Question:
How do you know if attention is positive or negative?

Recently, I was at the mall with my DH and noticed several times that there was some attention directed at me. However, I can't really tell if it was good or bad. I almost wanted to go up to them and ask. Two guys walked by me, and I overheard one of them say"Damn." I'm so used to the negative attention that being MO brings, I felt myself hiding back inside my shell, and I immediately put my coat back on(I had on clothes that actually fit size 7 pants and a cardigan sweater) Peoples say I'm skinny, but I can't see it. My DH says I don't ned to lose anymore, but I'd like to get to 125. Please help!!!!! Donna in AL    — Donna S. C. (posted on December 9, 2001)

December 9, 2001
I would be thrilled if that happened! For years, I have wanted to make my DH feel jealous of attention I got. Now, it may happen! Yippee! I think the "Damn" was a compliment and because of our feeling inadequate for so long, we don't know how to accept this. I am dealing with this too. I went out recently and was alone. I didn't look any different in my eyes but so many people were nice to me and as I got gas at a self serve pump, a nice looking man asked if I needed help. I was floored. Don't know how to react. I am just overwhelmed by it. I guess we will get used to it but for now, I am just surprised! I try not to show my surprise but am very appreciative! I try to enjoy it. Can't wait until it happens with DH around! Do you think we put out different vibes as we get skinny? Maybe men can sense that we are putting them out and even though we don't realize it, we are more attractive and sexier. It is great!
   — [Anonymous]

December 9, 2001
I bumped into a lady I once dated. She gave me a big hug. Which was more affection than she ever showed me before, Jen thought my comment was hilarious. I had ran into her a year or so ago, no hug. Only difference is my 98 pound loss. I think Jen is looking forward to showing herself off to a few old friends too. Women as well as men make those decisions based on appearance. I always felt those folks were shallow, and still believe it today. ENJOY the attention but if your married or commited to someone remember those folks liked us for what we are INSIDE, and for me that makes them better than ones only looking for a nice body.
   — bob-haller

December 9, 2001
I have always thought "Sexy is as Sexy does"
   — [Anonymous]

December 9, 2001
I think a "damn" at 327 would have a sort of question mark tone at the end(if that makes sence.) and a "damn" at 125 would have a more "confident" abrupt ending to it. So to answer your question I think your "damn" was more like a "damn what a hot mama" than a "damn thats a big woman". Damn, that was a hard question:)
   — K T.

December 9, 2001
I am the original poster. I want you all to know that I am married, and very happily at that. But my DH _does_ pay more attention_ a lot more_ now than he did before. Maybe because he realizes others (however shallow they are) do find me attractive. He has loved me through thick, thicker, and thickest, and our marriage is even better now. I love him more than my own life, for just seeing and loving the me inside. But you all have to admit, the attention is a nice side affect, when all the attention I ever got before was nearly always negative. Thx, Donna
   — Donna S. C.

December 11, 2001
LOL Relax, Donna, if you are a size 7 there is no way anyone was thinking you are fat. Maybe "phat?" Not to make light of it, I am the same way. I often take things the wrong way. We are just so conditioned to feel self conscious. Next time, though, PLEASE don't put your coat back on. Stick out what's left of that butt and SWANG IT! ;)
   — ctyst

December 21, 2002
Those guys are thinking "Damn, what a Hottie!" I have noticed more attention given to me and I'm just now a size 20. I started at a tight size 28. I think it's positive attention because of my own attitude. And if it's negative, who cares. Take a picture of yourself and compare it to a before picture. You will see the positive difference. Start loving yourself and the positive thing that you have done for your own health. Congratulations!
   — Candy J.