes!!
— Rachael R.
March 1, 2001
Hi. Great question. I am only 1 week post op but never cared to weigh what
some chart said. When I get to where I feel good..can move around...can
interact with people THAT will be my goal weight. Many others are younger
than me and worry about things I do not. I want my health...thats all.
Congrats on your progress so far.
— Nancy Z.
September 1, 2001
I am terrified of doing wls because I will loose my protection. I don't
want anyone to be attracted to me. I have to handle this incest-rooted
issue before i do wls. I was happy to be 230 & stayed there for 10y. In
the last 7 months i've gained 70#s. Now i'm terrified to be 290. I've never
gained so much so fast. I need to stop it fast. I believe so much that wls
will work, that for the first time i have to confront changing my
irrational belief. I know that fat doesn't keep me safe. Now convincing my
emotional unconscious is the task.
— Judy B.
September 1, 2001
I thought I was the only one who felt this way. All of my friends keep
saying "I can't wait to see you skinny!" I keep saying that
"Being skinny" isn't my goal.I just want to be able to move
around and be healthy. They just can't seem to understand this. I'm 21 so I
guess age has alot to do with their mentality.
— linda Q.
September 1, 2001
Yes, the main reason insurance approves these surgeries is so that we don't
die from our MO, but right up there is our entitlement to live and look
"NORMAL". I'm at goal, after living 25 yrs as a MO woman, have
adjusted to my body image over the last 22 months with support, therapy and
self-reflection, and hell, I'm thrilled by all the changes, both health,
mobility and appearance. However, I find other's reactions to me
interesting. My 25 yo daughter whose life was impacted by the limitations
and teasing, is now critical of the way I dress and behave. She's not used
to a mother who shows off her new figure and tells me "I act like I'm
25." Apparently SHE has to adjust to my new body image. Also, the
irony is not lost on me that my male neighbors and contractors, etc., are
now aware of my existence, i.e., the guy across the street has stopped by
to chat more this summer than the entire 20+ years I've lived here! I
can't get rid of the electrician after he's finished, etc. I'm the same
person, but none of these guys bothered to find out before.
— Jill L.
September 1, 2001
Me too, I am about six weeks out and down 50 pounds. Now it might be nice
to weigh 185 my chart weight but at 263 I already feel I am a success. Off
diabetic and blood pressure meds, in fact all prescription meds. Achey
joints much better. My vision ravaged from diabetes has improved
remarkably, and I drove last night in the dark and was able to see good for
the first time since last fall. Everyone is noticing the new me, and I feel
wonderful. Anywhere near 200 pounds and I will be thrilled.Chart weight ins
meaningless.........
— bob-haller
September 2, 2001
I know how you feel. According to "the charts" I'm supposed to
weigh less than 123 pounds. I was 253 pre-op and have lost roughly 83
pounds since Dec. 2000. At 4'11' I have never weighed 123! I had the
surgery because of all my health problems, and they have already improved
tremendously. I look better and feel better. What more could I ask for? I'm
around 170 right now (between 169-171) and though I probably will lose
more, I'm very happy now. My surgeon even says he'll be happy to see me at
150 pounds. Personally, I'd like to see 135, but if I stop at 150, it won't
be the end of the world. If I'm healthy and active, that's all that matters
to me. I have a wonderful hubby, so I don't need to attract guys, and since
I'm pushing 40, I never intend to wear a bikini, so what the heck. I'm
going to be happy wherever I end up on the scale. Good for you that you
will be too! Best wishes, Maria
— Maria H.
September 2, 2001
As long as you are healthy and happy it shouldn't matter what the scale
says. We don't need that devise to determine our self worth any more! I've
lost 124 lbs. in a year and weigh 170. My doctor thinks I can get down to
155. Sure, that would be geat, but I'm happy now and if I don't loose
another pound that would be fine. I weigh less now that I have in over 20
years. I'm healthy and my only limitations are due to arthritis that I have
developed (nothing related to surgery - a result of a fal and genetics).
For me feeling good was more important than being thin.
— georgiacarol
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